Do you prefer a social worker as your therapist? Or a psychologist? Help.

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Do you prefer a social worker as your therapist? Or a psychologist? Help.

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I'm at the place where I'd like a therapist now, but afraid to go. (Feel a general distrust for them). May I ask about your experiences? Also, isn't it possible that any therapist could be a crazy bast#ard himself? Sorry...may be going off the "deep end"...(as dad would say). The more details the better...hate to be nosey...but info helps me feel less anxious. I'm sorry that I can't answer every responder this time ...lots of fatigue lately too. Uuggh. Thanks in advance tho.

Care Decisions Care Team Mental Health

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So, here are the gritty details.

Suidical and depressed after kid number 2 was born, I ended up in the office a well-trained female psychiatrist who got me from point A (wanting to kill myself and my babies) to a bit more stable. She was a lovely person and probably could have helped me if I'd stuck with her, but I just couldn't relate or relax. Being able to relax in therapy is huge.
She got me on course to lose some weight and to finish my undergrad degree.

After kid 3, teaching preschool and dreadfully unhappy in marriage and life, DH and I sought out a therapist. Greenwich Village, nice guy, had a bad back; he lay on the couch while we talked. He tossed my DH out after 3 sessions and kept me in individual therapy. DH assumed this was because I was the "sick" one. In reality, it was because DH has/had a personality disorder that can't be fixed. It was in this course of therapy that I realized that I needed to go to grad school.

So score one for this guy.

Fast forward; beginning of grad school and a real life crisis that I won't go into but I was yet again at the point of self destruction. My OB-GYN got me a referral to a therapist of the sort I said I would NEVER see--an older, NY Psychoanalytic Institute trained Jewish (I'm Jewish) guy 20 years older than I. After a couple of weeks of antagonizing him, we clicked over the fact that we were both accomplished amateur musicians. There was a shorthand that we had in music that made the therapy easier.

It's not so much about the discipline as it is about the relationship. That takes some time to develop. Go see someone. Talk about why what THEY are doing isn't working.

Resistance is a big part of the process.

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Thanks barb:) but I will not 'relate' to anyone right now... Just want to discuss practical daily living things & how to adapt to my disappointments. (Sort of like a friend would do for me, but mine have died over the last few years).

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I think that if you have had therapy a few times you may already have a whole lot of the tools you need to self help. IE the platitudes of "And what are you doing for yourSELF" and "What plans are you making for yourself that sound like things you will enjoy" and "What are some things you could do to talk to yourself when these anxious thoughts intrude " and so on and so on.
Anxiety once virtually ruled my life. It manifested as panic and the "where's the bathroom" drill, making me afraid to move out and on with life. I would say after two therapists and a lot of years of life I simply got SICK of it. I was in a grocery store one day, cart full, and it hit and I got the usual feeling of draining dread, thought "I have to leave I have to leave I have to leave or I will pass out and soil myself" and suddenly I thought "Leave AGAIN???? Come back and regather all the stuff AGAIN??" And I thought, "Nope. I am staying. If I collapse and soil myself I will say "sorry. Panic attack". '
After that it began to let go a bit. I won't say that personalities such as ours, which buy into fight or flight, won't melt down periodically. We WILL. It's life for us.
Therapists are so individual. I know one who told my friend "You will be in therapy all your life" and I said "what that says to me is that you are one very sick individual or HE is one bad therapist."
For me I need one without platitudes I think, one who will make me think, make me work, disturb me, stop my stirring things in the same direction endlessly. I think social workers are great for life change stuff. Dealing with birth and death and caregiving and illness. Psychologists better for more out of the box stuff perhaps but wow, do they ever vary. Usually one meeting will let you know if this person might be right for you. I don't do magical thinking and the "why not try lavender oil" school of thought. I do well with someone who says "OK, you have been doing this some time. Here's an exercise I want you to try next time you have this...." Or says "OK, I heard that story. I don't want to hear about your Mom (husband, son....whomever) again for a while. I want to hear about YOU". Yes, it makes one uncomfortable. Makes one work. For me that is good. For someone else it might be devastating.
So it's like flavors of ice cream. Try a few and see who you like best. Try to know when someone just isn't for you versus when you hit that "I am scared and I want to cut and run again" thing.
Good luck. All this said, not sure there is a right or good answer.
You are grieving. Yours is a grief with complications. And sometimes there is NOTHING to be done but time. I hope help helps.

