My Dad has acute glaucoma. Need help to care give for him. Any advice?

Hi Maryan. I am so sorry to hear of your situation, and I can certainly relate to it. My husband, who is 19 years older than I, has Glaucoma in both eyes. By the time we saw the dr, we discovered that he only has 5% of vision in the left eye and maybe 35% in other and cataracts in both. He is 87 years old. The doctor was willing to try the surgery on the left eye because my husband wanted it so badly. As you know, the vision destroyed by Glaucoma will never return. My husband's passion is reading and using the computer. They had him prepped for surgery and ready to take to the surgical suite when the doctor and the anesthesiologist told us that his heart condition was already in the stroke or heart attack range. We didn't even know he had a heart condition! Obviously, the surgery was cancelled. Now he has had some more life-threatening problems with his urinary track. We see the cardiologist today to find out if he is going to be able to withstand the procedure the urologist wants to do. It would require anesthesia also. If the cardiologist says he is not up to it, he has no choice but to let nature take its course. I have read on this wonderful site that some seniors have chosen not to have the procedure; because, even if they had severe problems that required chemo or radiology, they wouldn't accept the treatment. So, all of that to let you know you are not alone. If your father's doctors advise against surgery, it would be wise to take their advice. If you father is able to make his own decisions and he insists on the surgery, though, I would honor his wishes. I was so worried about my husband's condition that every time I left his presence, I would burst out crying. Then, I recalled my dad's lung cancer. I think he would have chosen to live and let nature take its course. My mom and I, being selfish and wanting to keep him as long as possible, influenced him to have the surgery. I would never try to influence anyone of anything again. As long as a person is capable of making their own decisions, they should have control over what is or isn't done to them. My father never regained his quality of life, and we watched him slowly die for nine years. So, I told my husband that a great weight had been taken off my shoulders, that I was no longer going to worry about things and that I would support him no matter what his decision. As for what to do now, I have moved all of the furniture and throw rugs in the areas where my husband walks out of his way. I have put a portable commode beside his bed so that he doesn't have to get up and walk during the night. There are special forks (sporks) made for people who have trouble eating. If you dad can see enough to feed himself, get him one of them to make it easier for him to eat. Let him be as independent as he possibly can. Take him for drives and let him get some fresh air. Make sure he has access to the kind of music he likes. Ask him what you can do for him. Maybe it would be a challenge and keep him occupied to learn braille? I am sure there are support groups where he can learn from others who are visually impaired. Contact the Council on Aging and the state organization for the blind. There is an abundance of things to make his life more comfortable. The Council on Aging can put you in touch with people who are willing to help with errands and with sitting with your dad while you have some time to yourself. Talk to his doctor about the situation. He can refer you to a social worker in the hospital who will know the sources of aid available to you. I have gone through similar situations with my mom and dad, and my most important advice to you is for you and your husband to take care of yourselves! It is so easy to let the stress and fatigue make you not want to eat, exercise, and get enough rest. Don't let that happen. If you become ill, you won't be there for your dad. I almost had to be hospitalized during my mom's illness, from stress. It can take a toll on you mind, emotions, and body. I am bracing myself for the decisions my husband makes after we see the cardiologist today. No matter what the decision, things are going to be difficult. I have to be strong for him. In the meantime, his eye surgery was scheduled for September 10. If they do this other procedure on September 3, he most likely is going to have to give up on eye surgery. I know how frustrated your dad, your husband, and you must be. There is help and support if you contact the doctor and organizations that can help you. I don't know if anything I have said has helped you. I wasn't sure what kind of advice you were looking for. I hope I have encouraged you to reach out and get some help with your dad and to take care of yourself. Stay in touch with people on this website. There is a wealth of information from people who know much more than I do. In the search box, you may want to look under Glaucoma. There are some articles and questions there that echo your question. Take care, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Bless you for being such a devoted daughter. You will never regret it.

Get him to an opthamologist right away. If he's a vet make an appt with the VA near you; despite the bad press the VA has wonderful facilities. They can diagnose the pressure in his eyes now and prescribe drops that help relieve the pressure, and will stabilize the eyesight that he has. Glaucoma runs in my family. Both parents (94 & 91) have it; both get daily drops and both can still see. My dad reads every day! But don't hesitate--time is of the essence!

There are diffrent forms of surgery for this. Maybe there is one that would be easier on him. But your insurance may not pay for it,unless you make a formal appeal. The optic nerve can recover from one degree to another, or it may be too late.

Thank you all for answers and suggestions. My dad is at the point of no return for his eyes and he has written off all eye doctors. He has 5 different drops for his glaucoma which he insists on administering himself. He occasionally uses the drops. There is no amount of pleading that will get him to change his ways. It does not end well when I have tried that route. Everyone has given great help to me to keep on and be as ready as I can for what may be next.

My mom was diagnosed with glaucoma, macular degeneration in her left eye and cataracts too. She barely sees out of her left eye. SHe quit seeing the eye doctor 6 years ago and so when we moved her up to live with us, I made her go. that's when we found out how and it was. She has eye drops as well. And she is also very ornery about taking care or going to doc.... I feel for you. We have her in an assisted living place now. They give her drops and watch out for her. I simply could not keep doing it. I wish you luck and know how you feel. It's frustrating but it is their life. They get to choose...

Get him to nearest state school for the blind! Training is free, and very helpful!!! It's free while he lives there, too! Just do it!

Contact your local agency for the blind or search Blind Association with your location zipcode. Search box is at the top right of the page.