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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Yes, my mother is very hard of hearing. I brought up the issue of wearing a hearing aid and she was so angry that I never asked her again. I find it annoying to repeat a question several times. When I speak louder she gets angry at me for yelling. It is difficult to have any conversation with her. I have to use short sentences and ask her if she heard me. She will nod that she did, but I am not certain and ask her to repeat what I said and then the truth comes out that she didn't hear me. It is very frustrating. Between my mother and my husband, who is also hard of hearing, I just want to give up. I don't have a solution to your situation because it is so hard when someone does not want to help themselves with their care. I did use a white board to write questions, but my mother also has trouble seeing so that didn't work out. Best of luck to you.
My Mom's hearing is bad, even WITH hearing aids. But, that is NOWHERE NEAR as frustrating to me as Dad's "selective hearing". I used to think Mom was an awful, screechy, mean person for yelling at him all the time. But, now I realize that is truly the ONLY way to get his attention. I can be the only person in the room and there is NO other noise, but I'll ask him a simple question "Dad, are you ready for lunch?" and will get no answer. Then it's "Dad....are you ready for lunch?" and then, "Hello? Dad, are you there?" and then "DAD!! and he'll finally say "what?" then I have to repeat the question again two more times. Sometimes, when it's a statement, instead of a question, like "Dad, we're leaving for your doctor appt in an hour", he'll say "ok" , but 15 min before it's time to leave, I'll find him sitting in front of the tv or asleep, and he hasn't gotten dressed or shaved yet. grrrr........ I'm certain he has some form of ADD because his hearing has been tested and retested by the experts and by me. When he's "tuned in", he can hear me from another room, or with the noise of traffic in a car when I'm in the front while he's in the back of the car. He's much more likely to hear conversations about him than those directed TO him. And he's more likely to "hear" men of high authority/status, or beautiful women giving him attention and flattering him. Mom rarely says anything to him anymore; I think she just gave up. It's enormously aggravating.
I'm fairly positive my 90 yo dad hears what he wants to hear. He always has to have things repeated and we got him wireless headphones for his TV. He wants everything repeated and I have gotten to when he says "what?" to what I say, I just say back...."you heard me!" And most of the time he did and I don't have to repeat it.
That's a tough one - my dad was VERY hard of hearing from decades of working in manufacturing plants in the days before hearing protection was a thing. He never did go and get a hearing aid, preferring to keep the TV up load, and say "eh?" to everything that was said. His parents went stone deaf in their later years as well, so part of it was probably hereditary, but the factory work didn't help. We tried and tried to get him to get a hearing aid, but I think it was a pride thing. He just wouldn't do it.
Thanks everyone! I am so glad i signed up! These are things I only want to talk about with others going thru the same thing. @Rosyday Thanks. My husband has hearing loss. last year he was fitted with hearing aids. I see such a difference! I know my Mom is missing alot
I am 63 and noticing a decline in my own hearing. I plan to have it tested soon. If I need an aide I will wear one. It takes time to adjust to one. Our parents seemed to want instant and perfect results. I am learning from my mother what NOT to do. My mother would not use a cane when she became very unsteady. She would not go to PT or do it at home. Now she's in wheelchair. Some people must use a wheelchair, but mom gave up on walking in her 60s. It was easier...for her. Not for my Dad r for me. When I started having problems, I used a cane. Still do on occasion but regular workouts have increased my balance and strength. No one will be taking care of me so I have to face reality. I notice the most active people at mom's AL have no children. Sorry for the rant. I'm having a hard time right now and I shouldn't hijack a post. But I did.
My mom wore a hearing aid for years. Went AL and she lost it. Got her a new one and may have worn it. When she moved over to the SNF I wasn’t present for the move. When I went to get the rest of her things out of her AL apartment, I found the original lost hearing aid.it had been under her recliner. Later on couldn’t find the new hearing aids. Well about one year later we’re in her room and she’s going through stuff in her nightstand..and I open a round container and there were her hearing aids. I told the nurse and she doesn’t want to wear them. It makes conversation really impossible..
