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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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There are pathways to the exits, a functioning if dirty bathroom but no place to sit except for my parents. They own their home outright and don’t want to leave but I want to know if in-home nursing visits are even a possibility?
A functioning bathroom is quite the luxury compared to some homes I have seen. Dirty? Ha!
Two or three weeks ago a gentleman declined my suggestion that I ask his GP to visit because he was too ashamed to let a doctor see his house; to be sure, it did need a bit of a spring clean. But I was able to assure him truthfully that no one visiting from a health or care service would think anything of it. You very quickly get used, for example, to a bedroom so soaked in old and fresh urine that the ammonia literally makes your eyes water and your throat burn - and the person is *sleeping* in that room. Or the kitchen where there's nowhere to butter toast because every surface is covered in engine parts and oily rags and chicken feed, with a single breadboard the only clear spot in the room and you're none too certain how clean that is.
So I doubt if you will be introducing skilled nurses to anything they haven't coped with before. Ask for an assessment. If the assessor is, truly, alarmed by the safety implications then a) the agency will soon let you know; and b) it may start the ball rolling for your parents to be helped to make improvements - they won't be able to tell themselves that it's just you being a fuss-pot.
I am an elder law attorney in California, so please understand the laws where you live may be different. I have seen here in CA the situation you describe. Sooner or later someone, likely a visiting nurse or caregiver, observes the hoarding situation, which more often than not is dangerous, and calls Adult Protective Services. The Public Guardian then steps in and when they see that the individual owns a home, they try to establish a conservatorship. They then move the incapacitated person from their home and then sell the home to pay the cost of assisted living. It's best to consult with an elder law attorney in advance to prevent this. Conservatorships are very expensive and should be avoided.
Can conservatorship be done for someone who is deemed competent, with full capacity for decision-making? Or as is in my state, it would require a Determination of Incapacity.
To get a yes or no answer, you would have to ask the agencies in your area. We can tell you that yes it’s possible but we can’t know for sure. Not everyone is willing to work in those conditions especially if there is a safety hazard.
Safety as well as health hazard...clearly not only for the nurse but the inhabitants...might need to connect with your board of health, or area agency on aging. Hoarding is a more prevalent problem than people realize and some communities have set up task forces and have lists of resources for help.
You need to seek psych services not nursing services. What Sally talks about happens in all 50 states...it's a real gig. Be careful who you send over there as it could cause a lot of problems. If they took over the house which happens all the time, they would commit them and spend them down. Family is key here, not strangers. Are they hurting anyone? Is either life in danger? Are they happy? Is it worth it to have them live as you want them too? It sounds like the situation has been going on for a long time: it is about comfort...if they want to live and die in their own filth; who are you to stop them.
SueBK, sadly when it comes to hoarding and tiny pathways, even EMT's will have a difficult time coming into that home but they will tackle the challenge. Thus, you may find other medical personnel being hesitant or not wanting to enter the house if it is for a routine visit.
Hoarding is a cocoon safety net for some people. They tend to feel safe with so many things around them. My Dad wasn't a hoarder but he had a lot of books and wanted each and every book to follow him to senior living when he moved. The books gave him comfort.
With your father's mobility problems, cluttered pathways are going to be a problem. My hallway to the family bedrooms is 42 inches wide and one PT attendant characterized it as a little narrow and it is narrow to easily turn a wheelchair. I doubt people are going to want to provide bathing services in a dirty bathroom either. Skilled nurses are going to want somewhere to at least set their bag/box down without contaminating it too much to take to the next location.
I suggest getting at least the entry/living room and the bath clear and clean.
SueBK, I feel for you, I really do. My 95 1/2 year old mother is a gambling addict and a hoarder. I tried everything to get her out of that house and into assisted living. She will not let anyone in her house except the EMTs. I called APS. Since she is competent there is nothing I can do!! She can live and die in her own filth. She can’t go upstairs because of shortness of breath so she sleeps in the downstairs bathroom in a folding chair. Your situation is a little different because your mother is sharp but your fathers mind is declining. I would call APS for help. Your mother could stay there if she has a sharp mind but your father needs to be in a facility because of the dementia. I am sure if you had skilled nurses come in, they would be mandated to call APS. It’s a horrible situation.I am going through it with my mother. I had to back off seeing my mother. I see her once a week to bring in mail and take out trash.
I can't speak for all home care agencies, but that wouldn't stop our clinicians from seeing a patient. They would, however, get our social workers involved and would make a vulnerable adult report. But they would provide care as best they could. The only way they wouldn't is if they thought their safety was at risk.
It's very possible that the nurse will feel obligated to contact Adult Protective Services, who would send someone to your parents' home so assess how safe it is for them to live on their own.
Workers here have a right to refuse so even if an agency agrees to provide care it might depend on whether you can find anyone willing to return after their first visit.
The only thing that makes me seriously clench my teeth is when the door locks don't work. Once I literally couldn't open the front door when I wanted to leave: fortunately the client's son was at home, and he climbed through a window and went round to force the lock. Far more often, securing the house behind you is difficult because the lock is dodgy or the key is worn. Even more often, the code we're given for a key safe is wrong, or the key isn't in the key safe...
Ugh, I'm getting twitchy just thinking about it - and it's my day off!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Two or three weeks ago a gentleman declined my suggestion that I ask his GP to visit because he was too ashamed to let a doctor see his house; to be sure, it did need a bit of a spring clean. But I was able to assure him truthfully that no one visiting from a health or care service would think anything of it. You very quickly get used, for example, to a bedroom so soaked in old and fresh urine that the ammonia literally makes your eyes water and your throat burn - and the person is *sleeping* in that room. Or the kitchen where there's nowhere to butter toast because every surface is covered in engine parts and oily rags and chicken feed, with a single breadboard the only clear spot in the room and you're none too certain how clean that is.
So I doubt if you will be introducing skilled nurses to anything they haven't coped with before. Ask for an assessment. If the assessor is, truly, alarmed by the safety implications then a) the agency will soon let you know; and b) it may start the ball rolling for your parents to be helped to make improvements - they won't be able to tell themselves that it's just you being a fuss-pot.
Hoarding is a cocoon safety net for some people. They tend to feel safe with so many things around them. My Dad wasn't a hoarder but he had a lot of books and wanted each and every book to follow him to senior living when he moved. The books gave him comfort.
I suggest getting at least the entry/living room and the bath clear and clean.
The only thing that makes me seriously clench my teeth is when the door locks don't work. Once I literally couldn't open the front door when I wanted to leave: fortunately the client's son was at home, and he climbed through a window and went round to force the lock. Far more often, securing the house behind you is difficult because the lock is dodgy or the key is worn. Even more often, the code we're given for a key safe is wrong, or the key isn't in the key safe...
Ugh, I'm getting twitchy just thinking about it - and it's my day off!