We have had a few years of health issues with mom. The time is here that the doctors have said they can not do anything more to help mom feel better. We talked to palliative care and they directed us to Hospice care.
Mom decided to have her defibrillater turned off and accept Hospice care. She has no patience and doesn't seem listen to what it all involved. Then she is rude and gets all frustrated with the caregivers and family trying to help.
Feels hurtful and I had the delusion that she would be grateful we are there and had come to terms with where her health is. Boy was I wrong.
Now I am feeling guilty for my negative thoughts.
Why don't you ask her what she wants.
You do not mention in your profile if she has dementia or not but trying to put words to a thought and not being able to must be so frustrating. I know I get frustrated when something slips my mind I can not imagine what it would be like to have that happen all the time.
Give her time.
Let the wonderful people from Hospice get to know her, she will get to know them and will probably look forward to their visits.
You can request a variety of therapists from music to art including pet therapy.
These may be curtailed for a while with COVID19 but as soon as possible take advantage of those services.
Just be there for her.
Support her.
By the way when you are trying to help make sure that it is help she wants, if she can do things for herself let her do as much as she can as long as it is safe.
She is trying to be as independent as possible. The problem is that it is so difficult for her to breathe with just simple things. She doesn't want to ask for help and then becomes frustrated.
We ask what we can help with and she doesn't know. It's a challenge and will be a difficult process.