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Has anyone had a family member (over 85yrs old) do well on chemo?

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No one "does well" on chemo. It is a case of how sick you get from it.

I had chemo in my late 40s for breast cancer. Did "well" in that I never vomitted. Had rather low doses. Exhaustion, bad copper penny taste in my mouth, total loss of appetite, shin splint pain. Not much else. I would not take in now. I am 81, recent new bout of a primary breast cancer. Had a lumpectomy. Will not take radiation and chemo. Did not have nodes removed because I won't be treating. Any spread will be dealt with with palliative care and "the good drugs", unless another "removable" tumor. I would move from palliative to hospice.

The doctors agree with my decisions as does my family. My current tumor is "TNBC" or triple negative meaning that the drugs available would likely do more damage to my aging heart than anything else and may actually give me less time, not more living a quality life.

Speak with the doctor and request also a palliative care consult. Ask them to level with you in terms of damage done to someone in their 80s by the chemo itself versus what extra time it may buy.

I wish you the best. I made my decision as a reasonably well informed retired RN. Each person must make his or her own decision. If the person is in 80s and incapable of making decisions then it will be the POA/ next of kin or guardian.
Good luck.
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No 85 year-old should be on chemo for any reason. Nobody lives forever and a person who has made it to 85 and past has lived a long life. They should live out the remainder of their days in as little pain and misery as possible. No chemo. If they have dementia and someone else is deciding this for them then I think that can fall under cruel and unusual punishment.
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I have never had Chemo but have family members who have. My sister was 43 with breast cancer and passed after 8 months of aggressive chemo where she could not work. It was awful. She got treatment every 3 weeks and sick for 1 week after. Be aware thatvradiation burns the skin. Older people have very thin skin.

I would not put someone of 85 thru treatment. If a lump like Alva's. I may have removed but like her, would have no treatment. If bladder in the very early stage, that can be cured and treatment pretty easy. But if gone thru the lining I would not bother.

My Mom had Dementia. She had bladder cancer at 79 and cured. Dr did a scope every year. At 85 I had them stopped. She had been clear for 5yrs. Her decline was monthly. No more poking and prodding. At 74 I don't want to be poked and prodded. So glad I no longer need a pap smear. By the time I need a colonosopy again, I will be over 75 where they no longer recommend them.
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This is highly variable depending on the kind of cancer and the overall health of the person. I do know that there are different kinds of chemo with differing degrees of side effects, so it's not really fair comparing one to the other. I think you would be better served by asking what is involved in the type of chemo proposed - what the side effects will be, how long each treatment takes, how long between treatments etc.

And beyond that asking just how much life this treatment will buy the average 85 year old person, you need to know if a cure or long lasting remission is even possible or if the treatment is only buying a few extra month of misery.
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You asked this question yesterday:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/87-year-old-dad-and-chemo-487242.htm
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Chemo at age 62 was bad enough. I wouldn't consider it at age 67 or anything else after that.

I lost so much to chemo. Gained remission and some years and glad for that, but I already know I won't endure it again, just to exist.

I saw many people at the cancer clinic where I treated and they were on round 4, 5 or even as much as 7 separate times on chemo. Nobody seemed particularly happy about it--I know one woman told me she was doing it because her kids begged her to.
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I haven't had anyone that age have chemo, but I know Mark was 61 when he had chemo, radiation, and immunotherapy and it really was hard on him. He was tired all the time, his immune system tanked and it led to brittle bones. Mark also needed blood infusions because his red blood cells were so few, but he already had problems with low RBC.
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When I am 85, the last thing that I would be thinking about is getting chemotherapy.

Why, just why?

I suppose it is a very personal decision and the only person who can answer this question is the person who has cancer.

I wouldn’t dare suggest chemotherapy to anyone this age. My mother in law went through chemotherapy in her sixties for non Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

My MIL went into remission for five years. When her cancer returned with a vengeance, she said that she wouldn’t ever go through chemotherapy again. She died at age 68.
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It depends on 1) the type of cancer, 2) the prognosis, 3) the side effects of chemo, and most importantly, the goals of the patient. There are oral chemos now that have fewer side effects. In general, I would say that the harms of chemo outweigh the benefits in an 85-year-old, and just living their best life without side effects, blood work, and numerous MD visits is the better way to go.
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As a retired RN I would say NO, I have not seen them do well. I have seen them survive it, if that's what you ask, but seldom happily.
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It can be awkward for families to speak with their family members about their wishes.

Sometimes, the person who is sick is in denial about their circumstances. Other times, family members are in denial over how sick they really are.

This is why it is suggested that all of us make our final wishes known to others. Then, there are no surprises and no guesses about what should be done.

I can tell you that I was extremely grateful to a wonderful nurse who cared for my mother when she brought up final wishes to my mother.

Neither of my parents wanted any treatment to extend their lives when they were reaching the end of their lives.
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Does Dad want to try it?
See if he copes, feels ok. Has many good days.

However, it it is too burdonsome, he could stop.

By burdonsome, I mean pain & nausea. I would also include loss of appetite (if cannot eat, leading to weakness, falls) or if it makes him sleep all day (reducing partaking in his daily life).

It can lead to discusions about life. About quality of life over any (potential) length of life. Check in with him where his thinking is at. ❤️
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