My next door neighbor has Alzheimer's and dementia who is 69 years old 70 in September and her other neighbor has a 33 year old male visitor who has been going over to her apartment and been staying longer and longer he knows what she has well last night I seen them in her car leaving together around 8 pm they got back around 10:30 pm and he was driving her car he got out then opened her door which is not a problem but it really looked like he was kissing her but couldn't swear on it then walked around car he grabs her hand and they walk hand and hand to her place he goes into her place where he stays about an hour. He has no money works part time, always borrows money from everyone and she well off. When he first met her he went inside her place came back out said "that lady has to much money then she knows what to do with" I'm afraid he might take advantage of that. I don't know anything about this guy I know he goes over to the other neighbor and drinks everyday with that other neighbor and that lady is 64 years old. Should I let her son know what I've seen or am I just jumping the gun here?
My point is, if neighbors had told me what was going on, I would have tried to stop this so called friendship sooner than Mom did. The neighbors knew this person for what she was and never said a word to me about it. It would have been nice to have been forewarned.
Now that does not mean it is right and certainly the son should know so her assets can be protected.
I hear it is very common for young men in prison to have an elderly girl friend on the outside who they write passionate letters to. I had a patient who did that regularly and sent him a few of her scant $s. She was desperate to meet him and a volunteer drove her to the prison. The volunteer said they were behaving like a young couple and she was scandalized. The relatives wanted to stop the communications but they were powerless until she moved into her sisters home at the very end and the sister simply did not give her the mail which was quite sad
Actually, the answer to that question lies in the second half of your question: "am I jumping the gun here?" Because the implication of *that* is that you have already decided that the young visitor must be up to no good.
Looked as if he was kissing her - not helping her with her seat belt, or her purse?
Walked hand in hand - is it no longer ok for a gentleman to offer a lady his arm?
Has more money than she knows what to do with - and how do you know he hadn't just had to get gracefully out of being given some? Or at least given more than he thought moral to take? Why on earth would he have brought the subject up if he'd just schmoozed her out of a bundle?
You say he never has any money and works part-time. So you either know him pretty well or you're listening to gossip. What is his established reputation?
But in any case. If these outings are harmless fun for an elderly lady, they should continue - and there is no reason why everyone whose business it is shouldn't be cheerfully discussing them, as you would any other excursion. They could be *good* news!
And if the young man does have ulterior motives, and is out to take advantage, you still don't have to ram that point home to the son. Speak freely about what you've observed: to the lady, to the young man, to the lady's son. Then let him draw his own conclusions.
"He has no money works part time, always borrows money from everyone and she well off." and "I don't know anything about this guy ...".
It's good that you watch out for your neighbors, but I can't help wondering how much of your determinations are accurate, since you "don't know anything" about him.
Call the son, then let it go. Beyond information the woman's relative, it's really not your concern. I agree with RM on this.
We have instincts and gut reactions for a reason, it's good to listen to them - when your gut is telling you "danger" you really need to pass on the message.
Good luck, I hope you are just jumping to conclusions, but I suspect this is not a good situation for her :(