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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She has not control over anything and complains that she feels horrible everyday. I have been to more ER's than I care to count and they can find nothing wrong with her except old age. How can I get her to go to assisted living?
Unless you're planning on taking her kicking and screaming to the asst. living facility, then I guess you're going to have to talk her into the benefits. What about taking her to stay overnight in the respite room that most asst. living places offer? It could be a trial run, plus give you a break. Or if that's too radical for now, how about visiting one that you really like, and have a meal there. Most of them really like the perspective resident to do that, so the person can get a feel for it. Either way, at some point you're going to have to tell mom that this is the way it's gonna be. She has GOT to move out from under your roof, or your relationship with her is doomed.
tell her as an elder the two of you can have lunch there at a greatly reduced rate. pass it off as a community subsidy due to the impact of the recession. let on like all similar facilities are providing this service. she'll either enjoy the balanced meal and maybe make an aquaintance or two or she'll tell them their food tastes like crap on a crutch. ive eaten at one of those places so dont hold it against her if she goes the crap on a crutch route. i paid 5 bucks to have dinner with mom a few times and felt like it was 4 bucks too much.. gruel im sayin..
We have done the respite thing a couple of times for a week each time, and I told my mother I just had to have some time off and she could see whether she liked it. Some portion of the time she did like it, and I think we could have sold it as a regular stay part of each month, just to keep me sane. My mother's shrink talked to us about it and said it's a matter of what's sustainable. You can drive a caregiver nuts and exhaust their energy--and it's all over--or you can try to have a sustainable arrangement at least part of the time that can work long term. If you are losing your mind, I would tell your mom that you just don't have any choice, you can't go on the same way. You can still have her come home and stay sometimes, if that makes it any easier.
That is what we were planning to do with my mother, but looks like she needs a lot more than that now.
Perhaps you can have her doctor advise her that assisted living would best meet her current needs. If she is depressed, discuss that with her MD. Older people often consider medication for depression a sign of being "crazy." My MIL tells me they put her sister in "the nut house" because she is in an Alzeimer's unit. They will not discuss their true feelings in fear. So it's easier if it is introduced just as " this will help you sleep better or ease your chronic pain." by her physician. I know several older people who function and feel much better with a very low dose of anti-anxiety medication. Talk to the MD. I think many older ones live in terror. Afraid of losing control and then afraid of dying. And both are inevitable.
We had to wait until the hospital adnitted her. We had to wait it out with our 94 yo mother. But, once she got admitted to the hospital, they sent her to rehab and then, to a nursing home and then, assisted living. We just did not volunteer to help her live at home.
She is SO much better, now. We never dreamed that she would be satisfied in AL, but she is and is on meds, an antidepressant, bathing, walking, etc. I wonder if we she was just waiting for us to make the first move.
She cannot live at home, because she cannot get out of bed, by herself.
There was a lot of paperwork to do, during this time, but we had an adult grandson do that. It went easier that way. Medicare paid at first and now, her private long term health insurance is covering everything.
Sure you can, Moonbeam. Just abandon her to the state. Call 911 next time something is wrong and refuse to pick her up. They'll make sure she goes where she needs to, and you can still see her all you like. If you weren't there, that's what would happen anyway if she can't do for herself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What does she go to ERs for?
Your profile says she is depressed. Is she being treated for that?
That is what we were planning to do with my mother, but looks like she needs a lot more than that now.
She is SO much better, now. We never dreamed that she would be satisfied in AL, but she is and is on meds, an antidepressant, bathing, walking, etc. I wonder if we she was just waiting for us to make the first move.
She cannot live at home, because she cannot get out of bed, by herself.
There was a lot of paperwork to do, during this time, but we had an adult grandson do that. It went easier that way. Medicare paid at first and now, her private long term health insurance is covering everything.