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Alva, thanks, (it does sounds like me, lol). I have little patience for: positive affirmation, or self-care blah blah... Cuz I already do it. I'm not much disturbed by mother passing, but found out this week that I'll prob not work again. That was the last straw.

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I prob should have given better details... Not so upset about mother passing,...but suddenly not being able to work anymore, having no friends (cuz they died), & now worsening CKD. So,... more like another 'perfect sh*t$torm',... (story of my life).

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Just wondering out loud...there is a very down to earth therapeutic ideology called Reality Therapy based on the work of William Glasser. They have a place where professionals get extra training/classes etc. You might be able to find a resource if you google around to find someone in your area who thinks along those lines. You have a lot on your plate you are adjusting to; I'm guessing having someone to go through it with might help.

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I have gone to both at different times in my life for varying reasons. I think it entirely depends on the individual and just as important is how you relate or connect with them.

Wishing you all the best in your journey to find help. I hope that you find peace in your life.

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My preference is a licensed clinical social worker for they have the best of both worlds of being a social worker and being a clinical psychologist.

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I don't know what area you are in...but to be a social worker is one license, and to be a clinical psychologist is another with different, though possibly overlying, training. A clinical social worker would have to have the separate training/licensure...

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I am a big proponent of therapists. Social workers, heaven bless their stressed and heavily burdened lives, are not usually trained to deal with psychological issues. They have a lot of experience with all kinds of situations, they want to help, and they can give good advice; but if you need counseling because you feel that you are paying a psychological toll, then I say go to a therapist.
You might find one right away that you can work with, or you might have to find the right fit.
I had a wonderful therapist. I saw him,my DH, and several people to whom I referred him. I'm stronger, wiser, no longer a doormat, but not afraid to be compassionate.

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There are different levels of training and education for social workers and some are cast...or cast themselves...in different roles. Some do have additional training and supervision hours to be able to deal with more psychological issues.

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Thanks ink, notry, & NH... It sounds like it takes patience, to find the right therapist. But I have high copayments, & doubt I cud waste hundreds trying different ones. (Hell, I don't even have cable tv, lol). Joking aside, it may be that I will have to seek out another intern, who wud be very cheap, or look for group setting.

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It would equally be a waste of money to continue with someone you didn't feel comfortable with. Think of it as an investment:-) in your most valuable asset: yourself!

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I saw a psychologist for many years. She literally saved my life. (She would still be my therapist if she hadn't retired a few years ago.) I think the relationship is key. Good luck.

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Yes, the right therapist can help change the direction of your life.

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I been to LCSW's, psychiatrists and psychologists. I still see my psychiatrist twice a year for med maintenance---and he usually throws in an extra 45 minutes of 'talk therapy' as he really does not want me on psychotropic drugs my whole life--but still sees the need for them. I've seen him for 23 years!

4 or 5 therapists over the last 25 years. Finally landed on a lovely, mid-30's LCSW who clicked with me. She is very in tune with me and that is the key. I have told her things that I could not share with any psych doc. Part of why I care for her is because her training seems more well rounded. My BIL is a psychologist and total a-hat. He believes himself to be better and smarter than all the rest of us...and yeah, he's had a little more education, but it didn't make him a nicer person.

In fact, my DH desperately needs a QUALITY therapist to talk out a lot of issues with, but b/c of the jerk his brother is, he is leery of going to someone. He thinks ALL psych docs are like his brother.

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I officially see a psychiatrist for med maintenance, but more often than not, I see a PA in his office. I’ve been stable for a long time, knock wood. I haven’t had talk therapy in quite a while. I did have a short course of talk therapy with an awesome therapist a couple of years ago, and I still remember things she said to me,

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For what it’s worth, I’ve had better luck with psychiatric social workers. They seem less inclined to waste time on things that aren’t working.

