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Does it seem to anyone else that Forum is seeing more "Drive-by postings" from folks who seem to have crossed the line from "You can't make this stuff up" to "This has GOT to be made up."
I mean, young women entangled with multimillionaires who are forcing money on them, while the family heads in with a posse? People with an elder in the trailer out back who have questions as to whether their death by roasting temperatures would constitute charge again them?
I am sure it's me. Too much time spent here to try to even out the walking and reading and gardening and going starkers with shut in. I know just which of you will send a message telling me to take a vacation; but that's just the problem. I can't!

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Ha, you may be right. I hope you are! I see these kind of over-the-top posts and wonder, is the world really this odd? I don't know...

I do believe that back in the day college students were notorious for continually trying to get fake letters published in Dear Abby (or was it Ann Landers?). Covid has given some people a lot more time on their hands, and perhaps trolling is more fun than baking, knitting, reading a classic novel, etc.
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The posts I wonder about are the ‘what’s for dinner’ things that seem very expensive, very complicated for over-worked caregivers to make, and very fattening in an era with an obesity problem. Surely some of it can’t be true?
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Oh, Alva! I know what you mean. I think maybe we should all swear off AC for a week and see if things settle down.
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I’m definitely thinking the young woman and the millionaire was a troll. That scenario was over the top. For a *millionaire* the guy doesn’t appear too financially savvy.
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There have been a lot of posters and their stories on here over the years that have generated a lot of sympathy that I found hard to believe, who's to know? My avatar is currently the speak no evil monkey in order to remind myself to be more kind and less judgmental, as long as they aren't malicious (or morph into that) I say let them troll away (but I'm likely not going to participate).
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Okay cwillie I have to laugh at what I thought your avatar was. A blue monkey from a Canadian poster. I have thought all this time that it was a freezing monkey. On my phone it appears to have waves as though the poor critter is shivering.

Didn't mean to hijack your post Alva. I just had to address the cold monkey.

I think that this is a bit seasonal, posting usually slows in the summer and the weirdos come out of the woodwork. I have been here since 2017 and I have noticed this every year.
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ITRR- This morning a shivering monkey would be pretty accurate, cooler weather is definitely here😂
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BarbBrooklyn, I love your suggestion that we go away from AC for a few weeks. You see that shivery blue monkey? I will have delirium tremors so bad from my AC addiction that I will look just like that monkey. I will just continue to tickle the trolls. As to being kinder and less judgemental? Just not me. I always feel we are a little too UNjudgemental. If you ever go to a really good shrink they will kind of stop one in their tracks with something to really chew on, so they can progress. It is at that point that people stop going saying "This is not working". Bad shrinks let them stay and tell their tiresome story over and over and over without looking at the tired path they are treading ever deeper. I give my honest opinion. Just as I judge whether to cross the road before I do so, I judge what I see and kind of call it. I figure if you come seeking answers, someone may give you one. It may actually help. I have had a few Private messages that indicate it does. But, hee hee, MORE than a few taking me to task. I actually recently turned off the messaging thing for a while. But then the withdrawal had me a bit shakey and I turned it back on~!
Love you all.
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Snoopy love, perhaps you are right! It is bored college students writing made-up things in some cases. I remember when I was a kid we used to make phone calls asking the hardware people if they had a Sebastian Screw Set or a Finian's Funnel. In the beginning they were so sweet, trying to figure out what this thing they never heard of was. Eventually they were on to the background giggling. I was NEVER any good.
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AlvaDeer, We are all starting to feel the need to go out and have some fun. I asked my mother if she would like to take a nap one afternoon, she replied" no, I am bored", decided to take her out for a ride which solved her boredom. listening to some nice music, sitting outside on a sunny day with a good book, talking to a close relative or friend on the phone. I would love to go on vacation too. I would like to go for a hike, but afraid of the bears. Encountered one while on vacation, on our porch, I screamed and the 500lb bear took off like lightening in the opposite direction, thank goodness. I always thought I would never scream but I guess it worked out well for me.
Gee I guess I am a bit naïve, never considered some posters making up things because they are bored. I hear you Alva.
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I agree about the generous millionaire; there were just too many contradictions.   These fakers eventually slip up.  Yet they continue to ply their falsehoods, drawing attention to themselves when there are others who could really benefit from advice.

Others that irk me are those who refuse to do any basic research when suggested.   We're not here to hand out advice to people who won't at least do some leg work themselves.

