My mother is in an Assisted Living/Memory Care home. The Dr says she has early Dementia. Her legs no longer work so she is in a wheelchair. We can't take care of her at home. Some days, yes, she is confused and tells some tall tales that I can tell are not true. Most days she is very "with it". Once in awhile, on those good days, she will tell me how the staff doesn't respond to her calls during the night, how some days they gather in groups away from the living area where most people are, laughing and not paying attention. She says she has had to call out to them when a fellow resident is trying to get up and is a fall risk. Actually, I have seen this happen a couple of times. When I try to discuss my concerns w/the resident nurse, I am Always told that this is Alzheimer's and she doesn't really experience these things. Makes me angry! I know my Mother. What should I do next? Thanks in advance for any answers! Karen in Texas
These facilities employ people who are sometimes apathetic, underpaid and "worn out" from the exhausting, routine and sometimes "thankless" job they are doing in caring for our elderly. They aren't perfect, but as long as our family member is not having bed sores, neglected, in danger or abused we may have to sometimes cut the caretakers some slack. Sometimes we don't have the time, energy or skills to care for our elderly and we put it off on others. They are doing the work and care that our parents did for us in our youth of wiping our butts, feeding us, helping us walk and bathe, etc.
If we can afford in home care for our loved ones, then we should let them stay with us. If we feel we have to place them in a home, then the best we can do is go visit daily or work out a schedule where relatives, friends, or church members visit on a regular basis. This makes the staff more apt to do their job better.
I also, on the one hand, think "what about it?" There is always going to be a time lag before calls get answered. There is nothing especially wrong with staff interacting with each other, though if I were their line manager I would probably want to "have a word," as they say, about how.
But on the other hand what *would* worry me, a lot, is that the resident nurse is not listening. And is brushing absolutely everything under the rug of 'your mother's away with the fairies.'
So who is next in the chain of command? Up you go!
Staff gets breaks and are allowed to laugh. Do you see them really neglecting people or is it maybe they aren’t doing what you imagine they should? How do they treat the residents?
During those three weeks I witnessed residents asking for by help and being ignored; residents being moved roughly; residents being spoken to with disrespect...
I'm sure they were glad to see me leave, because they knew I was watching, and the time I was there they had to be more mindful of their actions.
Believe your mom...
Please believe your mother.
The loud laughing particularly irks me. Some of the residents are in dire needs. Laughing while working at one of the home's stations should be kept to a minimum.
Another poster said that they may kick your mom out and that is true, so be prepared to have another place willing to take her and get her records as soon as you see there is a problem, they would stoop to falsifying the records.
In the mean time, spend as much time as possible during the problem times, ask for help when you see groups of employees and write down their names so they can see you are taking notes.
Send a letter to the Department of Health Services and ask them how you can get help addressing the neglect of these residents. Explain that you have approached the proper line of command as you understand it and they deny what you have personally seen, blaming the residents medical condition on the neglect.
Please let us know what happens.