My sister had my mother move in with her and sold her house for $500k. She used this money to purchase a condo that is used by her son. In addition my mother used her IRA monies to pay off the debt of her grandson.
My mother fell and now needs to be in an assisted living home. My sister says she can no longer care for my mother at her home. She is now pressuring my mother to ask me to pay for 1/2 of her care.
When anyone confronts my sister, she becomes argumentative and combative.
I have supported my mother for the past 20 years, providing all financial needs without any help from my sister. The assets my mother had and gave my sister were to provide monies needed for my mother's care in later life.
To answer your question, no you should not pay for half of your moms care unless you are very wealthy and can afford it. Is your sister paying the other half?
You stated that you have been supporting your mom for the past 20 years. In what way? I thought she was living with your sister.
The condo should be sold to pay for her care...as the grandson can find his own place to live. Also, whatever money your sister used to dig herself out of debt should be paid back as well. It was not your mother's responsibility to dig your sister out of debt.
If you assist in paying...you are only helping your sister.
At the same time, I am wondering why your mother made this decision if your sister had a history of financial irresponsibility or was that something she hid and your mother wasn't aware of. All in all, your sister and her son should be ashamed of themselves and do what is right.
But kiss that money goodbye. WHen I read posts like this I thank God I never had children because they are the ones who can cut your throat.
I agree, sell the condo. Sorry grandchild, time to go.
How is this even a question?
Please carefully follow what our readers have advised. Sounds like some potential fraud to me unless the Grandson's condo is sold to give back cash to Mom to pay for her required care. Withholding Mom's money constitutes a fraud.
Our Forum serves a purpose: discussions before actions. Some misunderstanding?? Then there is no point in your discussing any further. Thank you for your trying and with best regards.
Patathome01
I've already discussed my point of view a few times, I don't know how else to restate it. I agree sister should do what's right and sell the condo to help fund mom's care. I just don't think she can be forced to. Hence maybe it would be better if OP and her sister can work together to some kind of agreement. Many of you disagree. That's fine. I just think you are reacting on emotion and not considering what could or could not be enforced by law. It would be good if a lawyer chimed in on this thread.
her future care and how it would affect the rest of the family
My dad never thought he’d get sick .
Had nothing but his monthly income
I couldn’t afford care since I have my own family and my own debts. He needed full time care so he used first Medicare and then we applied for Medicaid.
You shouldn’t be responsible since you have the rest of your life to deal with.and may need that money for you and your younger family.
Best to you
A nice gesture to get the grandson off to a good start in life.
If it really is a burden on you, just simply say, I am sorry, I cannot help out at this time. "
Not sure where you are, but does she have life insurance, retirement account, social security, etc? Sis how much does she get monthly?
Perhaps you can help her find a place for mom, ? And do ask what mom's budget is right now. Take into consideration, diapers, ensure, shampoo, snacks, deodorant, taxi cab rides to and from facility.