I have type 1 diabetes and lupus also severe PTSD from years of physical abuse. I want to take care of him but there are days when I myself can’t move due to the lupus and the stress is keeping my sugar in the 400’s. When he gets mad and goes into a rage he wants to hurt the caregivers which is me and my husband. Spine collapsed and just had surgery for twisted small intestine that they say will take a year to recover from. We have taken him to senior care at the hospital several times for violent behavior. He wanted to shoot us but we had removed the guns from the house and so he tried to grab scissors that someone dropped from their purse and tried to stab my husband. They keep telling us that he has to come home with us that they can’t find placement. We are the legal guardians for him. I just don’t know what to do anymore. We don’t feel safe in our own home. However we want the best for him. Please help.
Are you living in his house, or he in yours? Perhaps you cannot legally refuse to let him go back to his own home. If you are his court-appointed guardian, you are not responsible for hands-on care, but you are responsible to see that he gets appropriate care. I know that is what you are trying to do, via the hospital. On any of these visits has FIL been held for a few days for mental health evaluation?
Like most (all?) states, Alabama has provisions to commit someone against their will, for psychiatric evaluation. There are strict guidelines in place -- you can't just call and ask that your hairdresser be committed because she gave you a crazy hairdo. But your situation is exactly what this provision is for. Someone is a danger to themselves or others and will not cooperate with evaluation. This procedure is usually referred to as the Baker Act.
Call your Area Agency on Aging. Explain that you need to have someone Baker Acted, and why. Ask how you can get some help with that.
Next time he rages, call 911, do not go to the hospital, tell them under no uncertain terms that he can not come back to your home, get the name and position of the person you are speaking with, keeps notes on the call and stick to your guns "NO, HE CAN NOT COME BACK TO MY HOUSE, PERIOD!" I would even tell law enforcement when they arrive that he needs to go and can not come back. Hospital will try to guilt you, bully and push to get you to take him. Don't fall for any of it, NO, they will have to keep him or place him, and I have seen that they are so understaffed that they will do anything to not have to deal with this part of their job. God give you strength to hold strong and get him in a facility that will meet his needs and keep everyone safe. I pray you and your husband have relief from your body trials. HUGS 2 u!