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For 2 hours a day someone to come in give mom with mild dementia lunch, do exercises, take to bathroom & read to her. I was paying $10 an hour. I will increase to $15 starting in Sept for 4 hours a day. Is this a reasonable amount?? This is not thru an agency. The caregiver is someone I was able to connect with. Not a professional just someone looking for extra money. We live in East coast. Mom does not like this person. I am not crazy for her either but I have no choice. I have no family help am pretty new to this and very tired and overwhelmed, any advice will be very really appreciated.




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The last one I hired outside an agency was getting $18 per hour. If it was just a couple hours a day..then I had to include travel time.

the agency was charging $25 (of course) for the same exact people. The agency just hires off the street...a background check is all they do. But, the insurance company would not pay for Mom unless it was thru an agency....so the 2 gals I had went to work for that agency....I had to demand that they get paid the same $18.

$15 is cheap.
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Cindyn12345 May 2019
This person is not thru an agency. It is all I can afford.
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I'd work for that 😉, but why are you considering such a large raise (percentage wise) when you don't care for this person?
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Cindyn12345 May 2019
I can't afford thru an agency. Private workers want $20. At this point she is a body. I work only during school year. No not a teacher. Just a aide. I will raise pay because I'll lose her if I don't. I have family in area but "too busy" to help.
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This is someone you didn't get through an agency, and I am guessing you did not have the means to vet her completely. The problem is not so much the wage, which I do believe is California minimum at this point unless I am mistaken about that. The problem is that neither you nor your Mom likes (or I assume trusts) this person. If you got her on your own, perhaps get another you would both like. See what contacts you can make out there to hire another helper.
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Cindyn12345 May 2019
I have tried. This person went to same church as my Mom doesn't like her because she feels she's just here for the money. And rushes thru everything. Mom can't tell me if she even stays the full 2 hrs.
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I would be extra cautious hiring someone that you just “connected with” who is not part of an agency and perhaps has had no experience dealing with a person with dementia. Someone, in other words, who is just out to “make a buck” so to speak with no training. A person like this can tell you they’ve had decades of experience caring for their mom, grandma, husband, etc., when in truth they have no idea what they’re doing. It brings to mind a hair stylist I went to once who told me that she used to do dog grooming, so she figured she was perfectly capable of cutting human hair. Toileting someone is a nasty job and if it’s not done the right way, or at all, you’ve got a mess on your hands.

$15 an hour is not a bad wage, but depending on what the person would need to do and how cooperative your mother is, it may not be enough to compensate her.
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Cindyn12345 May 2019
She makes lunch, does exercises, reads to her and watches her in bathroom. That is all. Rest of time she is on her phone.
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Is it possible to have her call you before she leaves and let you have a word with mom?

I am a firm believer that if you are saying you are there and working for 2 hours and you leave in 1.5 hours then you are stealing.

So finding a way to ensure that she is actually working the hours she is being paid is important.

I would have a sit down talk with her and try to get a bit of understanding going on. Let her know that mom feels like she is rushing her and what can you all do to make the time more enjoyable for mom, that is what matters.

If you and mom don't particularly care for her, perhaps she feels the same way. People can feel that we don't like them and it does effect how they interact with us. Maybe try to find a way to become friendly with her and even if she doesn't deserve it right now, show and tell her how much she is appreciated.

I think 15.00 is good pay but not for sitting around on the phone. I would include activities that she can be doing when not interacting or assisting mom.
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Cindyn12345 May 2019
Thank you so much for your reply. I am going to really try now that I had someone who pointed this out to me. All replys have been great but you opened my eyes a little more. Thank you!
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I think $15 is good for an untrained person. Actually, in my area $15 is a good wage for a CNA. Last I heard, starting wage for a CNA in a hospital setting was $10 an hour.

I would consider finding someone else if Mom doesn't care for her. Do u have a nursing school near u. A jr college or technical school? There maybe students who would love a $15 an hr job.
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Cindyn12345, one thing to keep in mind, if you are hiring a caregiver that is not from an Agency, then your Mom would need to check with her home insurance carrier to see if she's to purchase "workman's comp policy" for this employee. Workman's comp is there in case the caregiver gets hurt on the job. The insurance carrier would know how many hours is a requiring point.
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Why do you not have a choice? If you are not crazy about her, and I am a private in home caregiver on the west coast, does she have Insurance, Professional caregivers ($109.00 a year), did she include a background check?

and remember in the world of correctness, if you pay her over a certain amount a year she is considered a household employee.

I am through care.com what is your zip code. you can find one there, and they should have all of that.

Let me know

I am a very big proponent of private in home pay, but if you don't like her, that is hard to understand. I understand the absolute need. There are many on here that follow the rules by the book. I am one of those, but there are the other people that consider them independent contractors, and then there are those that just pay under the table.

I would go on your computer or let me know your zip code, and I will see how many are in your area from Care.com. The problem with that is you need to pay to have access.
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