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I honestly never heard of that title, hmmm... very interesting! "Psychiatric social workers"...more to check on in the a.m.👍

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Have you looked into Samaritans USA? They talk to anyone who is struggling mentally or emotionally, if you ever find yourself in that position. I have talked to them in the past, and they are incredibly kind. They won’t give you advice but if you need someone to listen, they will without judgment.
Hugs.

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That may be perfect! I'll check it out 2morrow, cuz I'm getting tired & heading to bed, Thanx DizzyB!

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OMG...here is more than you want to know from someone who has more experience than she wishes she had (me). Firstly, your ambivalence and distrust may keep you both wise and safe. It's okay to go with your gut! Ask around and see who people recommend, if you're comfortable doing that. You have a right to ask questions of the person, get a feel for them, see if you're comfortable, if you like where they are, their office..you're paying for it, you should feel good about it. Could any therapist regardless of field be a crazy b themselves? Absolutely. For a very long while in my younger years my therapist was a psychiatrist (an MD). He had the capacity to be caring and compassionate, and he also was a rigid and arrogant ba----d. Which others who knew him or of him knew as well. Some of these people DO have issues of their own, and having an MD degree, and the ability to prescribe drugs just feeds their own power. FOR SOME OF THEM. Not all. Sometimes the earth moves in mysterious ways...now remember I saw this guy decades ago. In the past few years, only by chance, I discovered he passed away. Something sudden. But googling around I discovered the most freeing moment after the way he had treated me (eventually dumping me because his own life was in chaos). Dr Perfect got himself arrested for acting like the arrogant SOB he was at heart. He found some kids in a public area of a complex he lived in using the equipment or space unsupervised, didn't like it, and wanted to drive the kids home to speak to their parents! Kids wise enough to say no. Dr P picked up one of the kid's cellphones. Ooopsy...that's called theft. Kid called his mom who called the police who met Dr P at the gatehouse and arrested him even though he was giving the phone to the attendant there.
BUT: I have had positive experiences as well. Primarily with a psychologist. If meds are needed they can usually collaborate with a primary care MD. I have found psychologists to be more compassionate and real world type.
Clinical social workers can be good as well. In the end your comfort is the priority. Do not be afraid to go, or afraid to say you're not the one, I'm moving on, thanks but no thanks.
In the end you are probably looking for a less involved, more objective ear, someone focused on caring about you and your well-being, someone you can depend on to be in your corner. My guess is you will find the credentials matter far less than the person and their empathy and compassion. Wishing you all the best on the journey. PS...Many years back....after the therapist dumped me, the film What About Bob came out. I thought it was hysterical...and in my case not so far an exageration of the character I was dealing with. I not only saw the movie several times, I bought the DVD and didn't at the time even have a DVD player. No matter what, just remember, you're the one in control:-) Sending hugs and wishing you the best...

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Wow gdaughter, that's amazing, how 'true colors' came out & that Dr got payback. You're right that I want a simple approach, with a supportive 'real' type person. I already know I'm a wreck, so not going 'deep' into any causes, blah blah. Just have to learn to manage my recent loss of work, (mother), friends, &the CKD limiting my life. Kind of a cumulative muck.
Thanks.

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I did some research, & my rural area has no 'psychiatric social workers', as DizzyB suggested. (They sure sounded good tho! ) But I did come across nice profile of a regular social worker,..& guess what? I emailed her just now!...& I can't believe it. (It's a big step for me though). Next, I'll make sure she's still in my area,
(& how do i pay? That's the rough part). Once she gets a load of this mess...I may have to move in..lol.

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Tiger, some of them work for the state and work on a sliding scale fee arrangement. Maybe your state or county Dept of Social Services can help.
But hey! You emailed someone! Go gettem, Tiger!

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Best wishes, Tiger.

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Thanks NHWM, hope ur doing ok. It's good of u to show up for me. (I notice certain 'others' have kept their distance, & unfollowed me even). Not really surprising I guess. Thanks again tho.

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Tiger I have worked in counselling offices with Social Workers, Psychologists and people with other degrees, ie Masters in Family Therapy.

