I'm having very bad problem,my sister is killing my mother slowly and I can't help mom cause sis has power of attorney. someone help!!!!!!!! please!!!! my mom is up in her age, and has had a stroke. at first we were told she was brain dead. and the family decided to take her off of breathing machine and leave in Gods hands,my sister told doctor to put a tryke in her throat and doctor told her that if they did that she wouldn't die as fast, and that it would be a long term thing. family disapproved but she has power of attorney and had doctor do it anyway. the next day she changed her mind and told them to take machines off of her, the doctor was even upset about her choices. so they take machines off and my mom breathes on her own, so then my sister decides she wants to put her in hospice, which was done and while being there she showed improvements, she recognized all of us, she could move her arm and her legs, she is now at home with hospice still and she has had everyone in our family told by police we cannot go there again! she has taken off her feeding tube, so that in her words ( she doesn't have to clean her up ). my father is there but, he's believing everything is right. it's not, she's giving my mother morphine all the time. my moms doctor was told he wasn't needed any more. I need help! in Levittown Pa. 19057
But even with all that, she is still dying. She needs her pain meds, she doesn't need to be in pain during this dying process - if it can be avoided.
I have noticed that some of the people who care for her are in denial about her status. When they see her eat, they think she is getting better. Kind of sad.
It is wonderful that Mom regained enough cognition to recognize her family. But she is now dying. That is very sad, for all of you. She will die with or without morphine. She will die on hospice or not on hospice. She will die with or without a feeding tube. In fact, during the dying process a feeding tube or manual feeding may make things more difficult for her body. Her time is near. That is not your sister's fault.
Even on hospice care my husband was able to get out of bed. He recognized everyone. He had a hearty breakfast the day he died. But none of those things meant that he was recovering or that he could get well. He was on the final portion of his journey. He had a terminal condition and he was dying. Hospice helped ensure it was as pain-free and distress-free as possible.
Hospice has their own doctor, and generally it is that doctor who oversees the care. In our case my husband's primary physician was still available for consultation, but there was no need for consultation.
You say Mom is "home" -- is that her home? Is it your father who is with her? Is it your father who has banned you from his home? The one thing here that doesn't seem right is the banishing of other family from visits. Had the visits gotten very stressful for Mom?
It might help for you to have a talk with the hospice social worker assigned to your mother, to get a clearer idea of what hospice is all about. And perhaps she can try to intervene on your behalf to enable you to visit with your mother.
My heart goes out to you. It is hard to know that a loved one is dying.