How can I get my sister to a doctor for her memory problems? She says she is fine and won't go.

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How can I get my sister to a doctor for her memory problems? She says she is fine and won't go.

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She forgets entire conversations she has with family and friends. She has a problem with time spans. She will say we spoke a day or two ago when we actually spoke a week or two ago. We want to take her to a neurologist but she refuses to go. She thinks she is fine. How can we persuade her to go?

Alzheimer's & Dementia

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Age does make a difference. For daughterlinda, I tend to agree. Count your blessings that he's not suffering. If things get worse, you may want to risk side effects with some medications. It wouldn't hurt to mention his symptoms to his doctor. But at 91, he's probably doing quite well considering everything.

For younger adults, there's likely more of a reason to try one of the drugs that may slow down symptoms because we never know when a new drug will come on the market that could stop the progression of the disease.

Meanwhile, new studies have shown that a combination of vitamin B12, vitamin B6 and folic acid can slow AD symptoms. I'd check with the elder's doctor, no matter the elder's age, about this option. Aging people often don't absorb their nutrients well - particularly vitamin B12 - and many studies have thrown light on the cognitive issues that may occur with low B12 levels. Don't expect miracles, and don't try huge levels without medical guidance. But nutrition can make a difference.

In reference to parents and spouses who won't go to a doctor: there's a point where you have to accept that this is his or her right. You can't tie them up and drag them, and if they won't cooperate not much will be accomplished if you do get them there.

Sometimes, I think if we let people alone and stop nagging (even though we are well intended) they may start to notice that they may need a checkup. Kind of reverse psychology, I guess. Good luck to you all.
Carol

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If she denies she has memory problems, stop talking about them, and think of another pretext to get her to the doctor. If she is in denial, or if disease keeps her from seeing the problem, you will only make her angry if you try to make her face it. My husband has ADHD, in his opinion. So we get him treatment for that, which happens to be the treatment for ALZ!

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The simple answer is you can't. I consulted with the doctor to make certain that my wife really did have dementia, and once I accepted that fact it became pointless to argue. If she thinks something is black and I think it is white, so be it. I now simply concentrate on making our lives together as meaningful as possible. She has been bedridden for three years, but from time-to-time there are still precious moments when we share old memories from our 60 years of marriage.

Best wishes

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I would ask her to go with YOU for your appointment. Ask doctor to give you both the cognitive test, then let her answer all the questions. You could ask her certain timeline questions on your own.
I've suggested this once before as an answer, but not sure if it's really ethical to trick someone. Lol:) Worth a try. Also consider ginkgo biloba and coconut oil in her diet. Crossword puzzles to exercise her brain. All the best, Dear One. xo

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I was in sort of the same situation 3 years ago with my wife, 68 at that time. My solution was to convince her of coming together to our doctor for a general check -up, we had done that before sometimes. She was having memmory problems and denied. This february she was diagnosed with Alz. Up to today she denies ghaving memory problems, but is accepting going to a psychotherapist and receiving Exelon patches. Will improve? God knows. But at least we are trying.
I don´t believe it is cheating, or unethical, because mostly, they are not they, the disease is now in charge of their volition. And taking care of them is what has to be done.

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I was advised while I was taking care of my mother that the nature of some forms of dementia makes it impossible for the patient to believe there is anything wrong. I know through my mom's entire illness she always thought we were the ones acting strangely. Even when a neurologist showed her a scan of her shrinking brain, she simply could not believe it. I had her appoint me POA for health issues. Then the doctors could talk to me and listen to me. It made it easier in that we never bothered to tell her again that she had dementia. Good luck, I know your position is a tough one.

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You might try getting a little recorder and tape some of your interactions. When she denies a conversation, you can play it back. If you emphasize your concern, she may be able to hear it. Good luck!

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I like the recorder idea.

I have a suggestion on broaching the subject: the show Nurse Jackie on Showtime *****SPOILER ALERT****has a storyline this season about one of the characters being forgetful and being afraid to be tested. They trick her into testing. I am not suggesting you do that, but the outcome of the characters testing was NOT dementia, forgetfulness can result from other causes. Whatever the cause it, better to deal with the issue that not.

If you and your sister like this sort of show, this can help you open the door to a difficult conversation that she seems to have already shut out.

Best of luck.

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I take care of my Mom who has dementia and her memory lasts from 1 to 15 minutes on most everything, however if a doctor asked her how she was doing, she would say fine, I don't have a problem. She knows she does because at times she admits it to us but most of the time she lives in denial.

Recording her would prove nothing to her and only make her raving mad and in 1 to 15 minutes she wouldn't remember it anyway.

I completely understand why you are worried about your sister especially if she isn't very old. Does she has a spouse or children that might help you get her to go? I would lie or do whatever I had to if it would get her there. We are afraid of making these people angry so we back off, but my sister and I have demanded on occasion that our mother was going to the doctor even if we had to dress and drag her there! I know that sounds harsh, but it worked. She moaned and groaned and bitched the entire time but we did get her into the doctor.

If it is Alzheimer's or dementia there are med's that will slow the progression but nothing will cure them or reverse what damage has been done, it may make them easier to handle especially if they have an anger issue. What if it was something else though that could be easily remedied what a shame not to get some help to find out.

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You are correct you can't make one person do something they refuse to do
To Carek 1230. Who's is buying the booze and cigarettes. The alcohol and cigarettes have almost certainly affected her health especially her liver which may be giving her dementia like symptoms. She could have also have had many small strokes which can also affect memory. as for you may not be able to liver alone on SSD. you may find that you can with help. go to social services and see if they can help you. There may be subsidized housing available, it is often for seniors but also may include the disabled of any age.. Food stamps, medicaid and if you have catholic charities they can often help with furniture. Don't be too proud keep asking till you get help and don't tell Mom what you are up to. rent a post office box if she gets into the mail but keep it quiet

How can I get my sister to a doctor for her memory problems? She says she is fine and won't go.

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