Mom spends Tues and Thurs at a day services place that also has respite. She liked it ok for a while but doesn't like it now. For various reasons, no one could be at home with her yesterday and today, so she stayed at the respite at the same place. She didn't argue about going there to stay and helped me pack her suitcase. But when they didn't send her home on the bus yesterday and told her she was staying the night, she got very upset. Apparently she has been getting up and wanting to leave every few minutes today. On my way to pick her up now and not looking forward to her being upset. Really not looking forward to explaining that she goes back tomorrow for her "regular" Thursday. Wish me luck!
If she is still very unruly, ask her to help with something. Directing them to a useful activity usually helps! I have seen unruly attendees go from agitated, to helpful just by feeling they have a purpose.
naheaton - I'm not sure. Mom has always been a homebody, so it might be that she just doesn't want to be anywhere other than home. When we talked about it she said that she has already been in respite once and she thought she could decide not to do it again. I think she doesn't like not having a choice.
We are very lucky that we have this option. But it just breaks my heart that she gets so upset. Once I picked her up she was fine, and she went back today without complaining. I wasn't expecting that. :-)
Mia asked a great question and you are fortunate to know your Mom loves to help.
I've never left Mom anywhere overnight and rarely more than five to six hours. Usually less than five. Thus, my offering is one not based on a lengthily time away, but a wonderful concept that solved the problem that I actually lucked into.
I had been caring 24/7 for Mom for well over a year. We'd daily walk through the Mall, drive through the country, etc. In that we had a great relationship and I knew she was being well cared for, I though little of anything else.
I was talked into leaving her at a Day Care center once, just to see how it went. When I picked her up I was dumb-founded at her emotional lift. I only then realized she needed people her own age to communicate with. I resolved to take her there three afternoons a week.
The problem I had to deal with was how to tell her I was taking her to a Day Care center. SHE solved that problem by wondering when I was going to take her back to the "Women's Club" - (which had many men there, as well). So, for three plus years we went to Women's Club.
A second great aspect was that in that she has always been a caregiver, of sorts, she was always willing to help the staff with various projects. Thus, not only did she go to Women's Club, but she went to work, got her 'schedule', etc., from the staff, as well.
Perhaps some mental steering toward such things might help your Mom's continued willingness... and perhaps fond desire... to go.
Good luck...
V
My mother would ask when we had to be "at work" the next day! I told her we hadto be there at "10" or any other number that seemed to work, AND if she asked too many times muttering about how 'busy' she was, I would tell her we had the DAY OFF... so we could relax tomorrow!
Again I say... we ALL need a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning!
Looking at 'pattern books' is fun too. Sometimes the 'vintage crochet patterns will spark conversation!
Also there are knitting looms (simple, easy to do) from KNIFTY KNITTER that are fun too!
There are also 'tie' squares kits that can be made into quilts, and don't require any sewing, knitting OR crochetting! Fun too.
SO much fun.