My father (93) wants to remain in his home. What services are available?

Companion care usually requires a three hour minimum amount of hours. They can do minor cleanup meal prep, laundry and remind him to take his medicine. They can not set up medication. You will need to do that. If his memory is failing, be aware of his safety. He may get to a point that he can't live independently for safety reasons.

There are automated pill dispensers now on the market. They are timed to only allow access to the exact pills at the times set. A buzzer sounds and bugs the person to take those pills- then it rotates to the next pills for the next medication time. Would this work with your father?

Diane, I agree with Pam above, you would need to call a caregiver Agency to see what is available to help your Dad. Maybe he would need someone in the mornings to make sure he eats breakfast, gets a shower, takes his morning pills, plus do some very light housekeeping if Dad doesn't do it himself. And to get lunch ready for him, and then leave something for him to heat up for dinner or to eat cold. He could also get Meals On Wheels, if it is available in your area.

I had Agency caregivers for my Dad and it cost in my area around $28 per hour. Eventually Dad needed more hours each day, thus it was costing him over $400 per day. No over-night service as Dad would sleep through the night as the evening caregiver would help Dad upstairs, help with his shower, and make sure Dad was safely tucked in bed before he/she left.

Eventually to save money, Dad wanted to move to Independent/Assisted Living. He had caregivers only in the mornings but in the evenings he would forget to take his pills, even with me calling to remind him. The caregivers would tell me they think maybe Dad was forgetting he already took his pills and would take them again [even when using an AM/PM pillbox] or not take pills at all at night.

Eventually I had to use an Assisted Living option where the Independent Living complex would come in twice a day to give Dad his pills.

Get a "personal assistant" (I worked as one for several years) who comes in as needed. I did not refer to myself as an aide or nurse, but "personal assistant" gave my clients a certain feeling of power and respect that is sadly missing in elder care.

I wasn't supposed to touch or organize pills--but I did b/c my clients usually couldn't. And sadly, no alarms or reminders in the world will help some people to remember to take their meds.

I was a 3-4 day a week companion, but it sounds like your dad needs more. My clients lived with family--this was a "break" for the family. The PA could at least make sure that the meds are in order, make meals and have some extra for the days they are not there. Family will have to fill in, of course, sounds like dad needs daily care.

I know that I was grossly underpaid for the kind of service I provided--so be prepared to have to possibly work through several no-starters as you accustom yourself to this kind of care. I know I was the 3rd person to work for my client in one week. We "clicked" and I stayed with her until she had to be placed in a NH.

Good Luck!!

Diane, my father is determined to stay in his house for the rest of his life, so we've made and are still making accommodations and plans. Perhaps some of what we're doing will be of help to you.

1. Daily Reminders: One of the things I'm going to be doing is making a color coded daily chart of things that need to be done. Taking meds isn't a problem, but sometimes using nonprescription eye drops isn't done as often as it should. And usually the humidifier doesn't get turned on. My chart will be something like:

Morning: AM meds, fill and turn on humidifier; check and fill if necessary water filter on oxygen concentrator; use dry eye drops.

Lunch: Meds, dry eye drops.

Dinner: Meds, dry eye drops.

Bedtime: Turn off humidifier; prescription eye drops.

My chart is mostly for the humidifier and oxygen maintenance issues, such as changing cannulas, checking the filter bottle and humidifier level and making sure to turn it on to counteract the dry heat in the house.

I think I'll include a place for a check mark so it can be checked off when done - especially for the eye drops.


2. Meals.

Dad gets Meals on Wheels through the Senior Center in his community. They're $3 each, with options for additional meals just before holidays. The people who deliver are volunteers who enjoy seniors, bring him extra food, and provide a nice human touch during the day.


3. I subscribe to a monthly Medic Alert monitoring service through a Michigan company which initially began in the security service industry. Over a few years, they've proven to be outstanding in their support, calling both Dad and then me repeatedly if his monitor shows a change in position which could indicate a fall.


4. We bought and installed a lock box on the exterior of the house, next to the front door. There are 2 kinds: one has an upside down U shaped handle which fits over the door. Dad examined it and rejected it b/c he said he can be sawed off. I tested mine on my door and saw that his observation was correct. I could actually get a hacksaw in to (tediously) saw through the handle, releasing the entire device.

So we bought the kind that installs directly into the studs adjacent to a front door. The combination to the front door key inside can be changed anytime. I give the EMTs the combination when I call if I can't be there in time to let them in.

I've also given it to friends when Dad and I have both been ill and I couldn't get to his house to help him.


5. I recently bought an AT&T corded phone with caller ID, and extra loud (I mean loud enough to hurt my ears) ringer. Dad too has hearing problems. There are some phones with "boost" capacity for hard of hearing people but I haven't checked them out. The problem we haven't worked out is when the phone is accidentally put back in the cradle but not seated properly, and any calls I make just don't go through b/c the phone is literally off the hook.


6. Some of the neighbors are especially helpful and will go over to Dad's to check on him if I can't get in touch with him.


7. One of the neighbors has 2 children who take turns bringing his mail to him so he doesn't have to go outside in the winter. He gives them candy treats.


8. He still has a snowmobile suit as well as plenty of blankets to keep him warm in the event of a power failure. I'd like to get a generator but he doesn't want one.

I raise that issue b/c I have family near you and I understand that one of the winter storms knocked out power in your area either late last year or early this year.


My next big project is getting him qualified for VA Aide & Attendance, then hiring a cleaning service. I contacted a few, including one which uses only earth friendly cleaners.

If I can think of other things you can do to help your father stay at home, I'll post back.

Does your Dad have long term care insurance? Is he a Veteran that served during war time? a caregiver from 9 to 3 or 10 till 4 would be idea? I do not know what state you are in? In Florida we have a site care.com that people can say what they need and those that are caregivers reply.

Care.com is an excellent resource throughout the US. I got an excellent lady from them and we remained friends after my mother's death. At first she worked 3 days a week for me and did an overnight gig for another family. Now she is working for a stroke victim, part time. Many of these wonderful caregivers are supplementing their income from other jobs and are happy with a few hours a day. Also check out the VA Aid and Assistance pension that veterans are able to receive. I think the vet can get up to $1800 per month depending on their other income. Medical expenses offset income and home care is considered a medical expense by VA.

I just wanted to add if your dad is a vet he can receive hearing aids and a small device that he wears around his neck. This allows his cell phone calls to go directly into his hearing aids. It was a life saver for us because my dad also could not hear us on the phone. All free of charge. Phonak was the maker of the hearing aids. Any cell phone that is blue tooth compatible will work.

Um, I worked for an agency and was paid $8.25 and hour. Slave wages. The family approached me just months after I began and asked me straight out what I made. They were appalled--and routinely "tipped me". So I made closer to $15. And worth every cent of it. Agencies take a HUGE cut. Privately, if you want to contract with someone you know, that is doable. I was in the process of negotiating a contract with a friend for her mother and they finally decided to place mom instead. I would have been paid $20 an hour. They were working with an attorney to set this up. The agencies bond you and such, if you are independent, you should have an attorney handling some parts of the deal. To be on the safe side for everyone.

If he wants to stay in his home: #1 hire an RN for a 12-hour overnight shift, #2 put in place Meals on Wheels, #3 hire a cleaning person and #4 hire a medication management person. A lot, right? You may want to consider that he CAN'T live alone.