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I've been getting different suggestions/answers from different AL places that we've visited, on whether or not my mom can receive benefits through my dad's military service.
He was in the Navy from 1950-1953 with an honorable discharge. They married in 1957 and divorced in 1988 (both in California). He died in 2001. I was under the impression that since he served before they married, she was not entitled to VA benefits.
Thanks!

There are a lot of contradicting answers here. Mine would contradict some of the ones given here. I think your best opportunity would be to go into a VA office with your dad's paperwork from his military service and talk with someone face to face. My understanding is that anyone who served, war time or not, is entitled to Aid and Attendance. However, the divorce may remove her benefits. But, there are also spousal premiums he may have paid specifically for her to receive some of his pension. It is very confusing as to who is elligible and who is not. The VA has been very good to my dad who served in the Air National Guard and the Health Services Branch (yes, they are another military branch that very few know about). I have found that the VA employees are trying their best with a difficult system and will help you if you go in with a kind and gentle attitude. They deal with a lot of grouchy veterans who are difficult to work with (understandable and trauma related - my dad is one of them). Be the light in their day and they (usually) will do everything they can to help the family members who are kind.
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Reply to Stahtah
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Those serving during the Viet Nam war were drafted for 2 years but only served a year in Viet Nam. Some never left the States. My brother was one who stayed State Side because of the work he did.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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You are correct. Also not unless he served during war as was a Combat Veteran. Getting an actual Combat Veteran a Service Award is almost impossible as it is. It took me 4 years to get my Ex his Service Award for combat in Vietnam. A veteran's wife gets nothing, especially if they divorced.

These young men were drafted in 1970 out of high school, meaning Vietnam or 2 years in JAIL. They walked 5 miles through a hot jungle every day for almost 18 months, on "ambush patrol." They saw their friends and innocent children killed right in from of them. But they don't qualify for anything until they hit age 65, after spending 20 years in the military. After that, it takes years submitting forms that are rejected constantly.

I'm a Colonel's daughter, and I will say with conviction that the VA is a national disgrace. Illegal immigrants got more benefits in California (my state).
Sorry, but that is my personal experience.
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JoAnn29 May 18, 2026
My BIL was a Major in the airforce for 20 yrs. He received his pension, at 43, and medical benefits. My other BIL did ROTC in college and served for a time afterwards. They have access to cheaper car insurance and other benefits. My uncle, was allowed to still use the PX. Everyone has to wait till 65 to get Medicare. Two men I know use the VA hospital as their secondary insurance.
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Aid and Attendance can be tricky.
I would contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission and ask.
What you would need to bring (if you have it) is your dad's DD214 (discharge papers) If you do not have that his Social Security information,.
You could go to the VA website and see if the information is there.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Since Mom is divorced from Dad, I don't think she is entitled to anything. Aids and Attendance is probably what the ALs are talking about and Mom can't get that if divorced. I guess she never remarried? Because if that spouse had served during wartime, doesn't have to see combat, she maybe able to get A&A based on his service.

I think not being married during service time has to do with pensions and you have to be in the military 20yrs to receive a pension. Best bet is to call your County VA office. You will need his typed discharge papers. My Dad left his paperwork in the envelope they were in when he received them. If you don't have them, they will be able to look them up.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Dad had to have served in the Navy during wartime. Contact your area VA if he did.

Good luck.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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CaliforniaPoppy May 12, 2026
His service was during the Korean War, though he did not see action.
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