The deep love and caring for years, can be erased completely by several days of disagreement on two parents, ( 95 years old ) staying at home. Husband's care for wife of 73 years. Love has been / is, less than skin deep, Any contact to us from family has been eliminated. Caregiver of our health has agreed husband is capable of proper care at home !
So - no, don't take this disagreement with your children online. Please don't.
Who is the "caregiver of your health"?
Give your children a copy of the essential book "Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End" by Atul Gawande. It will help them regain perspective on who is and should be in charge of decisions such as the one your family is currently struggling with.
Meanwhile: how are you and your spouse managing? What are the main challenges?
One dominant son (62) has convinced every one that he is 100 % right. Yet he has tears talking about his last dog.
We are in a Senior Life program and wife has aids visiting twice a day for 1/2 hour.
They would not take anything from me, it's pure hate .
You would be better served to speak with a therapist or your religious leader if you have one.
Daughter believed every nasty thing twisteds told her. That hurts! And then to post on FB?! She only considers one side of the stories, because for whatever reason that is what she wants to believe. Who knows?
She posting to FB cut deep. Why would she do that is anyone's guess. I now think she is narcissistic and wanting attention because of her hurt over my broken relationship with twisteds.. poor, poor daughter! Is it really about her or any of her business? Never.
Do not post to FB if you ever want a chance for relationship with them.
1. If you NEVER want to fix any relationships, go ahead and post it on facebook.
2. We are only hearing 1 side of the story. What would the family say about their childhood, early years and adulthood. You sound bitter and judgmental....is that how you sound to them?
In case of emergency, do you call this son to assist? Maybe this is wearing him out? Maybe his marriage is falling apart. Maybe he cant take a vacation to see his grandkids?
Please look at this from another's perspective.
You wrote: "I'd just like the world to know how heartless they are". Would that really solve anything? Or abate the sadness you feel? You're hurt, and angry. I can understand that. But sharing it so publicly won't change that.
Heed the advice of those who have already posted. Airing a grievance can only worsen it if outsiders become involved.
It seems that there are some deep rifts in the family. Do you have any insight into why the family feels this way, and why the younger ones are so distant?
Apparently it arose from a disagreement about your "staying home". This probably links to many other issues, such as your current health, the care you may or may not have, and more.
Whether or not elders stay in their own homes or accept placements in care facilities seems to be a major issue, and point of disagreement, for families addressing this issue.
Please understand that I write this not to be cruel, but to offer insight based on what you've written. If your family has decided to withhold visits because you and your wife refuse to leave your home, and your response is to publicize their cruelty, this suggests to me that resolving issues is challenging, if not problematic, and that negotiation and "meeting of the minds" is equally challenging.
Are you religious? If so, could you ask your rabbi, pastor, imam, priest or other religious person to intervene and moderate?
Again, I am not trying to disparage your family or be critical; I just think that the feelings on each side may be too strong for either to compromise, and outside assistance may be of benefit.
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