My mother is over 90, lives alone, cooks, cleans, writes checks, goes to church etc. - is "ok". In the last 6 months, she believes a crew comes in at night to work on things in the house (rearranges bricks in the fireplace, paints walls, etc.) and a woman steals her clothes, but replaces them with old ones. She wants to call the police to report it and make them stop. What should I do? (she's been tested recently for dementia by GB and neurologist and passes all the test just fine)
I asked about Ambien b/c 3 nurses have told me it caused nightmares for them. Bizarre nightmares.
But your mother is experiencing the same "vision", repeatedly, so it's not a nightmare. Is her house in need of cleaning and/or repair? Sometimes these unconscious concerns can manifest themselves in "visions" or "delusions." Beyond that, I'm puzzled.
There are others here with more experience and hopefully can help you.
As to reporting to the police, perhaps you could tell her a therapeutic fib, such as that you did contact the police for her, they're checking to determine if anyone else has had that problem and will let her know IF they are able to find the "perpetrators". Or maybe that other people have had similar problems but it seems the perpetrators are moving from city to city and it's hard to track them down.
If she asks again, or repeatedly, make a pretend private call, or call from work or away from home, then tell her that they're still trying to find the people, that they've driven by her house at night but don't see any unusual activity.
Or you might even ask the police if they have any suggestions that could comfort her w/o involving actual police involvement.
There's probably a reason that she focuses on fixing the house, replacing clothing, and cleaning. Can you think of a reason why these would be specific areas of concern?
If this isn't a UTI but something more to the affect of dementia "sundowning", then GardenArtist above had some excellent ideas.
Similar stories from her dementia journey:
- Someone was breaking into the house by entering the attic window (3 stories up), exiting the locked/barricaded attic door, getting meat out of the (locked) freezer, cooking & eating it, then washing the dishes and putting them away. The reason for the story? She couldn't find her favorite skillet - so the criminals must have put it away where she couldn't find it.
- She was a CIA/FBI/DEA agent - or all three, depending on the day. She'd claim the neighbors were drug dealers and hide behind the shrubs armed with her blue slouch hat and dark sunglasses and a huge thermos of coffee and watch them all day.
...and so many more.
I hope you can find some answers - I can't really add too many more suggestions than have already been made here, but just know that you're not alone and you can come here anytime to vent, ask questions or just talk about the situation.
I rationalized each episode ... getting older .. not busy enough but it was upsetting for both of us.
You mentioned your mom sees a neurologist... you may want to mention her stories to him /her. I mentioned in passing the stories and her vivid details to her neurologist and imagine my shock when he said he wanted to try her on Zyprexa.. I was appalled as I knew it as a medicine for psychotic/obsessive thoughts. He essentially said same part of the brain...
Long story still long... it worked .. she hasn't had obsessive thoughts or the terrible nightmares of purple monsters she was describing.
As I was sleeping here every other night back then ( 24/7 now) I knew no one was in her house but was shocked that the neurologist just nodded and said ok ... this is what to do. As a side effect ... the med is taken at bedtime and helps her mostly sleep through.
I figured might be worth a conversation with your mom's doctor ....Sorry so long but I didn't want to just say --- hey try this drug !!!!💟
In dementia, behaviors often revert to childlike ones; perhaps there's a common element with imaginative dreams.
The doctor said that Benedryl can cause hallucinations in the elderly. Talk to the doctor. Maybe something is triggering these delusions. Always check for UTI's. If Mom uses Depends, she could also have a yeast infection. A low-grade fever can also cause problems. I tend to hallucinate with a low-grade fever.
I went to the police station myself, presented my driver's license, address, phone number, e-mail address, and explained what was going on, namely, that my mother would call to say that her car had been stolen. Two months later when my mother called to tell them that her car had been stolen--by me-- they had it in their notes on the portable tablet, and knew to appease her.
They were so cool about it that they didn't even bother to tell me it had happened. I found out because my mom told me the police had been at her house. I checked at the police station and they confirmed what I have said above.
So, be active, be preemptive. It is so much easier. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You must tell her doctor if you decide to try this, but be prepared for some impatient huffing and pooh-poohing from him, smile sweetly and say "nevertheless..." Many doctors won't hear a word against statins and dismiss all complaints out of hand.
"she believes a crew comes in at night to work on things in the house (rearranges bricks in the fireplace, paints walls, etc.) and a woman steals her clothes, but replaces them with old ones."
1. If the OP's mother reports that to the police, they will mark her down as a batty old woman; and the next time she calls because she thinks she's heard a prowler outside they will be slower to respond.
2. The OP's anxieties have no rational basis, and therefore a rational assurance from even the nicest, kindest policeman will do nothing to soothe them.
In other, more general cases though I would agree with you - a home security check from your local police force is often a very good idea.
Also, the test that she was given...was it a 5-minute quiz in the office? If so, that's referred to as a 'mini-mental' and it will not reveal the very early stages of dementia. If instead, it was an imaging study and a more comprehensive evaluation, then look for other causes, but that type of hallucination sounds very much like dementia. Especially if it's more vivid upon waking. I knew a woman who swore she saw a man descending from her attic when she got up from a nap. She didn't let the fact that she lived on a middle floor of a high rise apartment building dissuade her.
Also, check a little more closely that she is truly OK in all those other areas where things appear normal. Do you have access to her finances? Make sure she's in good shape there (not piddling away her money nor falling prey to scams). And take a critical look at her. Is her hygiene up to par, clothes soiled, unexplained bruises or scratches, housekeeping sloppy? Sometimes it takes a big symptom, like hallucination, to bring into focus other symptoms.
The thing is I have had a succession of house keepers and have had many, many things stolen; a lot of jewelry, make up, clothes, purses etc. One woman who came for a year stole a very long list of things that I didn't miss for some time like boots in the summer then sandals in the winter. (I am presently furious to find that two pairs of my favorite sandals are missing). She stole important things too and threw out my wedding album. So many things, down to drill bits from my drill. If I broached the subject it was always, 'I didn't do that. You must have put it somewhere yourself'. She also sabotaged me by hiding things, throwing the contents of folders away, disrupting all my DVD's putting them in the wrong jewel cases and even putting two of them in with my library DVD's for return. Once, I watched her put something under a mat on the dresser where she thought I wouldn't be able to find it. Why I didn't say anything at the time I shall never know. I gave her many things and spent a lot of money on her as well. So this experience has left me totally paranoid.
As to the eating late and sleeping pills etc. I do eat late and take Trazadone but don't think that is a problem in my case. I am just wondering if your mother really does have a reason to be suspicious? Has anybody spent time in her home and actually interfered with her property? Just a thought. Some people are very dishonest.