I too thought CWillie's monkey was shivering, but beyond that, perhaps actually frozen, or extensively cyanotic.   Or maybe it's a new hybrid strain of a monkey.  Watch out - it may be harboring a dangerous virus!

I think also that referring new or repeat posters to existing threads would shift some of the burden from the regular posters.    Some of us have gone through the same issues over and over, and there are many threads attesting to advice already given.     Anyone who can locate a forum online can learn to use the magnifying glass on the tool bar and search for answers.

What perhaps really bothers me are the cold and callous attitudes toward parents, and sometimes family members.  It's clear that there's a lot of friction in some families; but we're not mental health professionals and can't solve two siblings fighting against each other.  I think these posts are primarily to get sympathy, not suggestions.

There are also occasional comments on parents that disturb me, comments of treating them like they're tenants, or not parents but burdens.   I know that not everyone has had the benefit of good, kind, caring parents, but I wonder if that's the case when I read about some who treats their parents as tenants, or as burdens.     These are the ones that prompt me to feel that it's time for a vacation from the forum, which is what I feel now.

On the issue of fake posters (or "socking"), I think this has been enabled by the Internet for decades, back to the late 1990s.   One of the forums I used to frequent was a legal one; I gained a lot of insight into how the big law firms operated, how attorneys in these silk stockinged and white shoe firms coped with the pressure.

I also eventually recognized that one with whom I was P'M'ing was actually a male, pretending to be a female to see how differently he might be treated, and what personal information he could gain.  That was unsettling.   It was my first real experience with a "sock puppet."

The Internet has enabled so much for so many, good and bad, and "socking" is one of the worse practices.  

Alva, thanks for creating this thread and allowing us to share our concerns.
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Alva, I’ve seen several posts over my time on AC that I’d swear are fake, just too many signs that made what they were saying too over the top to buy into. My biggest pet peeves are posters who ask for what they term desperately needed advice and then never return to let anyone know how things turned out (so perhaps the advice wasn’t so needed or wanted, or they didn’t agree with what they were told, or just couldn’t face it?) and those oft repeated questions—can I get paid for caregiving?—that just need AC to provide a FAQ section to handle.
And GA, I fully agree with you about the callousness some post toward their relatives. It’s completely understand that some caregiving becomes overwhelming, the situations people are in are too much to handle, and burnout is real. But the vitriol is awful. I try to as kindly as possible steer these people toward finding other placement before the toxicity becomes abusive for both parties.
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AlvaDeer,
Just so grateful that it is not only me thinking these same thoughts!

After my loved one has passed recently, (not my husband), I did think I was losing it. And apologies to my friends who tried to support me through negativity with a sibling. Sibling also needed support and I was burnt out.

Maybe taking a week will help. See you next Sunday?

CWillie's monkey, "Speak no evil" is blue because it is holding it's breath trying not to speak. Either that, or gasping, then holding it's breath after reading some of the things written on the threads. lol.

Daughterof1930:
What a great suggestion: A FAQ's section. Then all we need to do is refer new posters to the FAQ's!!!
Paid for caregiving elder? FAQ's.
Bladder infection? FAQ's.
Living with a millionare? See section on trolls.

I admit, isolation at home since early March has taken it's toll on me.
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Did anyone notice several days ago - possibly Thursday night (and of course I can't find it now) someone who posted a short paragraph talking a bunch of mumbo/jumbo and saying something about what this person did for them and list a phone number to call? I saw it on three different threads - it was just bizarre! I've seen the same sort of thing on you tube in the comment sections.

Ahhh, "cwillie's" monkey avatar - I thought it was a monkey "sweating" because we live in an extremely hot climate and that's what we all do here -- sweat! "cwillie" please send some of your cooler weather our way - we need it.

Margaret - I know sometimes when I post on the "what's for dinner" thread it may sound either expensive or complicated but, it's not. So like the rotisserie chicken are the ones you buy already cooked and just reheat, the pork tenderloin is already seasoned and I just put in the oven for 45 minutes, the top sirloin or New York Strips are all bought at Walmart. My husband enjoys having a nice meal sprinkled in with my fast, last minute meals. The muffins, biscuits, shortcakes and chocolate cakes are for diabetics (I'm pre-diabetic and ten pounds overweight since during the pandemic and my mom nearly dying in April we were getting takeout all the time) and is two small servings. They take ten minutes or less to make from start to finish. Even the wine I get at Walmart is the $2.50 bottles. Also, I don't have a regular job so I am able to get up early and get things prepped before I take care of things for my mom or go do a "window visit." On the days that have been extremely busy and stressful with my mom are the nights my husband goes and gets takeout. I post on the "what's for dinner" discussion thread to sometimes get away from the real "heavy" stuff just like I do with the "joke" thread, "count your blessings" thread and the "my favorite things" thread. It's for when I'm in a funk and want a creative outlet. So it may be that it sounds more expensive and complicated than it really is.

