Just curious - am I permitted to ask a health care worker NOT to tell mom I’m asking questions or discussing her care? Or are they required to tell mom that I am asking questions? Mom was admitted only about five days ago into skilled nursing. Any time I ask mom a question to her directly - about anything - she gets on the offensive and thinks I am overstepping my bounds. I am only trying to help her or trying to figure out what is going on. She shows signs of memory loss - can I ask for a mental health assessment and they won’t tell mom?
On a good day before mom had health issues, she was a difficult person and mom was always extremely private with everything. She lives several states away.
But more important, than HIPAA is the physician's own belief system, I would ask them point blank -- "I want to tell you about some health issues mom is having, I'd prefer if you did not disclose that you received this information from me, Do you have a problem with that?
On memory loss, it is very common for people, of all ages especially the elderly, to become disoriented when hospitalized or with a change in living location. Without asking specifically about mom you could ask staff of they see this disorientation and confusion often.
Remember that you can give them any information that you want. The facility is not prohibited from listening to your concerns, they just cannot give you information unless mom has signed a HIPPA release.
If Mom specifically asks if you've been in contact with them, they may feel obligated (or even be required) to answer her question honestly. The best thing to do is call the facility and see if this is the case.
BTW, a mental health assessment is usually a part of the admissions process, especially for those in their great old age. It may already have been done, and if you are authorized to participate in care conferences, they should share the result with you during a conference.
You are not listed on her HIPPA form
You can mention to the doctor, or the nurse that is assigned to her that you have noticed some cognitive changes over the past few months. (or however long it has been. If she has a PCP that she has been seeing you can send them a note via the Patient Portal as well.)
I really like MsRandall's suggestion to ask them before you ask your question that they not tell mom you are disclosing this information and if they have a problem then do not bring up your concerns.
You might contact her Dr and tell him of your concerns.
But, her business is her business.
They want to plan for a safe discharge and that will involve family if she cannot go home safely alone. You need to decide now what part you will play in her future care. I would go ahead and ask all the questions you need to know to make those decisions. Go ahead and call social services or speak to the head nurse. Tell them your concerns and don’t worry about what they will tell her. My mother was also “private” and “difficult” because she was hiding her dementia and the horrible condition of her apartment.
All the staff can say is “no I cannot share any information.” But if you strongly feel she has memory loss and is at risk for being discharged back home, it’s good to speak up now on her behalf. I know how stressful this can be and I also worried about the wrath of my mother when I first stepped in. But she needed an advocate and it can be like stepping into a fire ant pile! Be brave! And keep us posted.
Who helped her sign in to the facility? Their name is likely on the paperwork and would be able to get information more freely. Get that person to ask the questions.
If if you have been excluded from asking questions, you can always contact the doctor with examples of things causing you concern and possibility of a mental health assessment. He may not call you and talk about it, but he has more info to determine what treatments he sets up for her.
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