My father will be 90 in June. He has a host of health issues but still lives in his huge house and has a part-time caregiver, then just me, his only child, helping take care of him. He is a widow. I have been POA for 7 years and have been handling all his finances during that time because he had a stroke 7 years ago and just cannot do it. Even pre-stroke, my dad was terrible with money, hence the extensive credit card debt. Add to that he fell for a Publisher's Clearing House scam last spring, and charged up $10K to one of his credit cards, and the cc company refuses to forgive it even after I sent letters with proof of fraud, my lawyer friend called and I called, they won't budge because he technically approved the charges himself even though he was brainwashed into doing it by the scammer. It was a terrible situation that about pushed me over the edge last year with him, I was so angry because he refused to believe me and really thought he was going to win millions by spending money buying these scammers debit cards and phones. It was unbelievable. We finally got Verizon to forgive those debt but not the cc company. So in addition to this $10k he also still has another $4-5K on several other old credit cards, so we're looking at about $15k total in credit card debt. I've been making minimum payments for years but we are at the point now where he's outliving his money and I need to stop paying them so we can pay house taxes, his medicines, and medical bills, as well as things on the house that have to get fixed like heating and plumbing issues.
My dad only gets SS income. He also gets a VA benefit, that we use almost solely to pay the caregiver. His huge house is in a trust in my name and has been for 7 years. He owns a car and still drives very sparingly but that's probably not going to be much longer for him. The car is not worth much. No other assets at all.
So if I just stop paying his credit card bills, what will happen? They'll start harassing him with calls and letter? They can't touch his SS and VA income right? They can't touch the house because it's in a trust right? I just don't see another way of paying the necessities and still pay CC bills. We need that extra money to pay his house tax. He had some income in a trust that now is all gone that we used previously to pay these taxes.
I am just worried about what they can do if I stop paying all these cc bills. I don't want them to be able to get the house or come after me. It's also really stressing him out, which isn't good for his health, then he stresses me out with zany ideas to get money and it makes me angry and lose patience with him, which just causes unnecessary stress for both of us.
Thanks for any advice.
I think that you need the advice now on your father's dime for an Elder Law Attorney. Not paying your Dad's debt is one thing. They cannot, as you say, attach his SS. I don't know about VA benefits. But they CAN put a lien on his home if I am right, even if it is a part of a Trust. This is a question for the Elder Law Attorney.
As to Dad's credit being RUINED that is a BENEFIT in all this. His card should have long ago been canceled by you if you are his POA and he is incompetent.
The next question is "IS he incompetent" because you cannot make decisions for Dad if he isn't.
So see that Elder Law Attorney right now. He or she can answer questions and explain your DUTIES and your RIGHTS for Dad.
Good luck.
Unless you want to pay that debt for him in order to keep the house. If he is leaving it to you in his will. Which begs another question is the house paid off.
It sounds like he is going to keep racking up debt unless you can do something to stop it. You could try and get him to give you a financial poa. Get him to give over his credit cards to you. But I find most old people are really foolish and gullible and prideful and will not let their kids help them. They would rather give all their money to scammers then get help. It's a shame.
As it stands do not pay your dad's debt or credit card payments out of your own pocket.
First, DON'T pay anything else. If the collectors see that there is someone taking control of the debt, they could possibly take your bank information and go into your account and take the money. That is what happen to me with a credit card. I paid a small amount one month and once the collector got note of the bank account routing and account number, they took what my dad owed out of my account and left me nothing. So don't pay anything else. This way they won't KNOW who else is there to go after.
What you might also want to do so to prevent any further damage is to create a LifeLock account so if he tries to buy anything or open another line of credit, you will get a message that someone is trying to use his information. Then you can block it before it becomes out of control. Opening a LifeLock account might cost you a few bucks a month but it's worth the piece of mind.
Good luck. I hope that helps you a little. Stay strong, you WILL get through this.
I put credit locks on my dad's three credit reports. This was to stop him from applying for new credit cards.
I canceled his existing credit cards to stop fraud charges.
I opened a Visa debit card with Chime. This was his new "credit card" he could go to the store with. I kept only a hundred on that debit card. Scammers could only take what was in that card.
I closed his checking account. He would give that checking/routing numbers out to scammers.
I opened a new checking account for him to receive SS payments and pay bills. I never gave him that information.
It was helpful that my dad was in mental decline. He couldn't figure out what I was doing so was unable to stop me.
My mother passed away in 2020 without ever puting my name on the deed to her house even though I lived with her and cared for both her and her house since my father died way back in 1982. We shared household expenses. She did suffer from paranoia and did not trust lawyers or pretty much anyone for that matter. She was always going to do it but then always said "I have time yet" until she suddenly didn't. I was named executor in her will.
She also died with rather huge credit card debt. As executor I had to sell our home (her house) in order to afford a probate lawyer, pay all the costs of probating her will, pay inheritance taxes, pay all the fees and taxes, realtor commisions included in the selling of her house. Probate has taken over a year to complete. I got to inherit the remainder of her estate. The only real thing of value was her house which sold for $145,000. After everything else was deducted, I was left with only $80,000. So basicalt settling her state with debt cost $65,000. I bought a bungalow for myself and my dog. I never tried to force her to see a lawyer to get things in order before she died. I figured her life her way. I never realized I would have to leave our home to settle her debts after she passed. I was unaware of her huge credit card debt. Had I known about that I certainly would have done somthing to pay it down and protect the house from creditors before she died. As for the credit card debt, I was able to negotiate them down but not as much as I had hoped. But they will negotiate.
I suggest that you see a lawyer. If your father has a will it will most likely state that all debts should be paid. You in that case may have no choice but to pay them off when the will goes through probate if their are enough assets to cover the debts. CC Debts are paid off last in the probate process. I do not know about a house being held in a trust however, how that may affect payment of his cc debt. Your best bet a consult with a lawyer. Then you will know for sure how to proceed.
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