I guess I missed the "millionaire" post!
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As for disappearing threads or comments - if I find somebody spamming I make a point to search for and report all of their posts, it's more apt to get swift attention that way. I'll never understand why some things that are IMO clearly against the stated policy are left alone while others are edited or deleted 🤔


No doubt my monkey would be more recognizable if you could see her sisters on either side.
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Having to defend the monkey emoji, CWillie?

Hard to imagine other posters are not familiar with the old old adage of
Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, See No Evil.
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I agree "cwillie" - I still think it's weird that a piece of information I gave to an OP is gone along with the OP's response back - go figure!

It was interesting reading about your reason behind your avatar choice too. :)
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Most decidedly, 'we' are going nuts with the Covid-times.
I cannot bear to see what's going to happen with the monkeys!

(See No Evil).
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LOL Send.
At the time I considered a monkey with a mask but I figured that would be too controversial 😉
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Lol Cwillie!
Masks are controversial!
Maybe we should have just put our hands in front of our mouth!

(Speak No Evil).
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Nobody Gets It, I saw the post with the phone number. I saw it 2 or 3 threads. I thought it was spammer. It went away quickly.
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Send Help's appreciation comment to Daughter of 1930:

"What a great suggestion: A FAQ's section. Then all we need to do is refer new posters to the FAQ's!!!
Paid for caregiving elder? FAQ's.
Bladder infection? FAQ's.
Living with a millionare? See section on trolls."

WOW! My first big laugh out loud in days.
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Thanks "Bridger46164," - I just couldn't for the life of me remember what threads they were on to even see whether or not they were still there. I'm glad you saw it too and that it's gone!
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"Sendhelp," -

"I admit, isolation at home since early March has taken it's toll on me."


But, at least it hasn't taken a "troll" on you!
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NobodyGetsIt, You are too funny. I thought you might speak up about your food. I thought back myself and the only thing that takes me a long time is my mothers pureed food. I do make meals from scratch but I do frozen as well. I love a good sale so I shop usually on Thursday, I get the best deals then.
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Hi "earlybird,"

I'm glad you think I'm "too funny" - LOL when you looked back at yourself and you came up with your mother's pureed food!!!

Ordinarily, I wouldn't "explain" my cooking/eating/grocery spending habits but, "trolling" on the "what's for dinner?" discussion thread - really??? It's not like I'm making "gourmet" meals...so just wanted to set the record straight.
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I’ve been on here exactly one year for aging care. It can be addicting. Sometimes I get carried away and post 3 or 4 times on one thread!! It’s usually because I’m trying to get my point across 3 different ways. Oh well, I think I’m here to stay. But yeah, it is so aggravating when an OP doesn’t report back on their thread, EVER!
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Garden artist, I don’t know what you mean by sock puppets? I assume everyone on here is a woman except the obvious names like Paul, or James or if they say they are a guy. I think Karsten is a guy and I just assumed was a girl. It really doesn’t matter if I’m talking to a guy or girl but I don’t want to refer to someone as she if it was actually a guy, lol.
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Dear NobodyGetsIt:

Still, wondering what you meant by your statement: I just do not "get it". It sounded so much like a former poster would have said to me. So much like "NeedHelpWithMom"! You remind me of her:


NobodyGetsIt
5 hours ago
"Sendhelp," -

"I admit, isolation at home since early March has taken it's toll on me."


But, at least it hasn't taken a "troll" on you!
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Dear "Sendhelp,"

Oh, I'm sorry about that - I was just making a "play on words" to your last sentence in your comment addressed to "AlvaDeer." The subject of this discussion/thread was about trolls and when I saw your statement: "I admit, isolation at home since early March has taken it's toll on me," I said "...at least it hasn't taken a "troll" on you. I wasn't making fun of you - I've just always liked play on words humor. No harm meant by it.

Hope that clears it up! (I think I'm getting all confused now) :)
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