My mother's hearing is getting worse and worse. I am chided that she can hear fine if someone looks directly at her and doesn't mumble. I am so tired of repeating everything. So I'm just saying less and less to her. I've read that hearing loss can exacerbate cognitive decline, and so can lack of socialization. The only time my mother gets out of her condo is if I drive her somewhere. So she's accelerating her cognitive decline two ways.
But that's her choice, as she refuses to look into hearing aids and refuses to live in AL where she would have so much more socialization.
My MIL refuses to wear hearing aids, though she’s had several. It’s sad seeing her constantly missing out on conversation, and it’s beyond frustrating to try to communicate with her. I fully get how you feel, hope your mom will accept some help before she loses all touch with family and friends
Mbbatt, I've been down that road with my own Mom, and here she wore hearing aides. The problem was every time either Mom or Dad saw an ad on TV for the newest and greatest hearing aide, Mom wanted to try it out. We ran from hearing aid place to hearing aide place.
It was annoying because my Mom's ear doctor told her a couple years ago there wasn't anything more that can be done as her hearing couldn't be fixed. Mom was pretty much "what does he/she know?" about doctors that would say that, being Mom was in her 90's.... [sigh]
I couldn't even write out for Mom what I wanted to communicate with her, because she was now legally blind. We also did the run around with eye doctors and eye glasses.
You are not alone, my Mom refuses to get her hearing checked. I have to speak loudly. I have to be looking directly at her sometimes for her to understand me. Sometimes I feel so bad talking so loudly sometimes feels as if I am yelling at her. I am working on her, hopefully she will go one day. Patience.
Absolutely. My mother has refused to use a hearing aide. I've been pleading for years. Her own sister sold hearing aides!. It got worse and worse. I speak in short sentences. Write some things. Obviously, quality conversion is out. She can't make friends in AL or play cards or go to music sessions or movie night or lectures or church service. Her quality of life has suffered more than I can say. Now she is desperate to hear, but it is too late. Audiologist explained that not only is her loss profound, but she has lost the capacity to process language. Untreated hearing loss also is a risk factor for dementia.
Sometimes I get frustrated with my grandmother's untreated hearing loss; it's sad to see her missing so much of experiences and conversations going on around her. I've learned to be patient and to do what I can to help, she is much better if she can read lips so I make sure I don't speak to her until we make eye contact.
If your mom is dead-set on not getting treatment then there isn't much you can do besides be as patient as you can. Don't feel too bad about being frustrated though, it can be annoying when someone refuses to accept something so obvious.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm certain he has some form of ADD because his hearing has been tested and retested by the experts and by me. When he's "tuned in", he can hear me from another room, or with the noise of traffic in a car when I'm in the front while he's in the back of the car. He's much more likely to hear conversations about him than those directed TO him. And he's more likely to "hear" men of high authority/status, or beautiful women giving him attention and flattering him.
Mom rarely says anything to him anymore; I think she just gave up.
It's enormously aggravating.
We tried and tried to get him to get a hearing aid, but I think it was a pride thing. He just wouldn't do it.
But that's her choice, as she refuses to look into hearing aids and refuses to live in AL where she would have so much more socialization.
It was annoying because my Mom's ear doctor told her a couple years ago there wasn't anything more that can be done as her hearing couldn't be fixed. Mom was pretty much "what does he/she know?" about doctors that would say that, being Mom was in her 90's.... [sigh]
I couldn't even write out for Mom what I wanted to communicate with her, because she was now legally blind. We also did the run around with eye doctors and eye glasses.
Patience.
If your mom is dead-set on not getting treatment then there isn't much you can do besides be as patient as you can. Don't feel too bad about being frustrated though, it can be annoying when someone refuses to accept something so obvious.