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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I found that a CNA was the answer my mom refused showers every time always with an excuse, she might fall she was afraid the CNA would go into labor while she was in the shower, she had a headache, panic attack ext. We just pushed for sponge baths instead it seemed the only way to get her to bath. She stayed comfortable and in her space rather then pushing her to shower. Depending on your dad's insurance you could look into a CNA to help. They get a lot of fighting in their line of work and they know what to say and how to handle a "smelly" situation :)
Love, in addition to the issues Sunnygirl raises, there could also be the fact that older people get cold easier, especially when they've disrobed for a full shower. And there's the modesty issue. Another could be that the individual isn't ready to accept that he or she can't bathe himself or herself w/o assistance. That's a major loss of self reliance and independence.
If you don't have an appropriate transfer bench, method of keeping the person warm ALL the time before, during and after the shower, try something less traumatic. Use no rinse soaps and shampoos. Complete disrobing isn't necessary; the person can be washed up while sitting in a chair, comfortable and warm, and revealing only a limited portion of skin at a time.
Hospitals and care facilities have addressed these issues for year.
And make it a pleasant event with music, perhaps a treat afterwards...something to look forward to and remember instead of something traumatic to be dreaded and resisted.
There have been a lot of questions on this subject. Some of the posts from these searches might be of help:
Whatever the reason for the refusal, you can't change that; you can only change the circumstances of keeping clean, while respecting this person's feelings, comfort and privacy.
What is the person's ailment? Are they restricted with their mobility? Depressed or suffer from cognitive decline? I think the approach may depend on the reason for their resistance. Resistance to care is not unusual for people who have dementia. Often, the caretakers go through various methods to see what works. Sometimes, it's making the bath time more calm, warm, and pleasant. Other times, having a bath aid come in works. I'm sure you'll get some more suggestions here too.
When I had this issue with my Dad...I just told him that he smelled really bad, and I would not be taking him out anywhere if he didn't shower and change clothes.
I am sure he didn't believe he smelled bad (sense of smell was gone for the last years of his life), but he really wanted to go out to Walmart...so he had no choice.
Interesting study was done about 10 years ago. They found that the loss of the sense of smell is nearly a 100% predictor of death within 5 years. Regardless of age, medical condition, ethnicity. That study was being expanded to include larger population groups and long terms. The original study was a random selection of 100 people ... when they went to do the follow up 5 years later...they found all of their study group had passed away.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you don't have an appropriate transfer bench, method of keeping the person warm ALL the time before, during and after the shower, try something less traumatic. Use no rinse soaps and shampoos. Complete disrobing isn't necessary; the person can be washed up while sitting in a chair, comfortable and warm, and revealing only a limited portion of skin at a time.
Hospitals and care facilities have addressed these issues for year.
And make it a pleasant event with music, perhaps a treat afterwards...something to look forward to and remember instead of something traumatic to be dreaded and resisted.
There have been a lot of questions on this subject. Some of the posts from these searches might be of help:
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=alternatives+to+showers
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=no+shower+alternatives
Whatever the reason for the refusal, you can't change that; you can only change the circumstances of keeping clean, while respecting this person's feelings, comfort and privacy.
I am sure he didn't believe he smelled bad (sense of smell was gone for the last years of his life), but he really wanted to go out to Walmart...so he had no choice.
Interesting study was done about 10 years ago. They found that the loss of the sense of smell is nearly a 100% predictor of death within 5 years. Regardless of age, medical condition, ethnicity. That study was being expanded to include larger population groups and long terms. The original study was a random selection of 100 people ... when they went to do the follow up 5 years later...they found all of their study group had passed away.