Mom has no short-term memory but she's a very organized individual and manages well at home. She eats frozen dinners, high-quality cereals, peanut butter and cold-cut sandwiches. She snacks on packaged cookies and candy. She's entertained watching baseball and basketball and reading. Oh, and news programs. Though she's willing to change to something else for me, by the middle of the show she wants the remote back so she can find something she likes. She loses food in the refrigerator if you bring her something new. She seems content but I wonder if living with other people would make her more energetic.
I am a social person but being around people, even those I love, for extended periods tires me and all I want to do is get away. A lot of you younger people think of it from your point of view, I see you saying, "I wouldn't want...., or I think....".
A lot of the time, especially if you wear hearing aids, a lot of noise is bothersome. When you are in your 80's and 90's you don't have the energy to visit all the time. My husband's nephew, his wife, daughter-in-law and two sweet little boys came to see us yesterday. After about an hour I couldn't wait for them to be gone. This last summer I spent 5 days at the beach with most of my immediate family. The happy noise my children and grandchildren made drove me down to sit under the canopy at the beach with my book for hours. I had to keep explaining to one of my daughters that "NO, I am NOT MAD, I am HAPPY, I just want to sit and look at the water!!!!!!!!" Hubby and I are used to quiet.
It sounds like your mother is doing well and happy where she is, but having a conversation about what she would like in the future may be good for both of you. It may ease your mind knowing you are fulfilling her wishes once she can no longer make those decisions.
I can't have that conversation with my mother, who is 91 and lives alone by choice yet complains about everything: neighbors, her heat, her a/c, the sun coming in her window, you name it, but she won't have a conversation that results in any improvements. As a result, I have communicated my wishes to my sons and daughters-in-law so they can know what I would want even if I can't communicate it should something happen.
I wish you the best, but "don't fix what ain't broke." Gauge the situation by your mother's content, health, safety, and happiness. Good luck!
She sounds like she is just fine at home, if you are worried about her being alone to much, try to find visiting Angel's or volunteer visitors to come see her or enlist all the friends and family to rotate spending time with her.
Old people get tired and less social, do her wanting to stay home is completely normal.
I pray she continues to do well at home and gets to go on her terms.
If your mom is doing well, I would not even consider a nursing home, assisted living or independent living. Those are big changes, and unless it is desired by her, may have a negative effect outcome.
Too often, we children force our own perceptions onto our elderly parents. We think they’re not socializing enough, they’re not getting out enough, etc., I struggled with the same exact feelings when I cared for my parents. But they are stronger and most happy when independent in their own home for as long as possible. Many things- slowing of socializing, lessening activity (getting out & going) are actually very normal parts of living as an elderly person. Sounds like she’s happy and can operate fine within her own home. If there are any issues you have, at this point, maybe you can help her tweak them. Otherwise, I’d leave things as they are. What a blessing you are to be concerned and to be a wonderful daughter!!
So although we might like to think of our parents eating a fabulous five a day diet, taking gentle exercise and making new friends (or even more: "old people can be so cute!" from the film Clueless springs to mind) and smiling on their supportive team of caregivers as they join in making festive decorations...
If, on sober reflection, such a scenario would make you wonder if your mother had been abducted and cloned by aliens...
Best not interfere. You don't necessarily know better than she does what's good for her.
Having said that: her voluntarily giving up the car shows that she is realistic about the need to adapt, plus there are one or two signs that you want to keep an eye on her own preferred routines to make sure she's coping. Then you can be ready to send in reinforcements or rethink her care plan as needed.