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This reminds me of what happened with my father, 40 years ago, dying of pancreatic cancer. My father was an agnostic, my mother neutral on religion. My cousin was a very religious man, a good good kind man. My mother said my cousin came to the door and asked if he could see my dad, pray for him. My mother turned him away, wouldn't let him in the door. I was always sorry about that. I would have let him in.
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AmyGrace has a great idea. I know you don't get along with her son, but this isn't about you and him. It's about your wife. Give her what she wants and needs. I can promise you that if you swallow little pride and just go with the flow (even if it sticks in your craw with all the religious stuff) let that go in favor of loving your wife. I know you'll feel better when she does go if you have shown her that you do in fact have unconditional love for her.

These boards are full of people who have horrible regrets for the way "left things" with their loved ones. Since you do not believe in an afterlife, what harm would if do for you to "fake it" for her sake?

My MIL and FIL were divorced many years before my FIL died. My MIL had nothing good to say to him or about him. When he passed she didn't even acknowledge his death to their children--and it caused some real pain for the kids. They were forced to take sides and they loved both their parents. In the end, dad had peace and mom is still as angry as she always was. So very sad.

Perhaps this time apart has softened your heart. Tell your son in law you won't discuss religion ( we don't discuss politics at our house) and both of you respect that. You won't regret making amends with your wife, but you will be kicking yourself senseless if you don't.

Good luck with this.
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My wife passed on Thursday. No more pain. Thank You all for your support and input.
Fladnag60 couldn't remember my password for that account
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So sorry for your loss. Sorry that it was made worse by her son's actions against you. Gives 'religion, faith, and christainity' a bad name.

Try to remember her when she was with you-not so much those final months.
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Sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you.
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My deepest condolences to you. Cherish the good times, that's what was important.
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My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.
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Flagnad62, you did your very best, and I know you gave it a lot of consideration trying to come to some understanding regarding your wife's end of life choices. You Loved her, now it's time to grieve, and move on knowing that. I'm sorry for your loss! Take care!
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You may not believe the same as her and her son spiritually, but recognize that emotionally many people turn to religion when faced with a serious life problem and certainly end of life.
Anyway to make peace with son? Bite your tongue and go along, you do not have to be a believer, just not a debater. And for goodness sake forget the claim.
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Dear Mr. Flad,
I totally respect your right to believe or not believe anything you choose!
After what you have experienced, avoiding the son and any cult followers is highly advisable, you don't need to be hurt more or measured and found lacking, or judged by him ever again. Protect yourself. imo.
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I'm so sorry.
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Sorry for your loss, have solace in knowing that she knew you loved her and wanted to be by her side.
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