We are supplementing her diet with ensure plus. We are cutting up her food and feeding her small bites of favorites like salzbury steak and mac n cheese. We give her sweet things like apple sauce and strawberry flavored electrolytes. As well as cookies and desserts. We have started feeding her 5 small meals each day and two snacks. She sees her doctor about every 12 weeks.
When is it time for us to start a feeding tube? What percent of weight loss is an indication of needing a feeding tube. Her advance directive indicates no aggressive means of life support. Does this include feeding tubes?
Mom became difficult- spitting out food and fighting. We tried 1 small bite at a time (Instead of many small meals). The whole day and evening was small bites, continuous attempts, fighting, spitting. Many different foods, textures, temperatures. I felt like I would surely lose it.
This process lasted 3 or four days. It was very frustrating snd seemed hopeless.
Then, out of the blue, she started eating again. Loving food and life. It was a special miracle that gave us more time together.
I’m so sorry you are going through this and hope you have good results. Keep trying. Hang in there.
She is so lucky to have you.
Everyone is different but may I suggest your friend Google Roadback Foundation this was my first step back from h*ll.
The second thing was to cease eating vegetables in the Nightshade family.
Very best of luck.
The fact you are asking a question regarding the use of a feeding tube indicates you never discussed this with your mom. As my mom's son and full-time caregiver for a number of years, I made it a point to speak with her about important issues like this (In her case, she made it clear: no heroic measures, including feeding tubes). As I noted in another post, at the end of each year, mom and I would go over her important documents: Will, POA, Health Care Proxy, Life Insurance, and Obituary, to discuss any changes (I was her POA, Health Care Proxy, and Executor). I would then prepare a sheet with the date we did so, and we both would sign it. The last time was right after Christmas 2021.
She passed away in January at age 93. I had brought her to the hospital the day before because she was acting out of the ordinary. Staff diagnosed a UTI and decided to keep her overnight. Early the next morning, I got a call stating her condition had suddenly deteriorated. I arrived to find her unconscious and on oxygen. I was in shock, as I truly expected I would be bringing her home that day. I quickly realized that was not going to happen, and when the ER Dr. came in to discuss the situation, I was ready to respond. She finished the journey to the sunset of her life at peace, and I was so glad I was there with her. It was also easier as I knew exactly what she wanted for her funeral, and I had all the required papers ready when it came time to close the estate.
It is crucial for caregivers to discuss end of life matters with their loved ones, providing piece of mind for both parties.
Was that what she meant when she made hers ?
i would suggest giving her only what she enjoys if she will eat them.
this sounds weird but give her whatever would give her … and you … good memories.
When the body begins to shut down the need for food and eventually fluids diminishes then is gone.
To place a feeding tube when the body is not going to process the food or calories can cause many problems.
Contact the Hospice of your choice they will help mom and you through this difficult time. The goal of Hospice is to keep the patient comfortable and pain free.
Feeding tubes are an aggressive means of support.
I know this is difficult to watch.
Please know that your mom does not feel hunger as you or I would.
Not eating does not cause her pain or discomfort. (to feed her might)
She should be fed only what she willingly will accept.
Your mother's doctor can send a swallow specialist out to the house and give suggestions.
We found the swallow specialist very, very helpful.
My mother is now at late stage alzheimers. We are making her pureed foods.
My ex boyfriend's Dad had alzheimers at a very young age. He was in his 60's and could not talk, walk, or stand. When he would not swallow the family put him on feeding tubes. I had no idea what that meant until he was hooked up. Basically the patient is in bed and tethered to pump that pumps nutrition into the body. The whole process takes 12 hours over night each night. I have no idea
why the family subjected their Dad and husband to this.
my Mrs. Had this issue too. She chose not to starve herself to death.
I don’t know how much activity your mom gets but I know my Mrs. was transferred from her bed to the living room chair to watch TV all day basically, and then transferred back to bed. Not much activity. Not much appetite and no need for normal amounts of food. so in this sense I compassionately say - relax.
I would do things like put cream cheese in the mashed potatoes. Or make an omelette with her favorite jelly and cream cheese. & Lots of ice cream. Fortunately she didn’t have a lot of dietary restrictions I was lucky. Her husband did. But we worked around it.
Good luck dear and no feeding tubes yet!
I urge you to educate yourselves on the dying process. A good source of information is this easy-to-read book:
https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Natural-Passage-Denys-Cope/dp/0978750659
Let your mother indicate when and how much she wants to eat. Never force food on her.
to be honest, part of the problem is for us to stop thinking they need three full meals a day with so very little activity. You’re gonna cause an overweight problem and then that’s gonna be hell on your body to care for them. Maintain. 😊
One of the hardest hurdles for families to overcome is accepting that their loved one no longer wants nor indeed needs food and eating.
Reading this was very helpful. My husband had become lethargic and wouldn't eat. We had been trying to force him to eat and he ended up with pneumonia (probably due to aspiration). We now believe he was lethargic due to meds building up in his body. We are lucky because he has bounced back from it and is back to his "normal". If he gets to the point again where he doesn't want to eat, we will not force him unless there is a medical reason for him not eating.
Call your mom's doctor for a hospice referral and to ask his/her opinion if now is the right time for such an evaluation. Hospice will bring in a hospital bed for mom, all the supplies she needs, and it's all billed to Medicare. You'll get help bathing her and she'll get medication to keep her comfortable as well. I had hospice services for both of my parents and they were phenomenal. Neither parent had any pain or suffering at the end of their lives, and for that I am forever grateful.
This is a difficult time for you as well, and my heart goes out to you. I watched my own mother decline with dementia for years; the last year was very difficult. She too dramatically cut down her food consumption and went from a very hearty eater to someone who pushed the food around on her plate. She even turned down cookies which was a shocking thing to witness. I watched her go from a vibrant, full of piss-and-vinegar woman to a mere ghost of who she once was. I was grateful when God called her Home, truthfully. It was finally the end of her misery and mine too, watching her decline on a daily basis. Please be sure to look after yourself during this stressful time, too. Wishing you the best of luck.
Feeding Tubes for People with Alzheimer’s
When you need them—and when you don’t
https://www.choosingwisely.org/patient-resources/feeding-tubes-for-people-with-alzheimers/