Earlier, I explained that I grumble and complain sometimes when it comes to tending to my elder's needs. Sometimes, my other relative notices this and reprimands me for that. I am one of the few caregivers with autism, and the disorder really makes me even more prone to screaming whenever I have to meet my elder's demands.
Sometimes, I compare my attitude to Caillou, the TV cartoon character. I compare my emotions to his in the first season. I heard that most people detest the show because of that. I do too, but when it comes to meeting the grinding demands of my elder, I can't help but relate to him.
Well, I already adjusted my bedtime, and it helped me lots since.
I'm hoping to get a part-time job (I work on a network marketing business, but I have to just to get some more insight and experience by doing just that and I'm unemployed) so I can at least pay for respite care (or at least have relatives stay over at my house for a few days as I take a break from the madness I as a caregiver face). One of the Catholic churches I attended a few times as a child near my house has a caregiver group, and am planning to join it.
But for now, I just joined HappyRambles - here's hoping that it would reframe anger. I bet that it's one of the things that would transition me from giving my elder a "Caillou attitude" to expressing gratitude.
Does anyone out there keep a gratitude journal, online or notebook? How does it help you cope with the daily grind of caregiving?
You are Priceless, capnhardass! I am grateful for all the times you make us laugh throughout any given day!! WhooHoo!! xo:)))
Every now and then I'd go over the dozens of entries, and I realized I was stuck in a time warp like Bill Murray in that movie Groundhog Day. Sometimes the days would be carbon copies of each other.
I an attempt to become a martyr perhaps, I conditioned myself to believe the sacrifices I was making were a labor of love; and as a [recovering] Catholic I accepted my lot as if divinely ordained. ... That didn't last very long.
There's no cookie-cutter formula for caregiving, so I can only speak for myself. Hundreds of caregivers out there enjoy what they do; others do it out of duty. For many, the unconditional love towards their parents overrides their existential angst. And every now and then someone, in search of validation, tries to play Mother Teresa but doesn't quite cut it.
I, however, am blessed to have a huge family that -- when they'not trying to pass the buck -- at least make an effort to share the responsibility.
i used to love sitting down and writing but now with computers; so i am going to begin a blog of gratitude...it's easier to write on the computer at least for me.
or a simple word doc where you type in on a daily basis what you are grateful for..
Most people can benefit from keeping a gratitude journal of some type or just a list of what is "wrong" in your life and what you are grateful for. I commend you for what you are doing to try to cope.
Carol