My friend’s mom has been bedridden for over 1 yr since she fell & broke her hip. All during the pandemic my friend L (who is a Govt employee) could work from home. But now she had to go back to her office. She does have a part-time help when she is at work.
I just received word recently that her mother has stopped eating. My dear friend L is beside herself and does not know what to do next. What can I do to help & what advice can I give her to assist with moral support & be there for my dear friend L?
Dee
The fact that her mother has stopped eating and drinking can indicate that she has started her dying process, thus the hospice recommendation.
When the body is shutting down it can be very harmful and painful to try and force food or drink on someone, as hospice can explain to her.
You may also want to suggest to your friend that they now say whatever they feel they need to before her mother passes.
And you can just be there for her to give a hug when needed or a shoulder to cry on.
Wishing you and your friend the best of luck with a difficult situation.
My Mom was on Hospice for two years, she is now going back to Palliative care. My Dad was also on Hospice. Neither of my parents were eating or drinking and at the end my Dad was hallucinating.
I was so upset but the Hospice nurse told me this was normal and that they were not uncomfortable. It was more uncomfortable to me and she was instrumental in helping understand the dying process. My Dad passed peacefully and Mom keeps on ticking.
I hope your friend will consider this approach.
you can be a huge help by letting her vent and a nice pot of soup would be comforting to her wt the end of a long day. Offer to pick up groceries and most of all what has really helped me is when a friend asks how I am. It usually brings me to tears because somehow in the last three years I forgot that My well being matters as well
She may be nearing the end of her life (very common to stop eating/drinking). Be there for her to talk to.
When my grandmother was not eating or drinking and ended up at the ER, the doctor informed us that was what the end looked like. It was extremely painful for everyone involved. It was such a gut wrenching loss that has been ten years on and is still terribly painful. So you'll need to be there for your friend through the loss and Hospice is really important to work with your friend in a professional and empathetic way. You'll need to be there for your friend as they go thru this very hard time and afterwards as they cope with an eventual loss whether that be soon or in the years to come. Be a gentle sounding board for them and let them know they are doing the best they can. None of us can stop the march of time.