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Hannah~So glad to hear your mother is doing better. She must have been in a lot a pain which probably caused her to react the way she did. It's hard enough to go through that type of surgery at a younger age but at 80 it is doubly hard. Keep us posted and take care!
Thanks for the update Hannah, glad to hear she is doing better!!
For sure, not an easy thing for anyone to go through what she did. Really shakes one when you feel how fragile we each really are, plus the meds and everything else.
Sounds like having been home for a bit centered her back some as well...knowing she really made it through, things will be okay, etc.
There are many list that tell you what the early stages are but when people ask us, we simply ask them one question. "have they been doing things out of character and any recent falls/ suregeries or traumatic events?' if yes and you truley think dementia has arrivied, help her by keeping her involoved in activities she use to love like Bingo or music and classic movies she might have liked, keep her as active as she is willing to be liek walking around the block, and give her activities to do like trivia games, suduko, crosswords, read newspaper/books etc. It will help her keep her brain active. Just try to help her find what makes her happy again...Nothing is a real solution but there are many things you can do to help slow down the process :)..Good luck with everything, I know it's hard, but try your best to understand she may be angry and kind of mean towards people right now because she is probably confised, could probably be depressed...Remember there are always Dementia support groups, Adult day cares if you need a break, and other options to help YOU as well as your mom. Again, we wish you the best hang in there!
Yes, meds were definitely a problem. She had part of her lung removed and that is a hard thing to go through in your 80s. She is one month out now and doing tremendously better. She is being nicer to the folks that come to help. It is just a huge difference in behavior from 3 years ago when she had an abdominal type surgery. That was what scared me. All we can do is take it one day at a time for now. I will keep you all posted.
My mom in law fell and broke her hip (she had very mild dementia at the time). After this the dementia got real , real bad. She was living in an indepentent senior center...stopped doing anything, eating, taking meds, grooming, writing out checks to things she would never buy, not recording checks, not paying bills..and really , really mean to everyone. After taking her to her dr and explaining what was going on, he talked to her firmly and said it was time for assisted living. She also was started on mediciation to help. She does not remember any of this...her mind has come back some, but at this moment..it is slipping away again. She has lost all intrest she had before, eats and lies in bed unless they make her get up and do something. She has an appt with the dr again this week to see if the meds need to be increased or if we just have to deal. The dr did tell us, that a big injury will cause this disease to move faster...we talk to her every day, take her out each week to shop and out to eat...but she eats now and wants to go back home. She is very quiet now, only answers questions by saying "I don't remember"....but she does ask the same questions over and over.."where are we going? all the time. She hates seeing the drs, says they are all stupid....hang in there, you are not alone...together on this site we can help and support each other
Can you tell us what surgery she had? Check side effects of meds, etc. Some may change glucose levels, or she may be prone to UTIs, which also present like dementia, among other signs.
In any case, your sister should talk to her and let her know you are all aware she wants to be home, and in order for caregivers and family members to try to help her do so, it is important she treat everyone with consideration as any helper or employee would expect in any other job setting, because if it becomes impossible for anyone to be there to help her, she may have no choice but to go to assisted living as State and Federal laws will not allow one to live alone when their health and mobility become safety impediments.
Not an easy thing for all of you to go through, hang in there!!
I think my mom is okay at this point. She had a big surgery and was confused and extremely mean and demanding while healing. She is being nicer now but I am not with her. My sister lives near her and has been staying with her as much as possible during the healing process. She is better now that she is in her own home. I am just worried because her behavior was so rude and horrible. She says whatever she wants like she is queen. I feel bad for my sister. I am secretly concerned for the future because if she gets to the point where she can't care for herself my sister will up the creek with no paddle. My mother is mean to care givers and only wants to be home where she can control everything and everyone. She makes choices that are not helping her to remain independent even though that is what she wants. It is like she wants everyone to fix it all but she is not willing do do her part of the work which no-one else can do. (such as walking more and losing weight, etc, the things the doctor says to do). She seems to be thinking pretty clearly, just hyper focus on anyone she is mad at. Thanks for sharing all your stories. I thought the confusion and meanness might be a beginning of dementia but if so it is too early for me to tell. I hope and pray she continues to be able to live on her own because she would hate assisted living and I have no doubt she would get kicked out. Thanks again and God Bless You All for your help.
When my mother started getting confused I knew she had Alzheimer's. The forgetfulness she was having did not seem like anything other than the normal age related forgetfulness. It will be 2 years this November when confusion started, she has progressed now to where she can't balance her check book and she can't tell the difference between my sis and me when we talk on the phone. I have to remind her who I am several times during the conversation.
My father started with weird things like leaving the water running from the faucet, putting the sausage links in a drawer instead of back in the freezer, went around the block and tried to go to a different house that was the right house number but wrong street.
Here are the 10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer's and Dementia:
1. Forgetfulness and memory loss 2. Lack of concentration and confusion 3. Losing things 4. Difficulty doing familiar tasks 5. Language and speaking problems 6. Problems with simple math 7. Poor judgment 8. Personality changes and mood swings 9. Changes in grooming and personal hygiene 10. Withdrawing from friends and family
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
For sure, not an easy thing for anyone to go through what she did. Really shakes one when you feel how fragile we each really are, plus the meds and everything else.
Sounds like having been home for a bit centered her back some as well...knowing she really made it through, things will be okay, etc.
For sure, we are all here for you!
Can you tell us what surgery she had? Check side effects of meds, etc. Some may change glucose levels, or she may be prone to UTIs, which also present like dementia, among other signs.
In any case, your sister should talk to her and let her know you are all aware she wants to be home, and in order for caregivers and family members to try to help her do so, it is important she treat everyone with consideration as any helper or employee would expect in any other job setting, because if it becomes impossible for anyone to be there to help her, she may have no choice but to go to assisted living as State and Federal laws will not allow one to live alone when their health and mobility become safety impediments.
Not an easy thing for all of you to go through, hang in there!!
Keep us posted! all the best!!
1. Forgetfulness and memory loss
2. Lack of concentration and confusion
3. Losing things
4. Difficulty doing familiar tasks
5. Language and speaking problems
6. Problems with simple math
7. Poor judgment
8. Personality changes and mood swings
9. Changes in grooming and personal hygiene
10. Withdrawing from friends and family
Read more here: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-disease-dementia-warning-signs-144253.htm
-Karie H.
AgingCare.com Team