Over 2 years ago I let my Aunt (Mom's sister) move in with us because she was in a bad situation. My Mom and Aunt were always very close and the best of friends. They would talk about 3 times a day.
Later on I let my 2nd cousin move in (my Aunt's grandson) because he had no place to go. I ended up evicting him (he was abusive to me). His grandmother (my Aunt) said if he's leaving then she's leaving with him and she did.
My 2nd cousin (my Aunt's grandson) blocked her cellphone from calling my Mom). Since my Aunt moved out a year ago she has not called my Mom and it bothers me because my Mom brings up her sister all the time.
My 2nd cousin is causing all of this. They live about 10 minutes away from us. Of course my cousin is angry with me because I evicted him (and forced him to grow up).
Do I let go or is there anything I can do? I just feel so bad for my Mom.
If your cousin responds badly, you'll need a 3rd party to explain to him that his preventing communication between the two sisters is isolation, which is abuse. You can probably facilitate the communication best by keeping the lowest possible profile. I expect your cousin is still sore. Being in the wrong doesn't generally make people less cross about anything.
I learned from another far-away cousin that the reason my 2nd cousin is blocking calls (this is what she said anyway) was that my Aunt left her cat with me because where they moved to didn't accept animals and the cat died and my 2nd cousin doesn't want his Grandmother (my Aunt) to know for fear it will destroy her which doesn't make sense to me. The cat was 18 years old when my Aunt moved out.
I said to my far-away cousin that if my Aunt loved the cat so much she could have stayed here but she abandoned her cat to go live with her grandson (who is 30).
My Mom's dementia is progressing so I don't know how much she really cares anymore. She does bring up my Aunt at least once a week so she must care. My Aunt turned 94 today and my Mom is 95.
I just feel bad for my Mom that after all these years of being so close that this is the way it's going to end before they both pass away.
I know it's abuse on my cousin's part but after evicting him I'm not going to report him.
Thanks!
What a way to end a relationship before they both pass away and all because of my rotten cousin.
Jenna
Best wishes to you, Mom, and Auntie.
Do what you feel you must. If you see, that your speaking to them is not helpful, back off. It will only annoy them further if you push. Trust me, I learned this the hard way. I would not repeat my mistake, if I could get a do over. I tried. I didn’t succeed. That’s that. Life is a crap shoot. We don’t always win with the chances we take. When we lose, we cut our losses and move on. We grieve. We grow. We learn.
There are ups and downs in life. The ‘downs’ in our lives hurt. We learn to appreciate the ‘ups’ a whole lot! Cherish what is joyful in your life. You have no control over some areas. Don’t allow those areas to choke out your joy. Take time to lick your wounds. Take time to grieve any losses, but don’t waste precious time by getting stuck. See a therapist if you need help sorting through your emotions. Therapy helped me tremendously.
Best wishes to you and your family.
They were all living together (one huge dysfunctional family) until my Aunt ran out of money. Then my 1st cousin (the daughter) got married to her 2nd husband and my Aunt and my 2nd cousin hated him. Currently my 1st cousin is separated from her husband and is planning on moving to another state and taking her mother with her.
It's one big soap opera and it's best if I stay away from them. I did try to help because I felt bad for my Aunt (who I was always close to) and didn't know my 2nd cousin very well (I knew him as a baby) until I let him move in with me too. He's another abuser which I didn't know.
Again, best to stay away from all of them as they are all poison.
The reason I posted is because I felt bad for my Mom that after being so close to her sister there has been no more contact. It hurts me whenever my Mom brings up her sister and wonders why her sister doesn't call her. Who knows how much time my Mom has left? Sad.