Caring for Mom

Caring for Mom: Mum has been steadily declining and is struggling with how to enjoy life despite her growing limitations. Depression and dementia go hand in hand, it seems.

After my mom was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's, I had to learn to live in her world because she couldn't live in mine. This is a glimpse into my ongoing journey with Mom and how I have learned to fight back against dementia.

The progression of her Alzheimer's disease over the last eight years had been pretty much textbook. Still, nothing could have prepared us for the process of putting mom in memory care.

As caregivers, how much do we owe our aging mothers? Learning to appreciate those who mothered us during our formative years and finding forgiveness in our hearts for those who faltered in these duties can help us come to terms with these relationships.

Caregivers need respite, but the thought of spending time away from our care recipients is often anxiety-inducing. Based on the success of our latest experience, I came up with five tips for dementia caregivers who are planning a holiday.

Like many other dementia patients, my mother repeatedly asks a handful of complex and emotionally charged questions. This is how I try to set her mind at ease.

Memory problems and dementia-related behavior changes can get you into some sticky situations. As a caregiver, I’ve discovered a simple solution for making outings less stressful and more successful: “dementia companion cards.”

Trying to please someone with memory issues can seem like a losing battle. Many caregivers bend over backwards for their loved ones only to have their efforts fail or fall short. Sometimes the guilt feels overwhelming.

A multigenerational household may seem convenient, but there are many important factors to consider before moving to a larger home or building an addition to accommodate an elder.

Eleven years have passed since my parents moved in with my husband and me. What I didn’t anticipate was that opening up our home to my mom and dad would, in a sense, shut the door to our refuge.

Helping an aging loved one look and feel their best can be an unexpected challenge. Use these tips from a caregiver to make washing and styling hair easier for both of you.

Placing a senior in a nursing home can feel like a monumental failure, but this isn’t the case. Adjusting your attitude can help you realize that you are actually fulfilling the underlying commitment you made to your loved one.

If a senior’s abilities have waned, it can be challenging to find ways to adapt or replace the pastimes they once loved. In some cases, there is no encouraging or convincing an elderly loved one to remain active.

Even though Mum didn’t remember the details of our picture-perfect day together, she was very happy. With dementia, the memories may not stick anymore, but the feelings and emotions attached to them still linger.

As a dementia caregiver, I see Mum fading in and out of reality, sometimes recognizing the severity of her illness and other times not even realizing something is wrong. All I can do is go through the motions with her.

As Mum’s memory fades, the realities of her everyday life seem to go as well. It’s like acting in a strange play with half of the cues missing.

For the last ten years, Mum and I have been navigating a different kind of relationship. Things turn into a kind of dance with dementia, and sometimes it’s awfully hard.

Helping a loved one with dementia find activities that match their interests and physical and mental abilities can be trying. Adapting old hobbies to be simpler and more immediately rewarding can help patients engage and find their "flow."

Mom desperately wants to feel better; to have some purpose in life. As her caregiver I was keen to help, but it can take a number of ideas and trials for a person to adopt a new hobby or activity, especially someone who has dementia.

Caregivers can easily get caught up in life's many demands, but exposing a dementia patient to this whirlwind of activity can be confusing and upsetting.