As others have described there are some stinkers in the therapy field as there are in other fields.

Personally I have had both male and female therapists. I currently work with a woman on an as needed basis. I had 2 years of intensive therapy with her and ‘check in’ as needed when a stressful situation comes up.

If I went by first impressions, I met her several years before I needed therapy, I may not have asked for her help. When I needed therapy, I was in a major crisis on several fronts and she was the first person I called.

What were my first impressions? Now keep in mind this was strictly based on looks and knowing she did art therapy as part of her practice... I thought she was some artsy fartsy, hippy dippy chick. I could not have been more wrong.

She is completely grounded, compassionate, works hard for her clients and made me do the hard work I was terrified to tackle.

I never felt judged, felt fully supported, but also was gently pushed forward.

I do not know what health condition you have that will preclude working. I hope it will allow you to participate in your community, make new friends and enjoy your future.

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Tothill, thanks for that good info...& yes I'm having trouble being able to work, or even volunteer, where I was hoping. Yet I see lots of old people working in my neighborhood, (& u can't tell me they can all lift 40 lbs no prob,) that's total b.s. Maybe some lied on their applications, but I don't feel that's ok. Do u guys think I should lie just to work the most entry level job? (What's this country coming to?....)

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Sorry, haven't read all responses.

A Social Worker is not a therapist. They are people trained to find resources to help people who need help. I find the don't look out of the box. They tend to stay within the rules. I would never use one for therapy.

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Uh oh....yeah, that's kinda what happened to me a few years ago. Social worker just gave me a sheet of "positive affirmations" & stared at her phone the rest of the time. Not kidding. I didn't stay long there tho.

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Crying?...(as NHWM said). Oh boy, I dread if I do that in the therapist office. I mean how do you even STOP...once it gets started....Uuggh. this is freakin' me out now😱.

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It didn’t bother my therapist that I cried. He didn’t judge. He was kind, compassionate and patient with me.

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This may sound silly but one thing I totally appreciate that my therapist taught me was simple breathing exercises. Really does help.

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That does work too: like 'box breathing' or 'breath of fire', (but usually it's just the 'diaphragm' type breathing they teach.) Different types work for different folks. 'Buteyko' breathing is another one I've used. (careful: these can be dangerous for some folks...check with Dr.)

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Yikes...didn't mean any judgement (about the crying thing). I'm just very reserved & try to subdue emotions. But that's just me...(I don't even recall us crying as kids... Not even when we were getting hit). So, try not to take it personally NH... 🌷

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Thanks to all who replied & shared, very thoughtful of u.

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It matters how well you click with a particular therapist. I’ve had some who were awesome, and I’ve had some where I wondered why they had ever entered the field.
I like a social worker in general (as opposed to a psychologist) because they’ve usually had a LOT of practical experience with a variety of clients, and as a whole, they seem more like “regular people” to me, which I find easier to relate to. My best therapists were all women who were usually positive and energetic unless there was a (very rare) crisis and they were able to gently meet me at my own level. I don’t know whether that makes a difference. I just feel like it’s harder to BS another woman, which keeps me honest. If I was not in crisis, but just spinning my wheels in daily life, I was kind of energized by a more upbeat therapist.

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That’s sad, Dizzy. Something is way off there. Same with teachers seducing students. That is horrible. They need therapy, right?

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I went looking for a Social Worker as I wanted PRACTICAL advice & was a bit sceptical of thinking strategies. But drew a blank as hospitals SW would only see inpatients & couldn"t find private SW. My Doctor suggested Psychologist instead. I'm glad I tried this. I think of him as a kindly Uncle. He may not know exactly how to plug my family members into the correct services BUT has helped me enormously with strategies to get clearer thinking & stronger in myself, more relaxed & less stuck. This has led to my *wheels not endlessly spinning* & more *actual action* towards a better outcome. (The SW & other professionals will come onboard as required once relative has next hospital admit).

