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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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My aunt with dementia eats best when I eat with her. I just make the food. Serve the plates and ask her to eat with me. If I ask her if she has eaten she usually says she doesn't remember. Once she gets started she seems to have a good appetite. I assume it would be different for more advanced dementia.
I would make the meal anyway and hope to tempt her appetite. Worst that can happen is that you end up throwing it away.
If she's actively refusing food that you've placed in front of her... Well, it's bound to be a worry, but you shouldn't attempt to force her to eat. Whether her excuse that she's already eaten is the dementia talking or is just an excuse, either way she doesn't want to eat. Loss of appetite isn't so surprising in a person who is largely immobile and inactive. Try again with a small, nourishing, flavoursome snack a little while later and see if it tempts her.
I don't think this applies in your particular case, but in certain forms of dementia there is also a loss of "initiation." Initiation is the signal from the brain that starts off a process, such as lifting one's hand to pick up a piece of food and eat it. In that case, though, the person will say "yes, that looks lovely, thank you" and then... do literally nothing. Not eat, not even play around with the food. What you should do in that case is start her/him off - hand her the sandwich, or the fork or spoon, place her hand on the handle of the cup, whatever the person would naturally do to begin eating or drinking.
I'm not sure what stage your loved one is in, but, my loved one used to go without eating a lot. She would say she wasn't hungry, she'd already eaten, save it for later, etc. She would eat hardly anything and lost a lot of weight.
She would eat just a few things. If you can figure out which few things she night like, it might help. It might not be the most nutritious, but.......under the circumstances, we just do the best we can. My cousin would only eat a chicken leg, chips, ice cream, banana, mashed potatoes....I think that's it. But, sometimes, she wouldn't eat at all. In AL, she would refuse to go to the dining room.
Later on she went on medication for depression and anxiety. Once that began to work, her appetite picked up and now she has a great appetite and likes just about anything.
I would discuss it with her doctor and see if she is depressed or anxious. Having dementia can make you that way based on what I have seen.
Many elderly people will say they're not hungry if asked what they'd like to eat. Asking, "What would you like to eat?" is a pretty broad question for someone with dementia to answer. Your loved one may not remember eating anything.
Instead of asking what they'd like to eat give them two choices and let them pick which sounds better to them.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If she's actively refusing food that you've placed in front of her... Well, it's bound to be a worry, but you shouldn't attempt to force her to eat. Whether her excuse that she's already eaten is the dementia talking or is just an excuse, either way she doesn't want to eat. Loss of appetite isn't so surprising in a person who is largely immobile and inactive. Try again with a small, nourishing, flavoursome snack a little while later and see if it tempts her.
I don't think this applies in your particular case, but in certain forms of dementia there is also a loss of "initiation." Initiation is the signal from the brain that starts off a process, such as lifting one's hand to pick up a piece of food and eat it. In that case, though, the person will say "yes, that looks lovely, thank you" and then... do literally nothing. Not eat, not even play around with the food. What you should do in that case is start her/him off - hand her the sandwich, or the fork or spoon, place her hand on the handle of the cup, whatever the person would naturally do to begin eating or drinking.
She would eat just a few things. If you can figure out which few things she night like, it might help. It might not be the most nutritious, but.......under the circumstances, we just do the best we can. My cousin would only eat a chicken leg, chips, ice cream, banana, mashed potatoes....I think that's it. But, sometimes, she wouldn't eat at all. In AL, she would refuse to go to the dining room.
Later on she went on medication for depression and anxiety. Once that began to work, her appetite picked up and now she has a great appetite and likes just about anything.
I would discuss it with her doctor and see if she is depressed or anxious. Having dementia can make you that way based on what I have seen.
Instead of asking what they'd like to eat give them two choices and let them pick which sounds better to them.