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Dad's dementia is worsening daily. He's very healthy otherwise. I need advice on handling his irrational behavior such as keeping power tools in his room. Mind you he's not allowed to use any of them. He just wants to lock up everything in his room so it won't get stolen. I've tried to reason with him, but I can clearly see now this irrational behavior is a step up & beyond what is normal. How do you all handle situations like this?

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MamaCrow:

Welcome to Forum. You say in your profile that you are a recent widow who has moved in with your elderly dad to care for him. I am going to assume then that this is his home.
As you don't mention other concerns and problems just now it seems that this is the one and only.

How big is this house? Any way to change Dad's closet to have shelving and be the "tool closet". I know--weird, but if this is the only sort of OCD-like obsession, it could just work.
Men have a very close relationship to the "tools" they used to do "fix it" with everything in their lives. Seeing these things all nicely lined up may be his comfort.
Even shelving in the rooms would work, because what man didn't want to run out to the toolshed.
You say there is no chance of his using them, but you could also disable the plugs if need to with child-proofing.

I am, again, assuming this is the biggest and only concern now as you don't mention anything else. So, me, myself, I am turning Dad's (hopefully biggest bedroom in the house) into the best -looking tool collection on the planet.
Let him look about at the things that brought him the best/most comfort. He is 95. This problem is self limiting, to me.

Things may be a good deal worse than you are saying; this may be the tip of the iceberg. But as you state it, this is my idea for it.

Also think to buy him some big glossy books. My bro loved cars. Dad loves tools. Get him "Tools Through History", old Wards Catalog book or some such to just look through. My brother could do old cars by the hour. I am assuming there's some eyesight left.

Good luck. If you find anything that works let me know. But sounds like a good "project" for the two of you to do together.
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Mamacrow Jul 2023
Thank you! This is a big house - Family home - we've been living here off the river since 1970. Before my husband got ill I would come over part-time to care for him while my Son and his wife were at work - then my husband became ill, then passed over, and so I swapped homes with my Son & his wife. So that in itself could be part of the problem - He might miss my Son and his presence in the home. But it was necessary for me not to have to commute back & forth in the dark. We have a nice set up in Dad's room for him (his is the Master bedroom on the house with his own bathroom) He has an entire wall now dedicated to his tools & things he loves. But then came in the big tool box (locked) and now the power drills, air blower, weed eater (today) - it's getting out of control. I'm all for helping him feel safe and comfortable - but this is getting out of hand. He loves calendars with old airplanes, and used to love to put together puzzles but his hands are stiff now so he gave that up. Doctor checkups are great - he's is good health - perfect bloodwork, etc. Just the irrational behavior is mounting steadily. Thanks for the input. I'm doing my best. I'm going to try the large books (great idea)! He just may be bored and needs different types of stimulation to get his mind off the darn tools (we do have a large garage filled with tools btw lol) They'll all be in his room soon lolol
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Umm are we talking chainsaws?

I met a man who hid a knife in his wash bag 'to keep it from being stolen". Pulled that out to show me & wave around.

Knife, power tool, simple hammer...

Man with confision/delusion/panania + item that can become a weapon = scary & potentially bad outcome.
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Mamacrow Jul 2023
Not yet! No, he's locking up tools like power drill, weed eater (today) and keeps his toolbox (locked) one in his room and one in the garage - all locked We have locks everywhere now! Then he goes to take a nap and we have to wake him if we need tools. He says they're too expensive to replace - He doesn't buy them I do (palm to face) I'm trying no to get angry with him because I know it's irrational thought process, but OMG!! Today was the clincher with the weed eater - My Sons' take care of our yard - so they use the tools - not him. But you have a good point! I guess I'd better make sure he doesn't try to take knives and the chainsaw in there! Geez! I try to make him feel secure and tell him not to worry about such things so much. Maybe it's being alone here with me 80% of the time ?? He needs to protect the home & property ?? I don't know!
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Take the string out of the weed eater, and of course, allow no gasoline-powered tools inside your home.
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JoAnn29 Jul 2023
Its his home
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OMGOODNESS! No do not let him do this! First he may have a UTI have him checked!
My experience: My daddy wanted all his money with him and I told him he could not have it with him because he may lose it but I had placed it in a safe under the house where no one could find it. I took a picture of a box under the house and told him it was safe. He was satisfied with that. He also wanted his guns with him I told him his grandson was taking care of them in a gun case, and showed him picture I took off the internet of guns in a gun case, he was happy with that. Remember adults with ALZ and Dementia are not thinking correctly they may hurt you or themselves with big tools and knives. Remember you can lie or tell them anything that will satisfy them so you can stay safe.
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Mamacrow Jul 2023
He just had his yearly physical last week and his doctor says everything is great! no UTI's - blood work perfect! Doc did say to expect this behavior to get worse. We bought him a nice tool shed for all of his tools to see if he'd let us remove them from his room but nope - he wants them with him in the room when he's sleeping. Which means we all have to wait to use any of them until he wakes up! He also sleeps with his wallet under him at night. We bought him a safe for his wallet and important smaller things but he forgets the code and wakes us up at all hours of the night to open it - so we removed that from his room. It's a journey - that's for sure! Just looking for suggestions of how others cope with this. Thanks for your input!
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So he gets angry.

Not everything can be fixed.

Yes, it is his home. But he has dementia and cannot be the ones making the rules.

Get his doctor to tell him "no". Tell him there is a new HOA rules that power tools nay not be kept indoors.

Don't try to reason with him. Say no.

There are meds that nay lessen his paranoia.
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Mamacrow Jul 2023
I like to HOA rules - Dad is very "by the book" so that might work! Thank you! I'll tell him a new law was passed that tools can no longer be held in the house! We don't have an HOA! thanks for the suggestion! He doesn't listen to his doctor either. We've changed doctors several times in the past because they keep him waiting too long or he doesn't like what they say. He likes his doc now - but still won't listen to him! uughh! He's a stubborn old goat lolol
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