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What a difficult decision for your husband to make.
If he and she do decide to move forward please make sure that everything is in order regarding what to do in the event it goes south- DNR, Molst , or Advanced Directives so hubby is not caught unprepared to make those hard decisions quickly while under stress.  
Keep us posted & good luck!
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Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all your insights and support. I just wanted to update you on where things are with the TAVR surgery for my MIL with dementia. Though the two cardiologists in town were advocating for surgery, my husband was finally able to get to speak to a family member in France who happens to be a cardiologist and understands my MIL, as well as her total health picture.

He said at her age of close to 90 he wouldn't push doing a valve replacement, especially with the combination of other health conditions (macular degeneration, dementia, near deafness). He said you have to look at the overall quality of life, and the procedure could make her other health issues worse.

Both my husband and MIL were so relieved to have this opinion - it made their decision to not proceed with the surgery feel comfortable and right, especially spoken from a family cardiologist who knows my MIL very well. Sometimes doing nothing is the best decision. My MIL was looking to my husband to make the decision for her, and it's been very stressful for him to have this weight of feeling his Mom's life is in his hands. And he as a good son wants to do everything in his power to help her.

When specialists such as a cardiologist tell us that a procedure can help us or prolong life, they often are focused on one specific organ, not the total health picture of an elderly person. And we put so much trust in them. I wish doctors would look more at the total elderly patient, ask the right questions, take into account the dementia patient's quality of life. These are complex decisions and patients, and i wish our current doctors were better equipped to help us.

This cardiologist in France said that eliminating salt and eating a healthy diet would be the best thing in the world for her to keep her going.
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