My mum is 84 and lives with my father in Ontario. She has extensive medical issues resulting in her mobility basically becoming zero. My dad has been providing excellent care, however periodically my mum has a fall and my father is simply not strong enough to help her get up - he literally has to call for paramedics to help safely stand / seat her. It would be wonderful if our family could find somebody (or a service provider) nearby who can be summoned and "pop in" to help with such instances. Another possibility is to find a live-in caretaker, but I doubt that would fly for a variety of reasons. I'm hoping others have experienced similar challenges, and could offer some advice or insight into a solution. Many thanks in advance for any advice you can provide.
It’s worth checking why the falls happen. MIL’s happened when she got out of bed in the dark at night. We reduced that problem with a touch lamp, so she could see, and wake up better before she moved. MIL also had a subscription to the ambulance service, which would simply come and pick her up.
My sister’s fall was made worse because she had no idea how to help herself get up. She is paralysed down one side, but has strength in the other side, and she can roll. She expected someone to lift her as a dead weight, straight off the floor, which was unsafe for the lifter. She could have done a lot of it herself, if she and the lifter knew what to do.
There are very good videos on the net about how to lift, usually with the help of a chair or other furniture. If the person can kneel and lean on their elbows, a chair or two can make steps, with another chair put under their bottom when they are high enough. Working out the available furniture in advance can help. Covering the person on the floor, with a pillow and a hot drink, can mean they recover from the shock of the fall, and calm down before you try anything else. They will probably have to wait for a service to arrive, so it’s a good strategy anyway.
Rails in useful places in the house can help a lot, so can mini lights on door jams to walk towards, and fluorescent tape markings on the carpet can help someone walk in the right direction. Most places have a service that can come to check the house and suggest safety improvements. Sometimes they will even pay for them!
All these suggestions of course depend on the lifter and the person in trouble. But at least in the early stages, many of the problems in finding an adequate lifter can be solved – and they may otherwise be very expensive when repeated.
I've worked in homecare a long time and have gotten many elders off the floor. I started refusing to get someone up off the floor a long time ago. If a client falls now, the EMS gets called. I have done too much damage to my body from so many years of getting people up off floors without assistive devices. Never again. I can't tell you how many elderly clients I've had beg me in tears not to call EMS and if I would "just try" to help them up. No way.
I agree with the other writers, it is so so easy for your elderly Father to injure himself trying to do this alone. Please try to convince him to stop. He’ll end up in rehab and then what will your Mother do?
Facility placement isn't the only solution that can work for an elder who needs care.
My last long-term caregiver position was for an elderly couple. The husband did all right but the wife was pretty out of it with dementia and had serious mobility issues. Their kids were not local, two of them living out of state. The husband knew I would come if he needed me to. Even if it wasn't my scheduled work hours. He didn't abuse this gift by calling me every five minutes. He understood that something like being out of ice cream wasn't an emergency. He also understood that it was going to be expensive if I had to make a special visit and he paid it without question. His wife would contantly fall while trying to use the portable commode. She'd tip it over and she would end up on the floor with the contents of the commode all over her, the carpeting, and the furniture. After a couple of weeks of daily falls and getting an emergency call while on my other job, I insisted that the commode get put away and the wife go into diapers. She of course got stubborn and refused so I told them both straight. I wasn't going to get her up off the floor again. I wasn't going to clean piss and sh*t out of the carpeting and off the furniture anymore. She went into diapers after that. I remained with them through the husband's illness and death being his caregiver as well as his wife's. Until the family replaced me with cheaper help. The poor old lady what a shame that neglect was.
Anyway, my point being that homecare could be the answer to the poster's mother and the falling. A live-in caregiver may work for them. Paying someone nearby who will come when needed is also a possibility. If they make it worth someone's while, they'll find someone to help when they need it.
What I always did was to call the paramedics (EMS) in my city and tell them that I need what is called a 'lift assist' for a client because they'd fallen.
I'm sure if your father has to call the paramedics and explains that it's not an emergency and he needs a 'lift assist' with your mother, they will not have a problem with it.
What might work for your parents' situation is to hire an aide or two who will work at different times of the day as fall prevention rather than to get her back up.
You say that your mother's mobility is basically zero. Is she in a wheelchair? The most likely times for a fall will be during the AM care of getting her up and dressed and into her wheelchair. Toileting times (if she still uses a toilet), and PM care when she's getting ready for bed and being transfered.
I would advertise for private aide care who will come for two hours in the AM and two hours in the PM. Or less if your father doesn't want that much.
If a Hoyer Lift is in the room, they would be able to use that if they were there at the time, as long as she was not injured.
Neighbors will never help. 1. They don't want to risk their backs, and their future health in lifting. 2. They don't want the liability. 3. They don't want to be that involved in a neighbor's life.
If a family member is not there to lift - the only option is Emergency Services. Usually the Fire Dept. Usually there's no charge. Where we live it's a $175 charge, not covered by any insurance. Check with your local FD in advance.
I'd expect paramedics receive several calls like this for every call that requires an ambulance and/or emergency treatment.
If these falls and calls happen every day that's a problem, but if it's just once-in-a-while this seems a good solution.
Your mom needs to be thoroughly checked especially in light of her many medical issues. She could easily fracture a bone and need transport to hospital.
No one will take the responsibility or risk hurting themselves lifting her.
W00dmann, I hope you've read your father the Riot Act about not attempting to lift her? But there are techniques you can look up online for using verbal prompts and (e.g.) items of furniture to help a person get up by herself with minimal physical support.
Try Googling "falls responders" for your parents' local area and see if that sheds any light. And do they have an alarm system - a lifeline pendant, anything like that?
Whether or not to call the paramedics should be considered every time, but there are many instances when it really isn't necessary: the classic is when the person has simply slipped forward from sitting on the front edge of her armchair and is stuck on the floor. Time consuming and frustrating! - but not dangerous.
Once this became too hard, too frequent & frankly, just too much, others were required. By that I mean regular aides & EMS for every fall.
This involving 'non-family' is a major hurdle for many I suspect. (Like it is ok to break the backs of people you are related to but not *strangers*....!?) Eventually, after many threats (& much time on the floor) non-family became more involved. These are now so familiar, they are certainly more friends than strangers 😃.
However, having an aide or caretaker 'on-call' will not work.
What CAN work is an aide visit a few times a week for high fall risk activities eg bathing.
Plus those home OT/PT assessments. Having the right grab rails & equipment can really help. So can practical advice on transfers for your Dad.
Mom neds to be checked out with each fall for injuries.
Old people fall, no matter where they are.
Has your parents' home been vetted by an OT or PT for safety?
I just don't get what her problem was. I can only assume it had something to do with the covid hospital crunch. The hospital was quite full. In fact, they couldn't accept her at any of the closer hospitals and they sent her to one an hour away.