My wife was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer back in October. She is staying with her son since he can off the spiritual support she needs. I am not religious and this has always caused problems between her son & I. Her son and I got into a screaming match over the phone the other day and it basically comes down to he blames me for everything including her cancer. My wife was still helping to contribute to the monthly rent while staying with him but now her son is basically controlling all aspects of her life and that has stopped.. I believe he is screening any calls or texts I send to her. My wife was is on SSA early retirement but I have since become aware that she is likely eligible to receiver her full pension amount on SS Disability. Possibly retroactive to when she first had her symptoms and since she is terminal she can be fast tracked on what SSD call Compassionate Allowance.
She is trapped between her son and I and is taking strong narcotics for pain and at this point I am not even sure how lucid she is. What rights do I have as her husband to
1. Be able to see or speak with her without her sons interference or presence.
2. To start the disability claim without her consent if and get access to her medical records.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thank You
These boards are full of people who have horrible regrets for the way "left things" with their loved ones. Since you do not believe in an afterlife, what harm would if do for you to "fake it" for her sake?
My MIL and FIL were divorced many years before my FIL died. My MIL had nothing good to say to him or about him. When he passed she didn't even acknowledge his death to their children--and it caused some real pain for the kids. They were forced to take sides and they loved both their parents. In the end, dad had peace and mom is still as angry as she always was. So very sad.
Perhaps this time apart has softened your heart. Tell your son in law you won't discuss religion ( we don't discuss politics at our house) and both of you respect that. You won't regret making amends with your wife, but you will be kicking yourself senseless if you don't.
Good luck with this.
Fladnag60 couldn't remember my password for that account
Try to remember her when she was with you-not so much those final months.
Anyway to make peace with son? Bite your tongue and go along, you do not have to be a believer, just not a debater. And for goodness sake forget the claim.
I totally respect your right to believe or not believe anything you choose!
After what you have experienced, avoiding the son and any cult followers is highly advisable, you don't need to be hurt more or measured and found lacking, or judged by him ever again. Protect yourself. imo.