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He sounds great, hope I find that type personality as well. Some therapists maybe like people more, or actually like their job too...👍

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I have tried different psychologists and I didn’t care for them. You spill your guts for 50 minutes and they don’t say anything except for the last 4 minutes they give you their opinion. I told one psychologist about my parents and my brother and he said to me well how does it feel to be the favorite child? I never thought that and how do you respond with that? He was a guy. I gave him 3 tries and then left. I had great advice from women LCSW. They actually have a dialogue with you!! Licensed clinical social worker it stands for. In my state you can’t even talk to a psychiatrist unless it is to get meds and then he only listens to you for a few minutes. He or she is strictly for dispensing meds and not talk therapy. But I would say the LCSW helped me tremendously!!! I went to a few in my lifetime. I am almost 58 years old now.

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So true elaine!

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Dizzybritches I also had gone to a psychologist who a few years after I stopped going to him, he also got caught sleeping with his patient. They took his license away. He was in his 50s when that happened. He was the dipshit who made the crack about me being the favorite child that I mentioned in the other post.

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Thank u elaine1962, I'm understanding what ur saying...very helpful, (cuz I was on the fence about whether a man or woman therapist wud be best 4me).
I've had ur same experience with one psychiatrist in N.Y. : who was only in his chair to give out a prescription, that's it.
Yes, that clarifies a few things 4me, (& one time, it even felt like this (male) therapist we had couldn't stand women at all...(it was our marriage counselor unfortunately). Boy...the people u trust are just as flawed, if not MUCH more so.😱
Thanks.

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And thanks Beatty, just read what u said & it felt 'spot in' with what I can't express:
"my *wheels not endlessly spinning* & more *actual action* towards a better outcome".
That's it! Cuz more deep thinking is now counterproductive 4me...got to 'giddyup', lol...(not spelled right?).
So, appears that psychologist can also be v.good fit 4some.
Thanks4sharing that.

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Thanks DizzyB, That makes sense to me as well, (about female social workers): "they’ve usually had a LOT of practical experience with a variety of clients, and as a whole, they seem more like “regular people” to me, which I find easier to relate to. My best therapists were all women who were usually positive and energetic...".
Even tho I had one that stunk, I'll try again,... cuz I generally agree with what u said. Did send 1 email yesterday, to a SW near me...(hoping).

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Thanks also NHWM, 4forgiving my clumsiness in expressing myself!
Also, made a call to Samaritans USA, (but I actually only texted) cuz I'm kindofa 🐔.😱.
(Will try again later...?).

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Also, Thanks to Gdaughter, Midkid58, Rosered, Tothill, JoAnn29... thank you all 4contrib! Amazed at all of ur courage, & yes I did give up too easily, ....It was wrong of me to reject the idea of certain types of therapist, based on my one or 2 experiences. Hard 4me to trust, (but not a good excuse for living this way either).
DizzyB, thanks, I'll ask about the 'fee scale' for myself...(cuz I bet this is gonna take a while...😅). lol.

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Look, I would be exceptionally cautious now myself considering seeing anyone...all any of us can do is learn from our past as we go forward, and the past does color our perspective. For a while I was considering seeing someone, but there is only one person I would consider in this town at this point and he is not in the insurance network, so it would be a hunk of dough I do not have or need to put in other places. I used to be totally terrified of the dentist. And I had every reason in the world to be...but then I did a lot of research and found an oral surgeon I needed and a DDS. And you know what? That oral surgeon is now like a big brother to me! For years, until he officially retired last November, I would get off early on Fridays and go crash in his office for a while. Now HE was a good therapist LOL...because in reality, a good therapist might feel like you are chatting with a friend, though they can't be. But the point is if you are honest and open, you can address your concerns with the person you start with, and if you don't feel comfortable, YOU are in control. YOU can even walk out in the middle of a session!!! YOU don't have to EVER go back. You can ask questions, talk on the phone, get a feel for the person before ever committing to going to see them.

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Whoever you choose, make sure they training included supervised talk therapy. Don’t go to someone who hasn’t had at least six months of supervised otherapy training. Also ask if they are taking part in peer review three or four times a year..

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Wow, that's interesting.. thank DIL,
I had no idea about that type training, (or what questions 2ask). It's getting less scary now.👍

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Do you prefer a social worker as your therapist? Or a psychologist? Help.

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