My grandma was contacted and is being investigated by adult services for financial abuse. Her bank is claiming me and my mother have misused her bank account. I have told them a portion of the money is what my grandmother loaned me for some custody legal fees for my daughter and I am paying her back with my tax return. They are still being pushy and continuing the investigation. They've gotten my grandma to revoke POA from my mother by getting her confused. She has early stage Alzheimer's but is still able to drive and care for herself everyday.
Getting that now would look suspicious, so Grandma needs to go into her bank and at least sign the banks paperwork that allows you access to her account and then-you can only do limited things.
I attend to my Mom's financial things but at her bequest and I have gotten to know most of the people at her bank quite well but there are still some legal documents that need her attention that only she can do, and this is because she refuses to give me DPOA.
Good luck.
Two months later the bank manager calls my husband. MIL had applied on-line for a HELOC & she was concerned. Hubby was concerned as well but legally couldn’t do anything, plus his mother hadn’t said a word to him about it. He knew deep down what his sisters were trying to do. Bank manager insisted MIL come in alone or with my husband and/or lawyer to discuss the loan application. She made it very clear to MIL those were the only ones who could be present. I guess they go thru this enough. MIL went alone and made a huge scene that it’s her money, blah blah blah. Bank manager calmed her down by saying they would submit the application but weren’t sure if it would be approved, as she didn’t have the income to pay it but they would try. Loan was denied. Bank manager kept my husband up to date throughout the whole process, MIL hasn’t said a word & that was 2 years ago.
Hubby has never looked at the accounts he has access to; heck, he doesn’t even look at our accounts. 😒
Word of warning: if your grandmother stays alive long enough to need long-term care and she will need assistance to pay for it -- meaning Medicaid, before she is given that assistance, Medicaid will demand to see every transaction that has occurred in her bank account over an EXTENDED amount -- they could go back 5 years. It can be an ugly audit of accounts and your grandmother could be denied assistance for these financial "gifts" (mishaps?).
The best you and your mother can do for your grandmother is to not touch her bank accounts and don't ask for money from her. It's harsh, I know, but that is truly the best action to take at this point.
You need to talk with an attorney.
Of course, if the fault is on the other driver, an attorney is wise to protect one's rights.
If she does have mild dementia, I would advise OP to have Grandma hire an attorney to fight for the her and the family. Assuming the transaction was as innocent as described.
That the bank in their due diligence reported that after Mum had POA on Gma's accounts, an unusually large sum was removed from Gma's account, is a good thing.
OP should be hiring her low lawyer to help her. To have Gma's funds used to hire a lawyer to defend OP is once again misuse of her funds and digging a bigger hole.
The County can take you to Court and appoint a conservator (expensive -- and your grandma pays).
As she is still driving with Alzheimer's, the Courty can also appoint a guardian to stop her and to make sure she is cared for.
GET AN ATTORNEY.
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys
https://www.naela.org/findlawyer
<naela@naela.org>
NAELA Council of Advanced Practitioners
1577 Spring Hill Rd., Suite 310
Vienna, VA 22182
703-942-5711
<naela@naela.org>
As POA your mother is responsible for making wise decisions that are in your grandmothers best interest. Loaning you money is not in your grandmothers best interest.
Would it not have been better (hindsight) to borrow from mom and pay her back? Can you do that now, to get them off your back? Another option is often credit cards offer balance transfers, many with a low fee (go for the ones that give you time, no interest and just a fee - I have done this to help my daughter, she transfers money to me to pay the monthly amounts. Typically they charge 3-5% upfront and no interest, while some have no fee no interest.) Waiting for the tax return, assuming what you get will be enough to cover the entire loan, could take some time. (BTW, grandma has plenty in her trust fund, but I would NEVER take anything from there to help my daughter out, even if "grandma" approved! I really don't even take anything other than occasionally gas money for managing everything for her - finances, medical care, meds and OTC needs, even though I have POA - EC atty, when I said POA does not say I can take money for doing all this, replied it doesn't say I can't, but personally I would not consider it! I could certainly use a "loan" to get my house repairs finished and pay it back when my funds are available, but I will NOT.)
There are also concerns about her driving. You say "She has early stage Alzheimer's but is still able to drive and care for herself everyday." The problems here are 1) if she gets into an accident, insurance could deny payment(s) and 2) there is no way to determine the timeline of any kind of dementia - some progress faster than others, and there are NO warning signs when the next "stage" will be. While our mother was in early stage, she was "able" to care for herself, but there were many things she wasn't able to do and she lived alone, so we couldn't see the full impact. When she reported a flat tire and I found it split from the rim to the ground, metal around wheel well bent half off, consult with YB and we worked on taking it away before she hurt/killed herself or someone else. Around that time (needed to take her grocery shopping is when I realized she was not cooking anymore, relying on boxed crap and frozen dinners. So, although someone "appears" able to drive and care for themselves, appearances can be deceptive! I would seriously consider getting her off the road.
Her money used for her. Think about that why would anyone agree to being a POA for an ALZ LO?
The way to do a legal loan when a POA is involved is to have it in writing, minimal interest rate IS to be paid, and the loan is to start being repaid in 30 days. Per our elder care attorney here in GA. That also stands up to Medicaid scrutiny.
You still there? I know some of the responses may have been difficult to hear, but this is a touchy subject for a lot of members; and it is absolutely black-and-white (except when it isn't). I think a great thing about this forum is that people can learn from other people's successes or failures, so I would love to hear more details on what's going on.
Several years ago I loaned my Son-n-Law some money, It was done on paper with a payment schedule written in and I charged him minimal interest. He didn't finish paying me back. I still have the paperwork and will never loan him another dime. If he asks why, I still have that paper work to show him.
You know the old picture of a baby sitting on a potty with the words, "No job is finished until the paperwork is done".