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I don't know the answer to your question. From what I have read on the stages of dementia, eventually, that will happen. It happened to my LO pretty early in her dementia. She doesn't even know when she's going now. She is in MC and I am not aware of anyone in her unit is not incontinent. It is stressful. Are you providing all the caregiving? If so, that's a tough thing to do alone. Can you get some help?
My husband never forgot about using the toilet. It was more a matter of the signal getting from his bladder to his brain in time to get to the toilet. He remembered about using the toilet even on hospice. He had a bedside commode.
I don't think my mother ever "forgot" about using the toilet either. It might have been easier on everyone if she'd just go in her depends, because it was a two-person job to transfer her from the wheelchair to the toilet, but that went on to the very end.
In dementia, incontinence is not always about "forgetting" -- though I imagine it often is.
Right now, my husband can still use the toilet for number 2 and half of time for number 1. He is at home and uses Depend. But I cringe about the day number 2 shoe will one drop.
BarbBrooklyn - yes, he is home now. He goes to adult day care during the day while I am at work. A caregiver gets him up and ready in the morning and drives him to the care center and picks him up in the afternoon before I get home. He can still do a lot of things himself but many of the personal things that we all do for ourselves are slowly escaping him, such as taking a shower and remembering to wash his hands after using the toilet.
The article BarbBrooklyn sent is great. My husband has aphasia, so it is difficult for him to find words to say anything. But i sometimes wonder how much he actually forgets. For example, if I asked him to tell me my name, he could not say it. But if I gave him 4 names and one of them was mine, he would pick the right one. Same go with seasons and cities. Is that memory loss or problem with memory recall? Dunno.
Most of us are creatures of habit when it comes to out bowels and tend to go at the same time every day, so one secret to cleaning up fewer messes is to figure out his normal routine and get him on the toilet at those times.
With regard to your husband's aphasia: my mom had that too, and it was quite confounding to try to figure out what was memory loss and what was inability to get out words. Frankly, I wouldn't "quiz" him as I imagine he's frustrated enough!
With regard to Dementia and memory skills, the thing I like to remember is that Dementia is more about cognitive loss and less about memory for a lot of people. It's about not being able to sequence the order in which things need to get done --my mom would try to put on her outerclothes first, rather than underwear, for example.
Saying a word (your name, a country) on its own as opposed to picking from a list? Which is easier, an essay question or a multiple choice question?
That is a good article BB referred you to. Those stages apply only to Alzheimer's Dementia. AD accounts for more than half of all dementia cases (~60%) but that leaves a lot of dementia cases that don't follow this pattern.
Neither my mother nor my husband had Alzheimer's. Their symptoms did not follow the 7 stages identified for AD.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don't think my mother ever "forgot" about using the toilet either. It might have been easier on everyone if she'd just go in her depends, because it was a two-person job to transfer her from the wheelchair to the toilet, but that went on to the very end.
In dementia, incontinence is not always about "forgetting" -- though I imagine it often is.
The above is a link to a helpful Agingcare article about the stages of dementia and what to expect.
Worried, do I recall that you recently brought your husband home from Assisted Living? Do you have help coming in to assist?
With regard to Dementia and memory skills, the thing I like to remember is that Dementia is more about cognitive loss and less about memory for a lot of people. It's about not being able to sequence the order in which things need to get done --my mom would try to put on her outerclothes first, rather than underwear, for example.
Saying a word (your name, a country) on its own as opposed to picking from a list? Which is easier, an essay question or a multiple choice question?
Neither my mother nor my husband had Alzheimer's. Their symptoms did not follow the 7 stages identified for AD.