I am a caregiver, once a week, for a very sweet lady with dementia and no short- or long-term memory.
Her youngest daughter and her husband are very dismissive of my client, and have removed most of her possessions from her home (including creative materials like yarns, quilting machines, dyes, etc.) When they visit (always very briefly), they are rude and frequently yell at her or ridicule her. Her granddaughters (the youngest daughter's children) live like pigs in the basement for free. They're purportedly doing her laundry, but I've only seen my client in dirty clothes.
When either of the grandchildren come upstairs, they are very rude and terse with their grandmother.
The client's part of the house is filthy and I've been doing my best to remedy that. I'm not sure what other caregivers are doing, but it's certainly not housecleaning.
I recently met my client's oldest daughter, who believes that the youngest daughter is stealing money from my client: using her credit card to pay for expensive dinners and trips. They store their trailer and a few cars on her property, and have filled three sheds and a large barn with their property.
The oldest daughter also says the other family members punish my client and ridicule her for wetting her Depends.
I have told the oldest daughter (she and the youngest are co-trustees) that she needs to gather objective evidence of elder abuse, not just repeat what her mother tells her. I have been keeping very careful notes to help the older daughter with this. What are things I should look for and record/take pictures of to help her present a claim of abuse?
From what you have described Neglect is also a valid reason to report the situation.
Contact APS or your States Elder Abuse Hotline and they will follow up with investigations.
As a Caregiver you are a mandated reporter of abuse and neglect.
when you make the call you can remain anonymous and or you can let them know the "best time" to visit and that would be when you or another concerned caregiver is going to be present.
It is commendable that you want to protect your elderly client. Do you work for an agency? If so, you should talk with your supervisor about the older daughter's request for you to play spy.
When you say "look for", I have an image of you rummaging through the house looking for evidence of financial abuse. If that's what you mean, then it's a big NO. You should not do that.
If you mean evidence about verbal abuse, you're an eye witness. If you want to discretely record incidents of verbal abuse, you can use your phone. If the younger daughter knows you're after her, she might fire you.
I think it's best the older daughter call APS and reports elder abuse. Then let them investigate.