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My dad had dementia and his wife who he married after he had already had signs of dementia handled his finances. She passed way in October 2021, where at that time, I filed for Guardianship of my dad and got temporary guardianship. Before I was able to have permanent guardianship, which would have happened on December 23, 2021, my dad passed away on December 5, 2021. I was working on getting the permanent guardianship because I knew in my gut that his wife was up to something.


After reviewing my dad's bank account statements that I received from my dad's previous Power of Attorney, I was shocked to see that my dad's wife had written two checks to herself, one for $100,000.00 and one for $35,000.00, along a counter withdraw for over $13,000.00. If my dad had not passed away when he did, there would not have been enough money in his account to pay for his monthly care. I am heart broken that this was done to my dad and want to go after his wife's estate to rectify this.


I don't know who to talk to that won't cost me everything he has left, which is not much. What breaks my heart so much is that I was so close to protecting him.

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Talk to an attorney quickly to see if there is a way to put a claim against her estate. If she put the money into her own bank account, there's a chance her family would inherit the balance. Plus it would be a trail she did not use the funds for any of his care. Attorney. Now. A consult may be worth the price for info you receive.
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The only way I believe you have a case, is if the wife was not 'on account'. If these accounts belonged to both of them . . . no case. Even if she was POD, but not on account - she did wrong.

If she died intestate, and Probate was open - that is your window of opportunity to claim back that $$ in a law suit probably to whoever is getting that money after her death.

Just thoughts right off the top of my head. Hope this angle helps a bit.

At least sit down with an Estate, Family law type attorney for a consult.
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If the wife was on the account she had every right to write a check of any kind to any person. Sadly that is the case. You should see a Trust and Estate Attorney in your area to see if there is any recourse here; I very much doubt there will be. I hope your father had a clear will and you are the executor of that will; that will allow you to use remaining assets to check on all of this. Laws differ state to state but I do not know of ANY state in which spouses on the same account cannot do as they please with their assets in their names.
Wishing you good luck, hoping you can find some peace with this after you get all the legal answers in your area. And do know, those on Forum may be very informed, but in legal and monetary issues you should always see a lawyer in your own area.
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These are some issues to consider, and answer:

1.   What proof do you have that the $100K and $35K as well as the $13K were NOT spent on services or care for your father?   You will have to have proof of malfeasance and/or elder financial abuse to provide to any attorney.

2.    The "Previous Power of Attorney"... who was the proxy under this POA?  Was the proxy acting at the time, and if so, was she/he aware of the withdrawals?  And again if so, was anything done about them?  Any explanations provided?   Any details or documentation given?   These are critical questions which an attorney would ask as you're assuming that the withdrawals weren't legitimate (and they may well be illegitimate) and presumably that the previous proxy wasn't involved in any of this action.

However, if he/she was aware of these transfers, the big question is what, if anything was done about it?

3.   Does the now deceased wife have an estate, and who's handling it?   Were any trusts involved for either her or your father?

4.   Do you know how these funds were spent?  Specifically, were any of them spent on your father's care, or on his behalf or for his benefit?

5.   You could try to talk to police, but this is more of a legal matter initially, to obtain documentation supporting your suppositions.  To pursue it then, you'd need to hire an attorney with a knowledge of criminal misappropriation of funds, or whatever an attorney you consult with determines are the offenses (elder abuse, financial theft, etc.).  

What you could ask the police is if there are any other financial abuse charges against this woman, including in other jurisdictions.   In addition, was she previously married and were there any charge arising from that/those marriages? I.e., is she a serial thief?

6.  Litigation such as this is not going to be cheap; beyond the attorney fees, there will be fees to obtain documents, and perhaps some type of forensic audit.  There may even be depositions and injunctive relief sought and granted against the wife's estate, and possibly its heirs.

I'm sorry to learn of this upsetting situation; if I were in such a situation, I'd be livid, but I would get all the documentation in order and review it 2 - 3 times before going to an attorney, but I'd also do a lot of research to locate a competent, qualified attorney for this kind of litigation.   It wouldn't hurt to find an attorney in an elder law firm that also handles white collar criminal issues.
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