My mother is pretty far along in her dementia, but is still mobile. She wears Depends and doesn't know the difference. She rarely wets in them. The problem though is she will pull her pants down and sit anywhere to go the bathroom - the edge of the bed, a chair, the bathroom floor (beside the commode) or on the carpet. I need to be with her every time she goes, but I don't wake up at night always and sometimes I am busy and do not notice she left the room. She and I live alone.
I am sure others will come up with better solutions--we are a clever group but here is what I would do:
Since your mother wears Depends and still understands the need to pull down her pants to do the deed, what if you stitched a fastener or button into her pants that made it difficult to pull them down when she felt the need to go. Then she might call for your help and you could guide her to the commode. After doing this for several days, she might get used to calling for help even when the fastener is no longer there. Any tailor or seamstress could install the fastener if you tell them what it is for.
My mom got to the point that she would give me the 'look' and I would know that now's the time. They can't dawdle because they are going to wait until it's critical mass before they're understanding that action must be taken.
Good luck and I thought about installing a hose bib and drain in the middle of the bathroom but I like Daniel's idea better.
lovbob
A light bulb went off in my brain. Just put a sticker on the edge of the toilet seat. I covered a flower sticker with clear packing tape. Then adhered the sticker to the front of the seat. I started taking her to the bathroom after I had gone or every 2-3 hours. Continuously, told her she had to sit past the sticker, when she could see the sticker between her legs, she was in the correct position.
This went on for days,weeks months. Go to the bathroom every 2-3 hour and sit past the sticker, the pee or poop. If the sticker got gross, I'd replace it with another one. By taking her and reminding her over and over it seem to be become part of long term memory, which Alzheimer's are more able to retain then short term memory. Short term memory is worthless for patients with dementia. Long term memory starts to dissolve as the patient progresses into late stage of Alzheimer's. Then al bets are off. They can't retain any information, have more confusion and more problems.
Now my mom needs assistance with cleaning after 2, but she can sit on the toilet correctly. NO more accidents. Even at night when I don't hear her, she's able go to the bathroom and do her business without a mess. She'll say, "I know how to use the bathroom right, when I see the flower sticker".
If you don't have a bidet. You can keep a small pitcher under the sink. I use it occasionally when mom has accidents and forget to get up to go to the bathroom at night. Use rubber gloves, liquid soap and a disposable baby wipe (as a wash cloth). Scrub her around her private area with liquid soap, then rinse with warm water, and pat dry. It's much easier than having to give her a shower after accidents.
Good Luck to you.