I've posted here before about my husband's fecal incontinence. I took him to a gastroenterologist, but didn't get any practical advice. The doctor suggested Metamucil or something with banana flakes. He has very soft (but not watery) stool and never seems to know in advance. It usually happens in the middle of the night. He is stage5-6 dementia.
Here's what I need to know: When is best to give him Pepto Bismol or Metamucil so that he's more likely to have a bowel movement during the day instead oF night? Before meals? Mid-afternoon? First thing in the morning?
Any other practical advice gratefully accepted!
I don't know what time of day is ideal to achieve your objectives, but I agree with other posters that he probably doesn't have any kind of control, but you can try getting his body to adjust to a routine that works out better for you.
Here is how I modify my husband's bowel movements; it's all about the water, or liquid intake. Especially if you are using a fiber supplement. My husband does not have a daily bowel movement, it is usually about every third day. I mark it on a calendar so I know how long it's been, and if he hasn't passed stool for a couple days, I increase his water intake. In your case, I suppose you could decrease the water for a day, in an attempt to prevent him from having a bowel movement, then increase his liquid in the morning, hoping to stimulate a bowel movement during the day. This could backfire if he becomes too constipated. You could give a little Magnesium Citrate, with his doctor's supervision, which is fast acting and will stimulate a bowel movement. Once you've gotten him on a regular schedule, the body will typically follow that schedule.
I try and manage my husband's bowel movements by making modifications to his diet rather than relying on medications which counteract one another. Those can get tricky to get it just right.
Trough trial and error I have discovered some foods (or specific ingredients in foods) which create a loose stool, and avoid them unless he has been constipated. Doctor's recommendations for diarrhea is the BRAT diet;
Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast.
I hope you find a solution soon! I hope the "cloggo" works!
As for moving him into care, as long as I'm physically able, I'll care for him at home, with some outside help. I'm much more fit than he is. If I had children, or outside interests, it would be a different story. But reading and gardening (when the weather is nice) are my only interests. I'm making adjustments, and learning how to deal with things as they crop up, but I'm mostly happy and glad to be with him. We've been married for 56 years and I can't imagine life without him.
Metamucil will not reliably trigger a bowel movement at a particular hour. Psyllium absorbs water and firms/bulks loose stool gradually; its effect generally takes one to three days, so consistent daily timing matters more than the exact hour.
But I agree with funkygrandma59, that in the end it may just be his broken brain at work and it won't be easily controlled. I'm sorry you have to endure this. May you have success and peace in your heart on this journey.
Of course you can have him sit on the toilet everytime after he eats for a bit but there's no guarantee that that will help.
It reminds me when my late husband(who had dementia) had aspiration pneumonia and almost died. The neurologist in the ER told me that because my husband had dementia that his brain was no longer telling his throat to close when he was eating or drinking thus allowing both to go directly into his lungs.
The same could be said for your husband. His brain is no longer letting him know when he has to poop thus allowing it to just come out whenever.
Often incontinence of either kind will be the straw that breaks the camels back, so if it's getting to be too much for you now, it may be time to look into getting your husband placed in a memory care facility where he'll be looked after 24/7 and changed when needed and you can get back to just being his loving wife.
Don't forget that you matter too in this equation.
Giving it to him in the morning is most common but dividing the dosage into 3X before meals is also recommended, psyllium is simply fiber and an attempt to help solidify his stool. I wouldn't use the pepto at all unless he was having explosive wet diarrhea.
I'd also try to give him time on the toilet after breakfast in an attempt to normalize his bowel habits.
I would go for something I would call “cloggo” myself, not an over-the-counter “nice to try”. If you don’t want to switch doctors, I would ask the trained pharmacologist at the chemist shop for their recommendation.