Dad, 91 years old, had numerous accidents at his home and moved him in with us after the last fall resulted in a hospital stay. We have Home Health private duty coming in daily and actually he has now progressed to walking using a walker and able to toilet himself. Of course, now he is relentless in the request to go back home and it is not safe for him to do so. His home is 300 miles from us so we cannot take care of him there. Just need some help in dealing with his constant request and today stating he wanted to die. Thanks for any advice.
If your dad has blinders on and refuses to speak of anything else, be very kind but excuse yourself from the conversation. Think of a reason to leave the room.
The point of all this is to get your dad to:
1) Accept the situation,
2) Show him that these conversations will never go anywhere.
Also, I am wondering if an anti-depressant medication might prove helpful for your dad. The elderly do suffer from depression, so you may want to speak to his doctor about this. It cannot be easy to relinquish our ability to make decisions for ourselves, and I would imagine it can be a definite blow to our self esteem.
You might also try:
* Telling your dad that YOU need HIM. Tell him all the reasons why his being there is helping YOU. This may help him, as he will feel needed again, as he was needed by you when you were a child.
* If your dad has anything at his former home that he is doing without since he moved in, maybe you could bring this into your home. Familiar things will help him to know that he belongs with you.
These are just a few suggestions, but I hope something in here helps. And by the way, YOU ARE AWESOME for bringing your dad into your home as you have!!! Not everyone will do something like this, as it means self-sacrificing in many areas. It takes a very unique and wonderful person to do what you're doing, and I want to commend you and THANK you for being that person!! It isn't easy, and at times it is overwhelming and you want to beat your head into a wall, but trust me when I say that it is so worth it. Make sure to be gentle with yourself and don't neglect yourself.
(((HUGS)))
I agree with angel 19 your fabulous. I thank you for your humanity, and kindness. Take care of yourself, ask for help. God bless you