I dropped out of college after my father suffered several stokes. It has been 9 months since then and I've lost nearly all outside relationships. Due to the isolation, some days are unbearable and my frustrations can sometimes manifest into anger. How do I control these awful emotions before they completely become me?
Once my dad died I tried to get back to my own life but it was so difficult and I felt very alone. He's been gone now for over a year and I still feel out of it a lot of the time even though I now work and have the opportunity (and desire) to nurture friendships. It's difficult to maintain friendships while being a caregiver because we give so much of ourselves emotionally to the one we are caring for. There wasn't a lot leftover for friends.
I want to tell you that I hope you can get out of being a caregiver. You're too young to wonder, "What's happened to my life?" You should be in college and having fun and going on dates and building relationships. And while I know you put your school on hold for now it's going to be very easy to tell yourself that you can always go back. What if you're a caregiver for the next 6 or 7 years? At the end of that time you'll have nothing to show for it, no resume, no work experience, and you'll be faced with starting your life all over. Being a caregiver isn't something you do with your life, it's something you put your life on hold for.
Please reconsider and get out if you can.
I haven't checked out Dave's info on the young caregiver's website. The more you read and learn from others, the more you have options to deal with your situation.
Talk to your Dad's doctor about services available in your community and find the assistance he needs now. It is important that you get back into school as soon as possible, even on a part-time basis. The longer you put this off the more difficult it becomes.
Where is the rest of Dad's family in all this? There are many options out there that will allow you to continue your life and education, while your Dad is being well care for under your watchful eye. I wish you the very best. God bless!
Or if you still wish to be your Dad's caregiver for years on end, check out how to become a certified Caregiver, take the classes, and sign up with an agency.... then that way your Dad could hire you and you would get paid and have a new career. Just a thought.
Did he go to rehab after the stroke? How was the discharge plan developed? Did you participate in making this plan? We're you given information about resources in your community to help with the caregiving?
Can Dad go to adult day care while you attend school? Can you/do you work? Giving up your life at 22 to be a caregiver is not a good choice since it will leave you without financial resources for your future. Tell us some more details so we can give you some concrete advice. (((((Hugs))))))
Unless you were already disenchanted with your college course, you were very badly advised to give it up. I'm extremely sorry that your father suffered these strokes, but I imagine that he, as a good father, would be sorrier still that his illness has had this impact on your young life.
Full-time caregiving is not something you are obliged or can be compelled to do. If you were my child, or, say, my niece, I would urge you to telephone your college, speak to the student welfare office, and ask how you can retrace your steps. I would expect you to get a sympathetic hearing from them at the very least.
Could you please say a little more about how come you landed the job of 24/7 caregiving? Where's the rest of the family? But even if the rest of the family is just you and nobody else, there are still other agencies and other options for your father's care. Nobody is ever indispensable, and that goes for you too. This should not and need not be happening.