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Know these subjects covered in other threads but all cases different as we all know.


Looking for help and how to reply when I get " I never ask you for anything but you don't help me" and " You have let me down"


My 93 year old father in care. Needs help with washing and dressing. Needs meals made and incontinence now most days. He has days that He is lucid. He asks me to take him home, take him to place he was brought up, take him to see an old neighbour who he promised to keep in touch with ( not true. She has never visited and he has not seen her for years) would I phone her for him.


When I say no he gets mad and starts the trying to make me feel guilty.


I end up falling out with him. How can I deal with this better. He does not forget the things he wants and it becomes like an obsession. Driving me crazy.

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Fib; OK Dad we'll go by there when we're out and about next Friday.
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Okay, I will call her, she's not answering the phone. We'll try later. Sometimes you just have to humor them. Maybe the neighbor would chat with him for a bit. You never know.

This is a hard journey, do the best you can and forgive yourself when you mess up. It is hard to see our parents failing.
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Have you seen the Teepa Snow videos? She deals with how to answer those with dementia. Many have found her advice very helpful.

https://teepasnow.com/

Good luck!
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