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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Er, you're not wrong. But you might be setting yourself up to fail.
You can tell your siblings correctly that your mother will benefit from their attention and their company, even if - and it sounds as though they're telling themselves "oh, she won't know who we are, it's a waste of time visiting her" - she is losing orientation in time, and no longer seems sure of who is who. She'll still know, somewhere in her mind, that these are people who love her and care about her. She'll still benefit. She'll still get stimulation from their visits, which will enrich her quality of life.
So by all means *encourage* them to go, and create opportunities ("let's have lunch, then pop in to see mother," that kind of thing) and suggest dates. But do it cheerfully, and let them make their free choice, and above all do not feel responsible for them. What they choose to do and whether or not they come to regret their choices, are not your problem.
thank u all for ur info!!! I am sooo excited that someone heard me. I have 2 sisters & a brother who has been her favorite 'mommas boy' for over 50 yrs. there r 11 grandkids also. most of em live far away but my siblings live insane area as where Mom is. I know its very hard for em to c mom like this but i feel like i am 'Mom' now & I have to tell em to go c her now, 1 day she won't b here & they will? not 4 give themselves 4 not spending every second I can with her. Am I wrong? I don't try to get em to c her for their sakes but even more so Mom can c them & 4 her to b HAPPY & she deserves ANYTHING she WANTS
I think different kinds of dementia include different kinds of memory issues, and even two people with the same kind of dementia don't experience it the same way.
In Alzheimer's I think people do regress to periods in their past. They think they are a young parent or a school child. That is not at all common in Lewy Body Dementia. My husband (LBD) would talk about his childhood but it was always as a memory, not as if he were living it. My mother (dementia type unknown) couldn't remember her past. "Did you churn butter when you were a child?" "Well, I suppose we did. Everyone did back then, you know." She didn't remember being a mother of young children, but she loved hearing stories about that time.
I went to a meeting of caregivers of persons with Lewy Body Dementia tonight, and the question of "How long will my loved one recognize me?" came up. No one had experience of their loved one not recognizing them -- even those caregivers whose loved one had died. But losing the ability to recognize familiar people happens a lot in other kinds of dementia.
You'll just have to judge for yourself what your loved one is experiencing when talking about the past. And wait and see if they stop recognizing you.
There just is no one size fits all answers about dementia.
My mother has dementia and talks about her young days a lot. She is still in the present, but she puts on a little girl-like voice when she is talking. It is kind of strange, like being out of phase. I would like to listen, but I have to admit that my mother's childhood was about the most boring thing I've ever heard. She tells many of the same stories over again, so I can almost say them word for word. There's no harm in it, though. I just find myself getting a bit irritable after a while.
Very interesting question. It is common for an older person to talk about their youth, one doesn't need to have dementia for the person to do that. It's just enjoyable memories for them, when they were young and free.
As for when this happens for dementia patients, I think they actually feel like they are back to the physical age to which they are talking about. Sometimes they get confused where they are and will be scared about their surroundings, not recognizing their own home. It's also like a person has amnesia regarding current time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can tell your siblings correctly that your mother will benefit from their attention and their company, even if - and it sounds as though they're telling themselves "oh, she won't know who we are, it's a waste of time visiting her" - she is losing orientation in time, and no longer seems sure of who is who. She'll still know, somewhere in her mind, that these are people who love her and care about her. She'll still benefit. She'll still get stimulation from their visits, which will enrich her quality of life.
So by all means *encourage* them to go, and create opportunities ("let's have lunch, then pop in to see mother," that kind of thing) and suggest dates. But do it cheerfully, and let them make their free choice, and above all do not feel responsible for them. What they choose to do and whether or not they come to regret their choices, are not your problem.
there r 11 grandkids also. most of em live far away but my siblings live insane area as where Mom is.
I know its very hard for em to c mom like this but i feel like i am 'Mom' now & I have to tell em to go c her now, 1 day she won't b here & they will? not 4 give themselves 4 not spending every second I can with her.
Am I wrong? I don't try to get em to c her for their sakes but even more so Mom can c them & 4 her to b HAPPY & she deserves ANYTHING she WANTS
In Alzheimer's I think people do regress to periods in their past. They think they are a young parent or a school child. That is not at all common in Lewy Body Dementia. My husband (LBD) would talk about his childhood but it was always as a memory, not as if he were living it. My mother (dementia type unknown) couldn't remember her past. "Did you churn butter when you were a child?" "Well, I suppose we did. Everyone did back then, you know." She didn't remember being a mother of young children, but she loved hearing stories about that time.
I went to a meeting of caregivers of persons with Lewy Body Dementia tonight, and the question of "How long will my loved one recognize me?" came up. No one had experience of their loved one not recognizing them -- even those caregivers whose loved one had died. But losing the ability to recognize familiar people happens a lot in other kinds of dementia.
You'll just have to judge for yourself what your loved one is experiencing when talking about the past. And wait and see if they stop recognizing you.
There just is no one size fits all answers about dementia.
As for when this happens for dementia patients, I think they actually feel like they are back to the physical age to which they are talking about. Sometimes they get confused where they are and will be scared about their surroundings, not recognizing their own home. It's also like a person has amnesia regarding current time.