My mother passed last year. My father already had dementia & was placed in a wonderful memory home. Last year I was seriously ill so my 2 sisters took on my father's POA. I have recovered & getting stronger every day. I live the closest to my father & can go into action the quickest. My sisters would like me take over POA. At this time, I am not sure if POA is only medical or medical/financial. My father only gets SSDI so there isn't much money to oversee. I am my father's eldest child & I want to take on this responsibility. I was in the hospital when my mother passed & unable to attend her services.
If your father is not competent to change the POA then it's possible that it can't be changed outside of someone gaining guardianship, which as you've discovered, can be a lengthy and expensive process. Having a lawyer review all the paperwork might be a next step, if your sister does indeed want to give up the responsibility.
POA is a big responsibility and quite stressful. Perhaps there is family history involved, you being the older sibling and all. And your sister may not have handled your inquiries in the absolute best way possible.
But it is what it is. My advice is to apologize and repair the relationship with your sister, and let her know that if she needs any help, you're available. That you'd appreciate being kept in the loop about your father's health and activities. And that you'll run things through her in the future before contacting the nursing home.
And then all of you can focus on your father.
Even if I don't like a delivery of mssgs, I tend to back away. Getting angry & fighting would only divide us. As I am finding out, it is not as simple as I can take on POA.
Actually, joining this forum today is helping me process yesterday. Having a safe sounding block without causing problems.
Thank you to all who are replying & sharing.
It specifically states that the Attorney-in-Fact (the person appointed to act) may choose such individuals as may be appropriate to carry out the terms of the DPOA. That could authorize me to retain anything from an investment advisor to a handyman contractor, or to authorize someone (including relatives) to assist me in other areas.
Jujubell, If such a provision is included in your father's DPOA, your sisters can select you to act in their behalf.
I would seek the advice of a respected, recommended attorney in the fields I mention, to interpret the document for you. This is one of the reasons I'm so opposed to Internet documents. They're not drafted by an attorney who knows the family, and don't always address potentially necessary contingencies.
Caveat: the function I refer to is embodied in a DPOA; you mention a "POA" and medical issues. Is this a medical authorization, i.e., a Living Will (POA) to which you refer?
I have a feeling it may have been via internet.
What I have read this far it sounds like a guardianship.
I don't see any problem with u questioning the hearing aides not working. But the POA should be called about any appts being made for Dad.
Looks like your sisters will have to remain in charge. You will just be the "lookout". Just giving them info about Dad.
Now Dad is in a facility there really is no financial responsibility. In my Moms case, the facility became payee for her SS and pension.
Medical would be the important one at this point so u can carry out Dads wishes. Financial and Medical are two different documents.
If your sisters had not been mentioned in the original POA, then only your Dad could have authorized the change on his Power of Attorney, if he was still able.
Let's assume everyone's name was on the POA, then it appears that you can once again be the primary Power of Attorney.
Let us know what was the wording.
I was hospitalized for 8 1/2 months recovery from open heart surgery, loss of functioning legs, & other health issues related to sepsis.
I am stronger to the point of doing a 10 mile bike ride this week.
I was not part of the POA process. I am not named as primary nor secondary. My sisters are named. I don't have details of how, who, when for POA.
All was good until this week. I call my father daily & see him every week or so. Last Friday my husband & I picked my father up for outing. He could not hear a word. Upon returning, we mentioned to staff that Daddy could not hear us & could they please check his hearing aides.
I called my father Sat, Sun, Mon, & Tue. He still could not hear me.
I left 2 messages with home case worker. She called me back yesterday morning. She told me hearing aides were checked & batteries changed. She told me an appt will be made for my father & she will let me know date/time of appt.
Later yesterday I get mssg from secondary sister saying I wasn't suppose to be addressing medical issues. I had to go through father's POA. I didn't realize asking I wasn't following protocol.
Sib said if I want to take over POA, I may do so. That lead me to this forum. I am clueless to POA's & how to changed from my 2 sibs to me. I am researching to educate myself.
My father's progression of dementia is prohibiting him from any decision making.
I don't know what is next step. I have some research which indicates having to go to court. Research indicate this can be a lengthy & expensive process which I don't have the funds to do.
My sibs & I are close & do not fight for control over our father. I want to do what is in my father's best interest especially since I was unable to be there for my mother.