My grandmother has stage 4 liver cancer and is unable to undergo operation. She's been eating and drinking very less, less than a child. She also suffers from very frequent diarrhoea, like 15 times a day. I don't know what to do, should I force her to eat more and drink more water? Or let her eat and drink whatever and however much she wants? She often wants to drink BEER and eat sugary foods.
She is not well mentally as well and is often crying when my family and I seem worried for her. She has talked about killing herself so we don't have to care for her anymore.
I’m sorry your grandmother is so ill. Have you asked for a hospice evaluation? Hospice would give you a nurse to see your GM at least weekly and an aide to bath her. They would keep her comfortable and have something for the diarrhea. Perhaps an antidepressant would help as well.
She is understandably depressed and possibly in pain.
I know this is hard. I would say let her eat anything she wants although the sweets may be contributing to the stomach upset. Ask her doctor about hospice and get GM comfortable.
Hospice is there for you, grandma and the whole family.
A few things.
Do not "force" her to eat. As the body begins to shut down the need for food decreases. She will not feel hunger like you or I do. To "force" her to eat may result in more discomfort as the food will not be properly digested.
This is the same for fluids. No IV's as the body can not process the fluids either.
I think at this point you can give her whatever food and fluids she wants.
(Do know that mixing any alcoholic beverage with a medication can cause problems. She will be more of a fall risk if she had had a beer compounding that with meds can make that worse)
Hospice will see her as often as they need to to resolve pain and symptom management.
Hospice will provide all the supplies you need.
A Nurse will come at least 1 time a week, more often if needed.
A CNA will come at least 2 times a week to help with a bath or shower and to order supplies. And all supplies and medications will be delivered.
What you can do for grandma is be there with her. Tell her you love her and just talk and listen to her.
If she is talking suicide I would call her primary doc right away as they may decide on some antidepressants to help her. Even if she's just emoting or really couldn't carry it out she will get medical attention faster. Just went through this with my Mom and expressing her depression and the medical team was very concerned if she was feeling suicidal, she then "goes to the front of the line".
Does your Grandma have a PoA, or a Living Will? Is anyone her Medical Representative?
Please do not force her to eat or drink.
See the doctor and request a Hospice consult to give you support, to medicate her and keep her comfortable.
I am so sorry.