He has heart failure and had a stroke. Trying to be helpful he picked up big tray of cooked chicken out of grocery bag. But dropped it on rug before he got to kitchen. Most contents. fell on rug. He kept telling me just rince off the chicken pieces. They were baked. And warm in microwave. They will be ok to eat. But with his compromised health even though it's early stage makes me nervous.
I WISH my hubby took even the slightest interest in the running of the house. I would LOVE for him to just have the initiative to help bring in the groceries or remember the wheel the huge garbage cans out each week. He simply is NOT domestically minded. And I have to remind this guy to PLEASE carry the heavy laundry hamper down the stairs at least 3 or 4 times and I usually wind up throwing the clothes over the banister anyway.
Calm down, at least he's TRYING!! My hubs is only 65, acts 90 and is driving me insane. Plus he hasn't even retired yet and I am terrified that when he does all he is going to do is sleep. That's all he does now when he isn't working. It's all he wants to do.
You're still kind of just dealing with the small stuff. He's trying, give him credit for that! He's probably scared of getting older and weaker--men age "differently" than women.
I LOVED (hated) my hubby's comment of a few weeks ago. "Well, when I retire, you retire too. Although, you've had a real life of leisure". (5 kids, tiny house, he traveled 75% of the time, family issues, everything was on my shoulders all the time as I was NOT allowed to call him with ANY home "concerns"--he had to work.) He doesn't consider ANYTHING that I have done the past 41 years as "work". (I don't get paid) And my many PT jobs don't count b/c I was making "peanuts".
Hug your hubby, wash off the chicken and let it go.
Getting his help, waiting for his help, allowing his help, helping his unique way, is making me a nervous wreck. It may cause a heart attack!
But I would rather it be this way, together, than apart.
There are some of us who have a hubby or sig other who we wish would be as helpful, but are not :(
Has your husband been diagnosed with cognitive impairment or dementia? If you suspect that, talk to his doctors and get an evaluation.
As BarbBrooklyn says, look after your own health. Get your anxiety under control. Make sure you are healthy in other ways.
When you are caring for someone who has impairments, there are going to be accidents. That is a given. You don't have to like them, but you have to figure out a way to take them in stride, if you are to have any serenity in your life at all.
Are you afraid of germs? Of his exertion, or what?
Your anxiety has taken over. It needs to be better treated. If your psychiatrist is not taking the fact that you are crippled with anxiety, then find a different psychiatrist.
Have you been to your internist recently to have your np, thyroid, etc., checked? Get that done. Talk to your pcp in concrete terms about what is going on in your life.
You deserve relief from these symptoms!!!!!