Hi Everyone, It's' me again :-) My mom had major surgery on 10-19-10, where they did a vein bypass in her left leg due to PAD. She's been on IV Morphine and Percocet for pain for the past 6+ days, has needed the help of nurses for Everything post-op. ALL of her drs. strongely recommended she go to a Rehab for additional healing where she could get her IV antibiotics 4 x day and also a lot of PT that she REALLY needs. I've s/w the Social Worker, her doctors's, PT and OT, etc... She absolutely refused to go to a Rehab and today she's coming home from the hospital! I cannot take care of her. She has a PIC line in and nurses will have to come in daily to hang the IV meds. She'll have a walker, but will need a lot of help. I'm hoping she hasn't gotten addicted to the IV Morphine for pain. I have NO help. I'm an only child and lost everything when I had to go on Disabilty for my own declining health in 2005. I'm exhausted and very run down now.I've done everything I can to get help to come into their home to help them with everything and anything possible. My mom and s-dad blatently refuse to allow anyone Professional to come into their home. I've done everything I could to get help. I've followed any and all suggestions from others who are in my situation. I'm afraid of what may lye ahead. I live in their home, so I have no pull to 'make' them do anything or accept any help that they don't want. I've been keeping up with the cleaning, laundry, getting them groceries, etc... and hurt my back worse again yesterday while vacuuming. This entire situation is making me physically and emotionally ill. I'm lost. It helps a LOT to know I can come here where you all understand how very hard it is to be the caretaker and how un-rewarding it can be.
Bless you all and Love to you all! I thank God for all of you and hope you can find somehow to get a break from your own caretaking situation.
(((( HUGS ))))
Kathy
2. Find some low cost housing...rent a room or find a roommate & move out of that poison environment.
3. Find a temporary home for your puppy if you must during the transition.
4. Take your life back.
Thank you all once again for being here for me. You've all been my lifesavers!!! Today I Iearned that nurses won't be coming into the home to take care of my mom's IV antibiotics. The hospital she was at sent a visiting nurse from their company to show my s-dad and me how to take care of the PIC line and IV meds. My mom isn't following drs. orders at all. She continues to smoke at least a pack+ of cigarettes a day and is not keeping her legs elevated. She's wheezing terribly and her operative leg is swollen. The nurse who did come in today read her the riot act. I took my puppy and myself and went outside for a walk. I couldn't take anymore of my mom and s-dad's lying about how "my mom is doing all that she's s/p to be doing per dr. orders, etc..." It's rediculous! As I was walking, I found one of the neighborhood cats that stays around our yard, just laying against the side of the house, obviously not well. I just broke down. It was the last straw for me. This cat is my favorite cat and it broke my heart to know that he/she is sick. When I came back inside, in tears, I asked my s-dad to go to the cats owner's house up the street and tell them about their cat, and to come and take him/her home. My s-dad ignored me, which I'm used to, but then got up and took a vulgar birthday card that someone had sent to him and went to a different neighbor to show them the discusting card. While the visiting nurse was here, he was sexually inappropriate to her also. He got out all of his sexually vulgar items and one by one brought them out to show the visiting nurse. She was not impressed. I wanted to crawl under the table!!! He's been that way since I've known him, which is for the past 44 years! He's been rude, sexually inappropriate, etc... It's abusive. My mom says nothing about his behavior. Even when it was directed at me when I was younger, she never protected me. Yet here I am being the good samaritin/caretaker... I am in therapy and have been for years, trying to get well from the grossly dysfunctional childhood/teenhood, on up... My own physical pain is out of control and I have no health insurance and no money to get away for even a couple of days. I also have my dog to think about, who I love more than anything in this world! I'd never leave him alone for more than a couple of hours with my mom and/or s-dad. They can't take care of him. I'm starting to discust myself for sounding so negative. I'm not a negative person... I never used to be anyway. I'm just so overwhelmed at this point and in so much pain myself.
Thank you all for listening and for all of your love, concern and encouragement! I'd be lost w/out you all!
God Bless,
Kathy K.
The next time your head gets full of ideas that are not healthy, I would suggest dial 911 and let the ER take you in and give you a voluntary break. It may or may not serve as a wake up call to others, but you need some escape from that place.
Thank you all again!!!
Lots of Love,
Kathy