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You have t separate your finances and when your wife is out of money, she goes on Medicaid. You need to hire a lawyer
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Reply to Southernwaver
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Snowgoose Jun 3, 2024
How does this work (or does it work at all?) in a “community-property” state? Is there still a way to divide a wife’s income from the husband’s for Medicaid purposes?
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Yes, and lucky at that price, for in the bay area MC can run to 20,000 a month.
And yes, the money goes very very quickly.
That is why the government provides assistance to so many who outlive their funds.
We speak of this all the time on Forum, as you will see if you stick around with us. Glad to have you here and hope you'll stay.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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My mother lived four years in nursing home care, in the best place in the city. She went through a long term care policy to private pay to Medicaid in about a year. Please know that upon using Medicaid her SS went to the nursing home, but dad kept all of his SS, all of his monthly pension from being a teacher, their home, all the money in their checking and savings, and only had to sell one car and keep one car. His lifestyle changed none. Mom’s care remained the same, competent and compassionate, throughout no matter how it was paid. She stayed in the same room, with same caregivers. Nursing home care doesn’t have to break you. Get some good advice from someone well versed in Medicaid applications
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I live in a low cost of living area and I was just quoted $361 per day plus supplies to place my wife in a skilled nursing facility for 6 weeks. This was a religious nonprofit facility. No local Medicaid beds are available.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jun 3, 2024
Just read your profile. You have a lot on your plate. My heart goes out to you. I wish you and your wife all the best.
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Where I live an “average” nursing home costs $18,000/month. A really nice one, well over $20,000/month. When I see posts like this I wonder where people are from.
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Reply to LilyLavalle
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Depends on where you live, by me it is about $7,000 a month, expensive for sure.
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Reply to MeDolly
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NH care is super expensive. Look into medicaid with an elder care attorney if you can. Once assets are gone, the government can step in and help. Take assets out of your LO's name. I am paying $15,000 for each of my parents in NY and it goes higher when you add in meds and therapy. Some months the cost is over $17,000 for just one of them.

It makes sense to save your money but they will most likely use all of their assets before they pass.
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Reply to Sadkid22
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OMG really! / s

OldDad, what you do is find a CELA level of elder law atty to go over options for wife’s eligibility for precisely however your State runs its LTC Medicaid program, then follow their advice and let them shepherd your wife’s application to become a custodial care resident in a NH and eligible for LTC Medicaid after she (not you but her) does any legit spenddown needed to get to the asset level for LTC Medicaid & for you to become a CS “community spouse” continuing to live in your home and - if applicable- able to have some of wf monthly income be waived to go to you instead of almost all hers being paid to the NH as LTC Medicaid required SOC share of cost. You have to be all in on this with providing details on every bit of assets, old legal done, income, etc.

For couples, imho, when 1 Nh & other is not, is attorney work.
It is NOT - again not - ever a DIY. There are just too too many nuances to how LTC Medicaid runs to attempt this on your own. You are doing caregiving so yourself are overwhelmed and you will cock it up and make mistakes that will cost you for both right now and over time even into past your or your wfs passing. If CELA atty in yiur region tell you it’s 8K or 10K upfront retainer, it is what it is.

Financially it is only your Wf that has to be impoverished for LTC Medicaid, not you as you are a CS and still need your own income and assets to be able to stay in your home. But doing this correctly in a way that passes a caseworker view of documents required by State is not a DIY. If this was a POA son that is very involved in their widowed Dads life, even if Dad has a home & a car or even two, yeah that can be a DIY if they are organized and Dad isn’t fighting them on decision making. But couples is way waaaaay complicated. Not DIY.
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AlvaDeer Jun 3, 2024
If YOU think it is attorney work, then it really is!
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Yes, and more. Without accountability or knowledge what is going on inside the facility. Scary
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Reply to hopeful360
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lealonnie1 Jun 3, 2024
Who leaves their loved one in a nursing home, or any managed care facility for that matter, w/o frequent visits to make CERTAIN "what's going on" and that they're being cared for properly?? All nursing homes are accountable to the state who monitors them for compliance with regulations.
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So yes - the amount is astronomical - but with the ability to utilize the concept of community spouse and apply for Medicaid after spend down- it is honestly more feasible when you get to the point of needing 24 hour care than the other options - which are typically trying to schedule and split a family member's care between loved ones (if you have them available and willing) - all of whom likely already have a lot on their own plates from full time jobs to children to their own health problems - and juggling scheduling 24 hour care between untrained family members - I can promise you from experience - can be enough to drive even the most dedicated and loving family members crazy. And the other option is having 24/7 paid caregivers come into the home - and if you think nursing homes are expensive - the price tag on in home round the clock care is enough to make you cry..
When we priced it out for my FIL - it would have run between $480 - $720 a day (so @$175,000 - 263,000 a year) and that was just ONE caregiver per 8 hour shift - he would have needed TWO - given his size and needs - so double that.

When we did THAT math - and given that we could no longer PHYSICALLY provide the level of care that he needed at home - and the funds were not there to provide his care at home - we literally only had one option - as expensive as it may have been.

As far as no accountability or knowledge of what goes on inside of the facility - I disagree - but that's a rabbit hole for another day.
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